


We'll Meet Again|| WWI x AoT/SnK

by Kyliet



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - World War I, Developing Friendships, Fanfiction, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Historical Figures, Historical References, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Multi, Nursing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pilots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-05-12 22:58:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 55,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19238830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyliet/pseuds/Kyliet
Summary: All I cared about was winning this warAll I cared about was learning how to soarThrough the skies and through victoryBut I was blind to the truth, I'm sorryBut that had changed when I met youThe only woman I loved so trueI am yours till the morning dewI bid you only today adieuAuf wiedersehen, meine einzige liebeZum bitteren oder zum schlimmstenWir sehen uns wiederIch liebe dich, meine liebe bratsche.- Rittneister Erwin Smith, Graf von Schmidt in aletter (End of 1916, Eastern Front)





	1. Eagle

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I decided to write this but I did. I wrote the entire plot story in like three hours with my bare hands with nothing but pen and paper. But typed it later on.
> 
> Hope you like it.
> 
> Not a single AoT character belong to me, only Erzsi and probably some crazy rendering of history and fictional stories :))

**CHAPTER I**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _"  Eagle "_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **_EVERYTHING WAS STILL AND QUIET, THAT’S ALL HE KNEW AS HE WATCHED THE DEER PASS._ ** _Stillness was key, he had heard his father’s words echo through him at that moment. And that one should always be patient, always ready to wait for the right opportunity to strike. Readying his position, he watched as the dark haired young boy and the brown haired young woman too sat still with the hounds. The dark haired boy held a rifle too, just like him. He smiled softly at the sight of the smoke eyed young man for he would not be surprised if he would shoot first and successfully do so. His eyes were like a hawk’s._

_But of course, his own blue orbs were an eagle’s._

_And he was sure that there was nothing more majestic than an eagle._

_Hunting was not his most favorite thing, nor was it his desire to carry rifles on his broad shoulder. He would have rather stayed inside the house and get to reading or perhaps have more of the stories his grandfather had when he had lived during a time of unparalleled chaos when he fought during the Napoleonic Wars for Prussia. But it was a sport that has been indulged by many of their ancestors for many generations before them. And he was not one to disappoint when people had expectations, especially of him as the only child and heir of his father._

_The dogs started to make a fuss but giving a signal to his companions with his finger to his lips, he wanted to make sure that the kill would happen. They had waited so long to corner the prey that losing it would be a shame. He locked his eyes as the deer moved its head lowly to grassy plains and soon a shot rings out._

**_Boom!_ **

_Thunderous and loud, the sound had horrified the prey and ran, making his handsome features realize that he had missed as the smoke clouded around him. He should have known that it was not the most accurate shot he had taken. After all, he never missed._

_He nodded to his companions that they should chase it and so quickly they ran up and untied the reins of their horses from the tree and sat up on the saddle with haste._

_But he stopped._

_There was a buzzing sound._

_He looked around him, abandoned and empty woods filled with tranquility and peace, especially that his two companions had already gone ahead to catch the deer with the hounds. And there would be no trespassers on these lands. These lands were private and owned by his family. There would be no way that an outsider would be able to come and harm him._

_But then he looked up the sky._

_His beautiful blue orbs widened as he saw what was in the sky._

_It was a plane._

_It had been only been a few years since the damn thing was invented an ocean away, far from these shores he calls home. He had never seen one before despite the words of praises and delight the masses have from foreign lands for this new discovery. But he had been fascinated by the idea even before planes were invented or even when the airships were invented to be of use to humanity. It was when he had seen an eagle then as a child that forced him to ask the question._

_What was it like to fly?_

_What was it like up there to see everything and anything, even the most infinitesimal thing known to man?_

_What did it feel like to be above, to feel the clouds and the fresh breathe of air kissing your face as you become an equal to the creatures of the sky?_

_He urged his horse forward quickly, but in another direction. The one where he can follow the plane, for sooner or later it would be gone. He wanted to watch it with his own two eyes, with these clear eyes of an eagle. He wanted to feel like he too was on there like the man flying that thing._

_Stretching out his arms through the wind trying to imitate the wings of a still bird, he looked up as it disappeared in the far distance, the heavy sound of the buzzing engine heard from miles around._

_One day, he would be up there too._

_One day, he would be soaring high with the eagles above._

_One day, Erwin Smith too would be free like the birds in the sky._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **THE BUZZING SOUND ECHOED HARSHLY THROUGH THE WIND AS HE LOOKED AROUND AS HE WAS SURROUNDED BY BLAZING FIRE FALLING WITH THE COLOR OF SMOKE RUSHING ALONG.** Twisting his hand through his main controller, he watched as the majestic prey swirled through the sky with pieces of its magnificent body broke away as it goes down. Another kill for the eagle, he supposed as he ripped away the wings of the smaller bird. But he shot no further than the plane itself.

Erwin Smith was a man of honor and so most certainly he would not be a butcher.

He looked down to his lap, scribbling with one hand where the prey could have fallen. He was sure that he would need it when he was to claim his victory as the victor of the hunt. He supposed that would make the job easier for him and others. However, there was a part of him that had hoped that the pilot would survive and make a forced landing to safety. Many pilots had been able to do it. He had hoped that the man he had just shot down would be able to do it too.

His piercing blue eyes turned around to gaze through the formation. Each and every other man was engaged in the continuous struggle for survival, of course none were fighting with their fists. Times had changed since the last time they had such a gruesome battle decided by fists and their bare hands.

It was still up to debate if they were more barbaric then than they are now.

But to him the results were still the same. There would still be more people fighting and dying. He knew that bullet after bullet, ramming after ramming, some men still perish to fall from their planes and or burn through the space of air as they fall, to be the losing side in this fight. And some men remain, alive and well, living another day to feel superior to those who had fallen to their traps.

It was a mess, he supposed. A beautiful mess created by men with their own reasons and loyalties. Some were here searching for a purpose, some for the sake of nationalism and patriotism, some because of duty and some for the sake of fame. All had reasons and all were here.

Perhaps he was the only one with a different reason.

Reorganizing his guns, he could hear the raining hell fire of bullets that were aimed towards him. He turned to look upwards, spotting of the plane’s wings as it flew a few meters above him. White, blue and then red. It was another one of them, he confirmed. It was more of the Russians.

Erwin felt however that there was something that told him that this man was different than the two he had already brought down earlier.

But he had to wait to put his finger on it. He was in an attempt to raise up his prey count to three and call it a day. His look hardened as his hidden eyes were met with the prey’s own orbs. His opponent’s eyes had been bluish green, sharp and magnetic, it was as if he was engaging in a language he could not understand with just his eyes. Perhaps those were threats or perhaps messages of hatred.

After all, the Russians believe they were right and the Germans were wrong.

Erwin allowed himself to move his plane quickly from left to right, trying to avoid the Russian pilot’s bullets as he quickly rushed through the masses of clouds. The firing had stopped. But the quiet sound would not last long as he emerges from above and sees a little further below him was the Russian. Immediately, Erwin allows his guns to fire and soon the Russian pilot was the one running.

Erwin could imagine his friend was making a face now at him, being cocky with his movements.

But he could say Levi Ackerman was doing the same as he shot down another one with that same hardened look on his face as those grey orbs of his watched the back of the plane burst into flames and its pieces shatter through the air.

He sees the bullet penetrate the fins, giving damage to the proud colors of the Imperial air force. But soon, the Russian pilot allowed himself to become one with the clouds as well. Erwin had not been aware that today would be much cloudier than what had been predicted earlier. But it was a welcomed one to a pilot in a fight, if you want to survive the fight, that is. Otherwise, you would become just another prey to the hunters in the sky. There would be no escape when it came to that, only certain defeat and even perhaps by the end of it, death.

Looking around amidst the heavy clouds, he searched for his man carefully. But he could not find him as his plane rushed out of the cloudy plains. But for a moment, Erwin had recalled when this war had begun.

 Still perfectly in his head as if that day had been yesterday, he recalled his father coming home from his business at the capital. He had been dining by himself then when his father enter the dining room, still dressed in the same clothes he had when he left Berlin.

He only utters four words, four big words that will flow through the rest of Europe.

_‘We are at war.’_

That was more than a two years ago.

In that amount of time, there had been so many things that had happened. There were so many men, both young and old who were becoming more and more crowded in trenches and then the next day they were lesser. There would be more women, both young and old, who would be brides and wives in one day and the next they were widows. There would be children, both boys and girls, born the next day with their parents beside them and then the next they were orphans.

Erwin Smith had experience much loss in that small amount of time. When he begun in his first squadron, almost half were killed and soon he’d see new faces. There were not many changes when he gained his own chain of command from both Kaisers. Every few weeks or so, there would be a new face he would have to know. And then he would have to write their families, giving condolences and bringing home their belongings but never their sons or fathers. However he knows that here were more people who felt the loss of those around him than he could ever have. He may know what was in their files but he would never truly know what they were like other than those brief moments of spoken contact. 

But it was too late.

He shouldn't be acting self righteous now.

He was already too big a part of it.

As he gathers himself up to sober through the skies, he watched as one more man of his command fell and burned through the air. An entire quarter of the plane was burning and it was the most dangerous part, the engine.  His lips moved, saying a silent prayer for the man they had lost. It had become a part of his routine before he knew it. Erwin was not the most faithful member of the church but thinking about another life for his men when they die, it soothes him. It relieves him more than anyone would ever know.

But he did not expect the hit he had gotten from above him.

His eyes managed to catch a glimpse of the pilot who had manage to get to him. He snickered in pain. It was the same bloody Russian pilot and as he would expect he was smirking as well. But unlike the other pilots, this one did not finish him off with a few more bullets. No, he let Erwin live for a little while longer.

The man flew away and soon, he could see Levi flying to him. Even then, he could see Levi’s face, horrified at the sight of him falling. No one had been able to shoot Erwin down before. No one had been able to nor even came close to even achieving the impossible. But alas, it had happened and there was no way Levi could stop it.

Blood was trailing down his head. His gloved hand touched it, feeling the unstoppable flow of it just gushing slowly like tears from one’s eyes. But he felt nothing. He felt absolutely numb. He could not feel a thing. But he could see everything. The clear blue skies, the luscious beauty of the clouds, the wonderful warmth of the sun against his skin.

This was a beautiful sight to die in.

He could feel his lips perk up into a tight smile.

Everything started to flash through his eyes.

His father who was in Berlin, arguing and desperately yearning for peace in a hall filled with deaf men in the Reichstag. He was certainly waiting for him, he knew. So was their dog, Matrich. Ah, it would have seemed nice. To be home again in his family’s estate. To have the warmth of the fire place, the smell of the old library filled with ancient books. To sit upon his white horse Floggen again and to ride through the forests once more to see the magnificent beasts of the wild ever again.

He thought of Marie.

Oh where could she be now?

He thought of her sweet smile.

Her sweet smile felt like spring, so fresh and new every single time and wonderful and warm. He thought about her doe like eyes, shining like beautiful amber burning through the warmth of the fire. He thought about her laugh, one that would lighten up the room, everyone would be begging to hear it as if it had been a beautiful masterpiece made by a great composer.

But he knew he would never have her.

Not ever again.

He laughed bitterly.

Damn that bloody pilot.

He was too good for his own sake.

Then everything had turned to black.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **THE MOANING AND THE CRYING HAD NOT DETERRED HER ANYMORE, SOMETHING WHICH SHE SUPPOSED ANY NURSE WOULD BE GLAD AT THIS SITUATION.**  After seeing so much in this war that had dragged on for more than long enough, she would no longer be surprised to see anything enough to be deterred.

War was not a kind thing by any means, but rather it was miserable and dreaded by those in such a situation like these, regardless of the glorious victories and the cheers of patriotism. No one truly benefited from this, she thought. Looking around the already crammed room filled with men who were badly wounded by snipers, horribly injured by shell fire, men who were horrifically burnt alive by flamethrowers, and men who had been forced into the gust of the deadly gas, she knew she was right.

From those men pissing themselves in their trenches to those who were plain ordinary country folk who see their countries ruined before their eyes. Many are fed with the idea of great eternal glory for their own beloved homeland. That in this war they were all doing their god given service to preserve their way of life from those who threaten to see it disappear. But she wondered for how long can the lie live?

“Erzsi, focus.” She snapped back to reality when the doctor had called her name. He had a look in his face that told her he had been annoyed with her losing focus. She looked embarrassed as she murmured a quiet apology. “Hand me the bandages.”

“Of course, Doctor.” She says in reply, walking towards the medical cart to grab the woolen bandages. He thanked her and took them gently. She watched him wrap the bandages onto the large gash of flesh in his leg that had been cleared earlier.

He had been hit by artillery pieces that exploded beside him. The German soldier should be delighted to still be alive despite the great pain. At the very least he wasn’t as unlucky as some of his already perished comrades. But she was sure that the soldier would continue to be hysterical and unable to perform his duties again.

He was drowsy now but earlier he had been horrified and screaming from pain and his fear of the loud monstrous sounds of the artillery. The doctor would be thinking no doubt whether to write about the man’s hysteria of either _Kriegshysterie_ or the _Kriegszitterer._ Something that is now too common sight for anyone nowadays considering how terrible this war has been to the soldiers both in and out of the front lines. Causes and cases vary from time to time. At times some men were violent and deprived, some were in a state of hallucination and fear. This man was filled with so much fear that he might have been seeing ghosts all around him.  Not that it wouldn't be impossible. She had no doubt he had seen as much her, men disappearing so effortlessly from the earth in just a single blow that it would not be unknown to see the men he had known with him in their temporal forms. 

God knows she sees them too.

The doctor was a little incapacitated, considering there were many patients that needed more attention than just this man and felt that he was not only getting a headache but also taking important time away from him to do his duty. That was why he had decided to give the man just the right amount of morphine to calm him down, the reason he was now drowsy and calm. A much needed thing considering artillery shells could be heard from so many miles around. Another thing that causes the doctor's unbearable pains.

She took to getting the scissors and handed it off to the doctor, he thanked her again. When the doctor had finished, he handed her the scissors again and helped the poor soldier down to his pillow to rest. A few moments later, the soldier was already asleep.

“Will he survive?” She questioned the doctor quietly as he removed his round rimmed glasses, his fingers capturing the bridge of his nose. He had no doubt been having headaches again. That did not surprise her though. The doctor had not slept in a few days.

“Perhaps if the wound would not reopen carelessly and heal fast.” He returned the glasses to his face. He moves his head, pointing to the outside. She nods and follows him for a smell of fresh air. “I would imagine as soon as it heals then maybe he would be discharged. He may be susceptible and easy to break. That could cause moral to the troops.”

“Will you be writing about it?” He looked at her with a questioning gaze. “The state of hysteria we witnessed from the soldier.”

“I would have to do that.” He nodded at that, his hands gathering to his pockets. He was no doubt searching for his cigarettes. “He’d be fine. I should think they'd let him do some other job away from this bloody hell. And he’ll be paid doing that job. Do not worry too much, nurse Erzsi.”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I think I overstepped by boundaries again, doctor Jaeger.” Zeke Jaeger laughed at her words in a quiet tone, finding his cigarette and his lighter.

“You mustn’t apologize for caring about these men. God knows how they need it more than ever.” He points out to her as they made their way outside. Immediately, he took his lighter and lit the cigarette. He takes a huff and breathes it out. He looks off to the distance.

“Neither the government nor the Kaiser care anyway. God knows their programs for the mentally afflicted soldiers are but a farce to cover up their asses. And even when they get home, their families might just see them as burdens. This war has not been kind to everyone. Not even to our dear fatherland. Having one person care about them like you do is something." 

“I suppose it is.” She sighs softly. Zeke took another huff and offered it to her. She smiled and kindly took it from him, her fingers letting her parted mouth achieve rugged heaven. The grey smoke released from her lips then she came for another before returning it to the doctor. “Thank you.”

He smiled at her. “You are more than welcome.”

"It is already very lucky that there are still generous people in this world that keep this hospital afloat." She says to him as she watched the doctor sniff the thick layer of grey smoke. She supposed that it would keep him more awake than the coffee the staff serve here. She knows he doesn't really like it all that much. "In that way, we can help as many soldiers as we can."

"I would give them a pat in the back for their _valiant_ efforts to contribute to this war." He snickered bitterly as he eyed her with a tightened jaw. "But then again they're the ones who are encouraging this bloody mess in the first place."

She sighs softly before her lips turn into a tight line. "I suppose so."

Zeke Jaeger was a rather handsome man. His face could only be described as a man who was blessed by the gods to look almost more of a prince than any sort who had that title to his name. There were many things he had been proud of that he had gotten from his father. That strong Jaeger jaw, square and strong boned. His sharp thick pinkish lips. He even credited his intelligence from his great father, a grand duke of some German kingdom within the Empire.

But he supposed that he would credit everything else to his dear beloved mother, the former wife of the duke Dina Reiss. His molten sapphire orbs were sharp and intricately unique, his darkened blond hair curled at the ends of the strands, his wonderful muscular built was often prescribed to his princely grandfather. Even his ideals and his beliefs could be credited to her.

Being his mother’s only child and his father’s eldest son, he was poised to inherit not only his mother’s fortune but also the dukedom that had been in his family’s possession for many generations. However, he was not interested in anything that relates to the idea of privilege or titles or inheritances and formally renounced his claim to his father’s holdings before the war began.

Of course, he won’t turn down his mother’s fortune. That would be very useful to his scientific research. Zeke may have loved the idea of being free from the responsibilities his birth had consign to him however he was not foolish enough to not understand that he needed to fund his work somehow.

Much to everyone’s headaches, Zeke was much more interested in his studies and practices of science and medicine than his care for all his parents held dear. Of course his father had been an avid fan of science and its wondrous branches however he did not give up his privilege as his son had. In fact, he was once betrothed to his cousin Historia Reiss however he had not been interested in her enough to visit or write to her and instead focused on deadlines for his scientific papers.

His mother had been bitter about him giving up what she thought was his right. Knowing fully that it would end up in the hands of the child of that woman who had taken her rightful place from her.  Zeke had managed to calm his mother’s temper down and forced her to get over it so that they may continue on with their lives without the drama. Of course Zeke did not mind if his brother gets everything in the end. He thinks his younger brother will do a swell job as his replacement to the dukedom. He was a rather smart young man and he would go far with his mindset. But he also believed that he would be more of a swell husband to Historia rather than him. Well, at least when the war of course come to an end.

Though Zeke was quite aware that his mother was rather bitter about him still not married and not giving her grandchildren, to settle down and not have the life he has been living. Zeke had laughed her off all the time when his mother brings it all up. However he thinks he’s not one for that kind of lifestyle or life in general. His life was dedicated here, to the advancement of science and medicine.

That is what he had told her when they'd met at least.

That however did not stop him from jokingly (and sometimes unconsciously seriously) ask Erzsi’s hand in marriage. She was quietly tempered in nature, she was kind and sweet. There are times however when she’s feisty when she was angry with him or someone else. She’s obsessed about making sure everything is in place which he could relate to. Not to mention that she’s smart in his own ways and they had much in common in attitude and beliefs.

And there was also the fact that she was very pleasing to his eyes.

Of course each time she was asked, she would reply no.

But he supposed he hasn’t given up yet.

Perhaps that's the greatest amusement he's had in a long while.

“You know there’s a court house somewhere near here.” He whispered as he blew the smoke out into the air. “Maybe if we take an early break then we could make a register-“

“Not gonna happen, Jaeger.”

“Why not?” He moaned out with a questioning gaze. He allowed his mouth to accept the rugged cigarette. Huffing out the smoke once more, he pouted. “I could more than provide for you, _liebling_. And I mean that in the sense of entertainment, wealth and sex.”

“I still say no.” She says as she turns to look at the vehicle that was arriving. “Finish that. There’s a new patient.”

“We’ll talk about it later.” He says in an overdramatic tone, taking one final huff before letting the cigarette bud fall to the steps of the stairway. He watched as the medical staff quickly removed the patient from the vehicle, the crippled figure of the man very much well known to all of them. Blood flew down his handsome yet sleeping form. His bright blond hair drenched in red, his pilot’s cap was almost glued to his head from the amount of blood that had fallen onto him.

Zeke paused.

His face paled.

Immediately, he knew that man.

“Well, well. If it isn’t Erwin Smith.” He said, speaking in his native tongue of German. “I haven’t seen him in a very long time. I suppose we don’t have any need for identification tags for this one.”

“His plane landed just a mile from here.” The medic explained to him. “Despite the fact he was shot in the head, the captain managed to land his plane perfectly.”

“How is he still alive?” was all her mouth could mutter as she immediately inspected the wound. She looks to Zeke. “He needs to be operated soon, doctor Jaeger.”

Zeke did not move yet.

“Doctor Jaeger!” She says as the soldiers brought the body of the pilot inside. Zeke cupped his jaw. His eyes returned her worried gaze, but it was furious emotions that echoed within those quiet eyes just minutes before. “If you have any vengeance against the pilot, deal with it later. You swore a vow.”

“I know.”

“You have not forgotten that vow, have you not?”

“No, I haven’t.” His lips become a tight nipped line. “I haven’t forgotten my vow to serve those who are in need.”

“Then go inside and save that man’s life.” He felt her lips press a small kiss upon his cheek. “I’ll buy you a drink later. But save that man’s life.”

She hurried inside.

And quickly he calmed himself down.

He got back inside.

 _'Time to save his life,'_ he supposed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Bratsche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time we met I didn't give you my name  
> The first time we met I thought I would never feel the same  
> But as time passed I did  
> I loved you as if it was truly sin  
> You were my greatest temptation  
> And you were my greatest redemption  
> I loved you in the days of June  
> Knowing it was always doomed  
> I clung to the name you gave  
> Your dearest bratsche, I stay to be.
> 
> \- Nurse Erzsi to a letter to Rittmeister Erwin Smith, Graf von Schmidt (1917)

 

**CHAPTER II**

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _“ Bratsche ”_

 

 

 

 

**_ERWIN SMITH COULD FEEL HIS EYES BLINK WIDE OPEN AS THE COLD STRENGTH OF THE WIND SLAPPED AGAINST HIS FACE._ ** _The empty grey skies greeted him with great fanfare as it danced along with the wind, moving through and through. Blue orbs gazed through to find crows flying through the sky, and yet he heard no mocking cry from them. One moment they would come, but then they would disappear from his sights completely. Quiet was all around him. But there was a part of him that felt as though time had stopped. Time was no longer on his side._

_He was in the middle of nowhere, he thinks, as he slowly sat up to feel the fresh untainted touch of dancing wheat upon his face. His thick brows furrowed in confusion. The unfelt texture was met by his leather gloves as he stood up completely, towering over the growing golden wheat. Face turning from left to right, he wondered where he was and why he had been there in the first place. Why would he be in the middle of nowhere all alone?_

_Had he crash landed?_

_Another searching gaze intently looked through the glowing plains but nowhere could be found. His brows furrowed lower as his confusion dug further through his head. There was no absolute way for him to gather all by himself here without his plane or any vehicle with him. Deciding that he had to go, he walked through the field of gold and thrust forward and back to gather a clear path for him to thread upon._

_Perhaps below these fields were soldiers and his fellow comrades, settled in some barn. Maybe Erwin had ordered for them to give him some time to think by himself undisturbed. He did that from time to time after all. At times every other soldier too would demand such thing. Silence was one of the great pleasures of men surrounded by the crowded noises of horror and carnage they could not prevent._

_Then the dark skies had started to cry from above him. Being a soldier for almost half of his life, Erwin Smith was not one to cower from the idea of pouring rain. Soldiers adapted to any weather nature would gift him. But there was a voice in his head scolding him for being stupid enough to leave his officer’s cap somewhere. Now he was in danger of his hair being damped in the rain and looking unfortunately improper in front of his men._

_That was unacceptable to the military high command._

_But then again, Erwin was not always abiding to their wishes anyway considering he dresses informally as well and not to mention broke many of the rules before._

_He thinks his men would not mind._

_They might even see him to be someone to relate to considering at times of war; it was hard to even look presentable._

_Then afterwards, he can go back to looking more presentable._

_Going down to through the fields however, he stumbled as he slipped through the feeling of wet earth and tumbled through as he felt himself fall into a ditch. He cursed in his native tongue, angry that he was too stuck in his desire for his cap that he fell down absentmindedly. Staggering through to get his lower half stood, he was only glad to know that neither Levi nor Hange were here to see him become undignified into the mud. Otherwise, the embarrassment would have been more than he could bear, even if it was only mere teasing. It would after all look bad for his image in front of the men._

_But then Erwin stood to find where he was._

_He was not in a ditch._

_This was no mere ditch._

_This was a trench._

_His eyes widened as it all came back to him._

_The feeling of dread as men sat through their posts, pissing themselves as eyed filled with horror and fear as the continuous thunderclaps of heavy fire came upon them. The sound of loud machine gun fires, the loud sounds of artillery fire through the muddy lands leaving almost nothing to see but emptiness and death and devastation._

_The lucky bastards like him who were high enough in rank to be able to stay inside the trenches as poor young souls ran off to do their duty, screaming with great mighty strength to avoid the thought of death to plague them, knowing that where they were going was the path to hundreds and hundreds of rotting corpses never to be found and unknown now from both sides who were the ones who had perished before and knowing that in the end they too will be like those men. Dead, rotting and forgotten._

_As he stood his ground, he could feel the rising of those dead all around him. Some men did not even have eyes to spare as the darkness consumed it. Others had bullets on their faces, on their chests, on their arms and on their feet. Some did not have the pleasure of boots any longer, gathering only battered and rotten feet as they stood in front of him._

_They were all dead, he had known that. All these men have been known to him since they met there in this same trench once as friends and comrades, some he knew in childhood and youth, some he knew then and there from his military years. But he knew them. He had conversations with them, he shared his meals with them and sat in the same trench as them. And yet they looked at him that way._

_Erwin Smith was very much used to it now, he supposed and he was not someone to cower to the look of it every time he saw it. That same look had been repeated so many times that he thinks it’s the only way people who did not know him truly would look at him. Because all they see was the things they only wish to see._

_His cold calculating gaze as he and his fellow officers decided where the men should attack next in skirmishes in different lines of trenches. His lack of showing sorrow or joy in the face of every attack lost and won. His immediate attitude on moving forward so completely without a second thought to a new objective. Doing things without hesitation or fear, they thought of him a machine, a cold man and a terrible unfeeling man._

_But he knew that no one truly saw the truth, other than those who were in his circle of people. He was a man of command, what was he supposed to do? There was no need for other men to die by him breaking down and not acting. There would be more time to mourn when everything would die down into still and wanted silence but at that moment, they had to fight and do their duty even if it hurts them more than one would ever know._

_They never knew that._

_And still he kept silent about it. He just let them hate him. He just let them see him more as a monster than a living breathing man. But he knew at the very least he was doing his duty. And he knew by doing that duty, he was just as guilty for their deaths as the enemy was. And in the end, that led him to think that maybe he really deserves the glares and the stares and those feelings of hatred. In the end, he was just another terrible man._

_Not even his valiant victories in the sky could absolve him of that._

_Not even his good moral acts could save him from that title._

_Nothing could save him._

_BANG!_

He gasped ever so loudly as the porcelain covered doors heavily screeched, thrusting open and then shut. He tried to move his head forward but he could feel the horrible pain and numbness that the act had caused him. Erwin gave in and remained unmoving, though his eyes have not received the act of surrender and moved around to answer his curiosity. Everything he saw had been covered in beautiful silvers and whites.

The window panes looked elegantly made out of marble as the window in itself was clean and beautifully transparent, allowing for him to see the tranquility of trees with birds chirping and singing songs that resound through his own ears. The ceiling was carved marvelously by hand, he thinks, filled with flowers and birds through the gilded silver panels and concrete. The small chandelier looked more modest than the rest, almost as if it was deliberately chosen by the one who built this house as after all some people may be grand but often times they run out of money to buy more grandeur pieces.

But perhaps the most disappointing thing was the walls. As much as they were beautifully painted in wonderful strokes, they could have been better decorated and made in his opinion. Not that he would have the ability to march to the architect of this room. There was a war and he could be gone and displaced or even dead. And there was the minor obstacle of him being incapacitated in this shallow bed.

The doors opened once more.

“I see you have woken. Judging by what my fellow nurse said, you seem to have had a nightmare, _rittmeister_ Erwin Smith.” The voice exclaimed softly in his native tongue as she walked towards his bed, leaning forward to his upper body and with one hand, carefully lifting his head as the other fixing the pillow beneath it. Once she had fixed the pillow, both hands rested the head back carefully to the pillow. “You had all the staff worried sick, _rittmeister._ ”

He looked at her intently as she smiled at him. Her voice was not too sweet but it was not rough either. It was in his head a balanced tone to hear. It was obvious from the start that she had been a nurse. Her hair, silver blonde in his eyes, was neatly tied back under a white cap, a white blouse underneath the upper garments had sleeves going through the her wrists, a larger grey dress with the wide sleeves cutting in the middle of her arms, its length reaching to the edge of her legs and finally a long thick apron was neatly pressed from her shoulders to her knees.

But he could not point the very color of her eyes.

She laughed softly at him. He found astonishing warmth in her laughter.

“Just because your head is currently injured, it does not mean it shattered your jaw or your mouth, _rittmeister_.” She says teasingly as she turned away from him towards the medical cart, doing something he was not familiar with. “You can speak to me, you know.”

“I should think that I owe you my apologies then?” He replied in the same tone as her, feeling a little stiff. Perhaps it may have been from sleep.

“I was just teasing you. Forgive the tone earlier.” He heard her respond, calmly working. “It’s our duty as nurses and doctors to ensure your life remains intact in your body.”

“There is no need to apologize.” He says to her softly. “If anything, I ought to thank you. You saved my life.”

“I think it is the other way around.”

“How so?”

“The men who brought you here informed us that you didn’t crash land.” That caused him great surprise. That has never been heard of before, if he was to be honest. “Which means your body saved your life.”

“I imagine that if I had crashed, I would be nothing but a pile of broken bones.” He says almost unaffected by the idea of dying in such a manner. “Burnt and broken pieces, to be exact.”

“It wouldn’t have been pretty.”

“No, it wouldn’t have been.” He agreed to her in reply. “Have you seen something like that before?”

“Yes, I have.” She confirmed to him, though he noticed a hint of sorrow in her tone. “On both sides as a matter of fact.”

“You also treat the Russians?” He was surprised that doctors would do something like that out of their good moral code to save lives. But all he had been to before were specialized ones for German armies or Austrian ones. “Not just German soldiers or Austrians or Hungarians?”

“No.” She says in response as she turns around to face him. She was holding a tray with a rather big injection needle filled with some medicine along with a clean wipe. Walking to him, she helped him move his body to the side. “Everyone deserves a chance to live, do they not? Regardless of their beliefs and their desires.”

“I suppose so.” He says as she lowered the clothing from the upper side of his buttocks and carefully wiped a small inch of the skin. “That’s not going to hurt too much, will it?”

“I can’t say. It depends from patient to patient.” And soon she thrust the needle into the bare skin, perhaps a little bit strong as the pilot groaned in pain, eyeing her. She smiled apologetically as she removed the needle. “I guess it hurts for you.”

“It just surprised me.” He retorted back, causing her to snort as she put the needle and wipe back into the tray and soon helped him carefully returned to the proper position. He watched as she put away the tray and cleaned her hands, before taking a stool and sitting beside him. He finally saw her eyes clearly. “Your eyes, they look...”

“Uncommon? Unique? Beautiful? Magnificent?” She supplied for him as she smiled. “I’ve heard all the compliments before, _rittmeister._ And most certainly, it would not lead me being wooed by you.”

He smiled at her. “I would say those things but apparently they’ve all been heard.”

She raised a brow. “Oh? Did you have anything to add to the list?”

“Your eyes are like _bratsche_.” He says to her in a soft tone. “I’m rather fond of them myself. My home in Prussia has many in the gardens. They’re probably one of the most magnifying things. Ethereal beauty, it is.”

“I’ve never heard a man say that to me before.” She replied to him as she crossed her arms. She smiled as she was now leaning forward to look at him. “Too bad I’m not easily wooed.”

He returned her smile. “I didn’t say that I was quickly to give up either, _frau bratsche._ ”

“You would not be the first, _rittmeister_ Smith.”

“I’m willing to be the last if you let me.” She shook her head at him. “I want to know your name.”

“You already gave me a name.”

“But that is not your real name. You know my name but I do not know yours. Isn’t that quite unfair?”

“And what use would you have for a poor nurse woman’s name?”

“I have my reasons.” She heard him say as she heard the knock on the door. She walked over and opened it slightly as she nodded and shut it again.

Walking over to him, she says, “Perhaps I’ll give it to you later. You have visitors, _rittmeister_. They say its important.”

He frowned. “Could you not give it now?”

She smiled. “We shall see each other again, when I bring you food perhaps. I suppose you eat anything?”

“You really are a tease, aren’t you?” She giggled at him. “I eat anything. There would be no need for a fuss.”

“ _If you say so_.” With one last smile, she turned her heels and opened the door, staying for a moment in the corridor with familiar voices until a moment later she was gone.

 

Then he heard _that_ loud boisterous voice.

“Erwin!” He saw a dark haired woman running towards him with gathering in her eyes through the aerial goggles. But luckily for him, behind the pilot was a dark haired man with an annoyed look and another one who had ash blond hair was breathing hard and panting. He was impressed to see that they were all here dressed in uniform. The woman turned to dark haired man. “Let me go, Levi! I just wanted to embrace Erwin!”

“Shitty glasses, do you actually want him to die?” The smartly dressed man in uniform, now known as Levi, exclaimed as he smacked her head causing her to moan in pain. “The nurse just said he can’t be touched harshly. Are you that stupid?”

“I can’t help it, okay!?” She sniffed her snot away. Levi let go of her, walking away from her and into the other side of the bed. The man with ash blond hair walked over after regaining his breath and handed her a white handkerchief. She wiped away her nose and raised her glasses to wipe her tears. “We thought you were dead! We all saw you go down!”

“ _Leutnant_ , please calm down!” The young man says to the brown haired woman. “You musn’t stress the _rittmeister_!”

“I’m fine, _fahnrich_ Berner.” Erwin says to the man who looked genuinely worried for his safety. He smiled. “ _Leutnant_ Zoe is always like this, it is fine.”

“Drop the shit ton of fucking titles and just call us by our names.” Levi sighed as he took a seat on the stool that had been left behind. “No one is here but us anyway.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Erwin laughed. He turned to Berner as he soon addressed him informally. “Moblit, if you do write the report on behalf of Hange, please make sure it’s formal.”

“O-of course, sir.” Moblit Berner became flustered at his own formality. “I meant, yes Erwin.”

“I guess he’s still not used to it after all this time.” The light blond haired captain gave a small smile. “Here I am, I am alive and well. But that’s not the only thing you’re all here about, right?”

“Well, the war doesn’t stop just because you’re bleeding to death.” Levi retorted to the flying captain. “The Russians just launched a new offensive to drive the army back. It's working well for them but I suppose it’s working a little terrible for us.”

“What date is it?”

“June 8th.” Levi informed his captain as he watched the blond man’s brows furrowed but flinch at the pain. Erwin took a deep breath. “You’ve been asleep for a week or so. You cannot fly until the wound is healed. I already got word from General Zackly that you’ll be grounded for a while.”

“As expected.” Erwin laughed bitterly. “They don’t want me to perform any more miracles or die.”

“Pilots are like gods to the masses, Erwin.” Erwin turned as Hange said this. “We give hope to the folks down in the trenches and the people at home. You’re beloved by Prussia and the empire.”

“Tch, it’s better this way if we want to win the war and besides, this war has been a long waiting game. Idiots at the capital keep telling us it will be over but we know that’s far from the truth.”

Erwin turned to Moblit. “Is there any news from the front?”

Moblit nodded and said, “The Russians just took Lutsk back, a few hours ago. They said that the speed of their forces were just so quick that the Austro-Hungarian forces were surprised.”

“Did you hear that from Zackly as well?” Erwin asked as Hange nodded.

Hange looked down. “The many died and or was captured. The Austrian leader, Archduke Josef Ferdinand got away just before the Russians descended on the city.”

Erwin frowned. Then that means the Russians have consolidated their forces into one, even the generals who hate and would not cooperate with one another. No, that would be too perfect of a scenario. The Russians would have at least some unity on this matter of pushing the Austrians and the Hungarian forces back. Then that would mean they’d have to push more German reinforcements into the Eastern Front.

“The bastard should have at least stayed to fight with his men.” Levi growled back. “A coward leaving his troops to be caught like that.”

“I have no doubt our high command will try and ask for his removal. We should be fine soon once we consolidate more with the Austrians and the Hungarians.” Erwin said in a serious tone. “If we do have the Russians on our tail, then...”

“You can’t go up on your plane, you idiot. Do I have to repeat orders from the high command?”

Erwin smiled mischievously at him. “It’s not the first time I would disobey high command.”

“Erwin, you know that the situation demands rest.” Hange says, her face filled with fervor of serious emotions. Hange had not yet put her googles down. That could only mean one thing. “We have no intentions to lose you. You’re the highest ace pilot right now in the Eastern Front. To lose you would mean disaster for moral and the war effort.”

“Shitty glasses is right.” Levi turned to take his cravat from his neck, wiping his hand as he felt wet sweat gather on his palms. “Even just this time, learn to take the command. All you can do now is rest and make sure that fucking head of yours heals.”

“Levi, since you’re _oberleutnant_ , you’ll be in charge of our men.” Hange coughed as Erwin sent her an apologetic smile. “And of our female pilots and staff.”

“Understood.” Levi nodded as he stood up from the stool.

“Then, Moblit and I will wait in the car.” Hange says with a small smile. “Eren might be impatient with us by now.”

“Let that brat wait,” Levi retorted back to the woman. “We are his commanding officers, after all.”

Erwin laughed. “Take care, Hange, Moblit. And make sure you write the paperwork properly.”

“Have a little faith in me!” Hange smiled and bid her farewell with Moblit.

Erwin turned to Levi. “Is there anything else you need to report?”

Levi nodded, putting the folded cravat in his pockets. “I also heard we’re getting new pilots. Some of the pilots we had got shot down during the battle. That fat bastard Zackly said that general Esterhazy also pulled sent new ones from the Austrian-Hungarian flying corps and it’ll be a joint effort, of course under German ranks.”

Erwin was intrigued. Dot Esterhazy was a good man with a good eye for many things, that including men for the military. “Dot Esterhazy, the greatest renowned drunken general? I suppose this arrived with Zackly’s orders as well?”

The dark haired man nodded. “It did. I’m just hoping those brats know what they’re getting into.”

“I put my faith in you. I know you’ll be able to whip those kids into shape while I’m away.” He nodded at the blond haired man but this time Levi looked grim. Erwin could read his friend easily after so many years with him. “Is this about the pilot that shot me down?”

“A Russian noble prince.” Levi reported to him. “One of their top aces. He’s called Mike Zacharias.”

“He had bloody good aim.” Erwin complimented. “Shot me and surprised me. Rarely happens.”

“I’ll shoot him down when I see him in the skies for you.”

“No.” Erwin commanded with a stern voice, his gaze dangerous and wild. “Leave him be for now. I’ll shoot him down.”

Levi knew he’d want that revenge. He had known Erwin for almost all his life and he had known that if anyone had offended the blond haired man, the man would take the revenge by himself. No one will and should stand in the way of that. Not that Erwin would allow it, even incapacitated onto the hospital bed. He’ll take his time resting and getting stronger. Then and there, he will bring down that pilot and beat all the other aces.

Levi Ackerman believes in Erwin Smith.

He knows he’ll do it.

“Then I’ll shoot down all his fellow pilots until he’s the only one left.”

Erwin nodded. “I trust you in this.”

“Then, I’ll take my leave.” With some pleasantries given, they parted ways.

Erwin Smith was already plotting.

But first, food and that nurse's name.

 


	3. Fondness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really did not know your name.  
> But I wanted to know you.  
> I wanted to be a part of your world,  
> Even if it was only for a little while.  
> Because I have grown fond of you  
> And every single day I wished to be something,  
> Something that would be meaningful.  
> A confidante, a friend. That was all I wanted then.  
> But as time went on, I realized many things.  
> And one of those things was my love for you.
> 
> -Erwin Smith to Nurse Erzsebet, 1916

 

 

CHAPTER III

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _“ Fondness “_

 

 

 

 

 

**HE HAD GROWN ATTACHED TO HER PRESENCE IN THE WEEKS THAT WOULD PASS THEM BY.** He couldn’t really describe it or even point to what energy she has that pulls him to want her around at first. But soon Erwin knew that this was far more than what he had felt for any woman he had known before. Not even dear Marie. He still thought of from time to time, wondering if she was alright and was eating well. But of course, she did not remain in his mind for too long.

_Frau Bratsche_ was often more around to distract him and give him entertainment when she had nothing else to do. She brought the most unique of card games and she would be teaching him about it, often they would play it late into the afternoon in some of the more quiet days. She would win in those considering how well she knew the game. That and the rapid realization of how well she can do with making a believable bluff, which often led to waiting games and staring matches between them.

There were also opportunities for them to play chess as the hospital has a few boxes of the game to entertain their patients. Of course, they would wait for turns as there were many men who delighted in playing.

However, when they do play together, it would always end up in a stalemate with no one absolutely winning. It was not very often that there would be a decisive end. For a moment, he thought of that childhood friend of his, the one who used to go with him and his father for hunts had been replaced as his most feared adversary at the game. They had stopped playing after he had stopped coming to his father’s estate.

That made him misses the thrill of playing a match with someone who could fight him in the battle of tactics in chess. But he knew that those days of playing with that boy was over. But he was no longer disappointed about that, he had made peace with that. He found someone else to play with.

He realized that the _fraulein_ was that person. The young nurse woman was the person he thought he would never find ever again after Marie. Someone who he could be vulnerable with and confide in when he couldn’t bear it any longer. But indeed he was wrong for the woman with violet eyes existed.

She listened to him night after night when he would wake from nightmares. Granted, he never told her what he would always dread about in his sleep but she would always talk to him enough to distract him. He could only imagine how tired she was from working hard around the hospital to make sure that the other patients were fed and cared for.

But she would stay with him, even if sleep was about to take her, holding his hand and assuring him that it would all be alright. Often times as a mercy when there was fear within him to go back to sleep, she would give him small amounts of morphine enough to knock him to rest. Then every single time after, he would find her asleep in a chair only a few meters from his bed.

At times, he thought it was only pity she was giving him when she was around him. Erwin had never liked that feeling, even in his younger years when he would be beaten and bruised from his training in the military. Not even when his plane would near crash land onto the ground when he had been training as a pilot. He didn’t like it, considering it as false at times, thinking they really didn’t care about him and only cared about not having someone’s blood on their hands.

But the nurse had been different.

She genuinely cared for him and considered him as more than just a soldier, but someone even as close to a friend. Erwin knew that he needed that, a friend. Erwin had barely had any friends before Levi and Hange had come to the picture. And even then, he was still closed off and never talked about his feelings as much as he had given in to _frau Bratsche_. With her, somehow he felt genuine. He didn’t feel like a stone cold statue or the need to turn his heart into ice and lock himself away.

He felt free from the obligations of duty.

He finally felt as though he was alive for the first time in his life.

He finally felt like the eagle.

“Erwin!” He heard the slamming of the table as he blinked, finally removed from the transcendent world in his head. He saw Levi, looking both worried and consumed by anger. Perhaps it was because he was distracted again. “Tch, why do you keep spacing out?”

“Apologies, Levi.” Erwin responded back apologetically as he turned to the paper in his _oberleutnant_ ’s hand. “Is that another report or an order from high command?”

“As I was saying earlier and I never thought I’d have to repeat it for you, it’s both.” Levi retorts back to him with an annoyed look. “I’m really thinking this hospital is distracting you more than getting you better. They have fucking chocolate biscuits for fuck sake.”

Erwin Smith had never had to worry for food. As he was a nobleman of the empire and an officer, food was cooked for him by the cooks in the kitchen. And in the hospital, it was just the same. He had no lack of it. But it wasn’t until _fraulein Bratsche_ had come to him one day and brought beautiful and sweet treats that handmade food meant to him. They were made of pure chocolate, she had told him, from home.

He was astounded considering most materials for the delicacy were put into something else for the sake of the war effort. She later explained that it came from home and was made by hand as her mother took the liberty of making it herself, having her own farm and plants for the cocoa and reminisced about the memories of making them with her in their family home.

He felt rather guilty for having something that other soldiers would be delighted to have and if he did not take it, he would feel guilty for not taking the purple eyed woman’s kindness. In the end, he accepted it and when Levi comes around, he would have him distribute it to some of the members of the squadron into their rations. Levi had told him that the ‘brats’ had been delighted with the delicacy. It has been a while since they even had such luxury.

And he understood their delight for it. The chocolate had been so delicious that all he could think about what home felt like, far away from his war, he was reminded what it’s like to have a home again.

The peace and the quiet of the forests surrounding his father’s estate, the beautiful sunshine through the fields as the workers took out the wheat and the grain to be processed. The young children of the estate’s workers playing little games through the wide empty plains, laughing and giggling as he watched from atop his horse.

He had been reminded of his mother’s cooking, when she had been alive. The laughter and the immense joy which had been in his home then as he and his mother and his father lived a life far away from the intrigue of war and politics, the deceitful games of power and struggles for wealth. He had remembered those days eating those cookies and he had become so fond of them, even if he was not someone who delighted in sugary pleasures.

He was so very fond of them, just like he was with the purple eyed nurse.

“It’s a very nice thing for the _fraulein_ to give us some of that, Levi.” Erwin pointed out softly as the dark haired man rolled his eyes. “Chocolate sweets are rather rare these days.”

“Look this,” Levi pointed to the paper in his hand. “This is probably more important than sweets right now.”

“Then tell me what it is and I’ll let my judgement decide.”

Levi sighed and began to read the paper in his hand, “The high command says that that our squadron, Jasta SAT 1, must put into effect immediately our pilots, both Austro-Hungarian and German pilots, to stop the Russians from breaking our soldier’s lines in the ground.”

“An added order to the order a week before.” Levi nodded at Erwin’s words. A sigh escaped his lips. “Przemyśl could be much nearer to the Austrian-Hungarian defense line but also near the Russian lines."

“Not to mention how far it is from German lines. Both a negative and a positive right there.” Levi added grimly to his thoughts. “Which means you might be needed back immediately to help consolidate these plans and if possible, they’re going to ask you to join flight. Even if it isn’t mentioned, it’s heavily implied. This is your job, after all.”

“Then that means I must be discharged from the hospital sooner, without having healed properly.” Erwin pointed out to Levi. Erwin’s jaw was hard as he clenched it. The look on Levi’s face made sure that what he felt about this was known. He was displeased. He knew Erwin was considering it. “And possibly fly missions.”

“It’s barely been two months since you were shot down. The least those bastards in the high command could do is make sure you don’t fucking die from your wounds not healing properly. Either that or your stupidity.”

“It might have to do with the need of a moral boost.” The blond man sighed. “Or at least make sure that the plans won’t have a blunder, it would be consolidated and firm. As you reported a few days before, a battle broke out again, yes?”

“If they wanted to boost morale, they should remove you from your plane and make you commander for all aerial men in all of the empire and of the Austro-Hungarians.” Levi retorted back to his friend, brows knitted lowly. “But you would probably say no to them too, won’t you?”

Erwin laughed at him in reply. “I suppose I don’t know. Maybe if it came with some really good perks, I’d consider it.”

“You bastard, that wouldn’t be a fucking joke. You should know you’ll never fly again. And doing that a time when we need you...”

“Well, it’s a good thing they want the opposite from me, then.” Erwin smiled as his friend shot him a gaze filled with bottled up worry. “I’ll not be flying for at least a few more weeks. But perhaps, I will come and aid in planning and training the new pilots.”

“That better remain a joke, you shit faced bastard.”

“Who says I won’t?”

Levi glared at him, “You’ve broken so many promises before Erwin and I am privy to almost all of them. You better stick to your word or I’ll be the one to fucking throttle you dead.”

“But I keep my word half the time, don’t I?” Erwin gave him a smirk as Levi’s glare intensified. He laughed a little while later. Sobering, he looked at the paper with a hard gaze. “At the very least the high command would shut up for a while. The dog has been thrown a bone to chew.”

“Don’t throw too much, otherwise they’ll fucking ask for more.”

“Does it say that we should leave today?”

Levi shook his head. “We can leave within the next two days or so. I will have to send a telegram to the high command. We have to arrange the transport and I’ll have to get your uniform. And also do the paperwork to get you discharged.”

“I’m quite sure you can do it in one day.” He smiled at the _oberleutnant_ with a small smile. “I trust you with this, Levi.”

“I’ll talk to the doctors and ensure that you’re alright to be discharged.” With a nod, Erwin saw Levi utter no more words as he left through the doors.

“It seems that you’ll be going soon.” The doors once more danced as he saw a familiar face with a familiar smile, holding a familiar smell of food in a tray. _Frau Bratsche_ settled the food down on the table near him, surrounded by two chairs.

“Yes, well I must make sacrifices because,” He paused as she went and helped him up to the chair. Sitting down, he took a small huff of breath. “Sacrifices are part of my duty.”

“Well, if you say so.” There it was again, her familiar words uttered in a small smile. She lowered herself to the other seat, facing opposite the _rittmeister._ “I hope you like the food in the kitchens today. It’s warm.”

“It’s better than not having food at all.” His orbs turned to gaze at the food. Grabbing the spoon, he dipped the scooping end through the stew and lifted it to his mouth. He nodded. “That’s good.”

“This is my favorite, actually.” She revealed to him as he turned to look at her. He was going to move to give her some but she shook her head in a smile. “No need, I already ate.”

“Isn’t this borscht?” He pointed out as she nodded. “It’s not very much a type of dish enjoyed by the German palate.”

“I’m not exactly German.” She gave him a mysterious smile, causing him to be unsettled. As much as he had become fond of her attitude and her personality, Erwin barely knew anything about her. Not even her real name.

“I wouldn’t know.” He says as he took the bread and stuffed it into his mouth. Chewing it precisely, he swallowed as he admitted. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Oh that’s true.” She laughs as he frowns slightly, causing her to laugh even more. “I suppose I’ve put you into the torture of trying to figure it all out.”

“I’ve had a couple of guesses before, haven’t I? And each time, I said one name you immediately rejected me.”

That had been one of their past times whenever she was changing the bandages on his head. He was the one who made up the game, thinking it would be the most interesting way to get her name. He had three guesses per day and each time he didn’t get it, he had to recite tongue twisters in repeat and the violet eyed nurse would be the one to make up those tongue twisters for him.

Finding it entertaining, she agreed and each time he guessed, he had it all wrong. There probably was no lack of laughter coming from her whenever he had to keep repeating the tongue twisters as they were often so hard to pronounce.

That’s when he discovered she spoke a few languages other than his native German. But of course just as he knew that about her, he earned a couple more questions in his head. Which she probably enjoyed, considering that he was sure she enjoyed mystery.

Of course it did not help that not one member of the staff had answered his appeal for a plea for the _fraulein_ ’s name. He was more than certain she had made sure no one would utter a word to him about it. And in fact people, both staff and patients alike, kept making bets in the hospital on whether the famous pilot ace would be able to finally guess the name or not.

Almost every time a bet was set, the person who would win was a certain Nurse Mikasa Ackerman, who in fact was not related to Levi. Erwin had seen even his men, namely Eren Jaeger, groan in frustration at the constant victory of the oriental looking nurse. But people supposed that it was because she was a close confident to the nurse was the reason she constantly won.

When he had seen her at first, he was speechless about her appearance as it was not every day that he saw someone of the east. But little bits and pieces were much European, especially her way of speaking and the way she acted. However, no one truly cared here and no one asked about her history but rather let her focus on her job as a nurse and do what she could to save men’s lives.

As the time passed, he began to be closer to her as well and often shared her delight in the quiet silence that would exist in the surrounding area of the hospital from time to time. It pleased the purple eyed _fraulein_ that Nurse Mikasa and him get along, though she would not say why.

“Then guess right now.” She told him as she leaned forward, purple orbs glistening brightly in excitement. She had no doubt had a hard one for him. “You have three once more today.”

“Alright.” He took the white napkin, where the utensils rested earlier, and wiped his lips. Leaning backwards, his eyes looked up the white ceiling. Lowering his gaze again at her, he saw her looking curious. “Okay, let’s introduce a clue system.”

She raised a teasing brow, looking at him with superiority. “Oh, does this mean my name is so impossibly hard for you to guess that you desire clues?”

“No, that means it narrows my choices which makes it easier.”

Once more, she leans forward and smirked. “No.”

“I can only question you for a clue once per day. Then you can answer in any way you would like, even if it’s a confusing answer or a joking one.” Erwin suggests despite her refusal. “Then if I use that for my first guess or any other of the three and then fail, I have to guess on my own with the others and if I fail in all three, I still do the tongue twister.”

She paused to think about her proposal.

Then took a sigh.

For a moment, the world stilled.

“All right.” She nodded at him then smiled at him. “Though you must ask me questions that are not going to make everything become too obvious. Vague ones and then I answer and then you make a guess.”

“Very well.” He agreed, looking at his food as he began to think. She spoke good German to him, almost fluently. Furrowing his brows, he tried to remember how she would pronounce certain words. There were differences to how she dictated some words. An accent comes out. It was thick, a little bit rough on the edges as his mind plays the words over and over.

Then it came to him, he smiles. “What’s your opinion on the former Empress Elisabeth of Austria?”

She furrowed her gaze. “The late Empress? I do like her. She was kind and compassionate and I suppose she had been miserable in her life. The empire adored her, especially Hungary but Vienna didn’t. In Hungary, _we_ call her Erzsebet-“

“Erzsebet.”

“What?”

“That’s my guess.” Erwin remarks with a smirk on his face. “That’s your name. I’m sure of it this time.”

“Are you sure you’re not just deluding yourself?”

“Oh please, dear _Bratsche._ Everything is deluding, especially gambling on things.” Putting the spoon up and pointing it at her. “That is my final guess. Now, am I right?

Silence passed them.

Her eyes began to twitch.

She began to groan loudly as he began laughing and clapping his hands.

“I can’t believe I agreed to that!” He was still laughing. “How dare you?”

“We didn’t settle rules on how the game should be played, _fraulein Erszebet_.” He grinned at her as she pouted, stuffing her face onto her palms. He cheered. “Finally, after all this time! I feel as though I’ve just won another great battle.”

“Mikasa will be devastated to hear I failed.”

“But my men would be. Most especially Jaeger. I have no doubt he would be jumping with joy.”

“Well, you’ve guessed it.” She allows her arms to hug her chest. “Now, what do you want as your prize for your good hard work?”

He blinks. “We’ve never settled a prize system. I suppose we forgot to do so.”

“I’m doing this out of my own volition.” She sighed, giving him a small smile towards him. “Now, what will the _rittmeister_ want from this humble nurse named Erzsebet?”

“I-“

The doors busted open.

“It seems you are awake now and completely well.” Erwin almost dropped his spoon at the sound of that familiar tone. His head turning slowly, he saw the same blond hair and the same round glasses that were most known to him in his youth. Levi was behind the blond haired man, glaring at him. “I suppose it has been awhile, hasn’t it dear friend.”

“Zeke.” Was all Erwin could say at the astounding shock that took over him at seeing a long familiar face he wished he had forgotten.

“He hasn’t been your friend for a very long time, you fucking turd.” Levi retorted as the blond doctor laughed. Erzsebet gasped. “You made sure of it, after all.”

“Please don’t say such words here, _oberleutnant_ and have respect for _herr_ Jaeger! He was the one who removed the bullet from _rittmeister_ Smith’s head.”

“It’s quite fine, Erzsi. I’m quite used to the _oberleutnant’_ s harsh words.” He smiled at the dark haired man. “I’m rather fond of him. And of course of the _rittmeister_ here. We were all fond of one another, yes.”

The air was getting thicker in the room. It made her remember that the bitter arguments in their home when she had been around her own brothers. Her brothers were all different and there were three of them. All represented a different ideal and a different hope and a different dream.

They started terrible bitter fights, often ending up in fist fights and a flurry of words turning into a whirlwind hurricane that gathered into betterment and resentment for days and weeks, sometimes even months. Never years. But what she realized in that moment that despite the atmosphere reminding her of her own brothers. She was sure it was quite worse.  The violet eyed woman was quite certain that it was not just a simple boyhood grudge but an even larger one, which she was certain of.

Erzsi was not aware of the things that caused animosity between the three men. Zeke had never told her despite his many opportunities to do so with the stories he tells her about home and his family. But she was sure that it was a big collision course of much terrible experiences enough that causes the horrible situation in this room.

“Cut your curtsies, that doesn’t fucking make a change to who you are, you insufferable-“

“Levi!” Erwin raised his voice as he looked at his friend, his eyes hinting messages to the grey orbs. Levi pursed his lips into a line and nodded. He bowed his head and left the room. “I apologize about Levi.”

His curled lips looked tighter and controlled than before. “I already told you, I’m quite used to him. But I suppose I should give you a standing ovation for your splendid efforts in keeping your men in line.”

Erwin remained silent.

“How were the front line and field hospitals, herr Jaeger?” Erzsebet questioned as Zeke turned to her, giving him a small smile.

“Oh, they were fine. I suppose the methods of bringing them medical attention, which is bliss to see.” He gave her a curt smile. “Erzsi, I haven’t seen you in a while. I hope having to do my work was not a pain to you?”

She shook her head politely, giving him a small smile. “No, I am quite fine. I am more than thankful for the opportunity you have presented me with.”

“Still, I would imagine I had given you a burden.”

“No, no. It was no burden at all.”

“I will treat you to dinner when everything calms down as my thanks.” Zeke tells her. “Of course, it would be after your own deployment.”

She turned to look at him confused. “Deployment?”

He nodded. “Yes. You and handful of other women. The German High Command has given the orders that the _rittmeister_ here will soon be returning to the front. However he and his squadron would need medical assistance with him at all times. Pyrzemsl is quite far from here in Krosno after all, they need a good staff. And since you have formed a rather warm temperament towards the _rittmeister_ , the hospital director has recommended you as their head.”

She blinked a few times. “I, I do not know what to say.”

“Me neither.” He sighed softly as he moved towards her, regardless of Erwin’s gaze at him, and took her hand with a squeeze. His other hand took to his pocket and handed her a folded piece of paper “I wouldn’t have the heart to send you away in danger, _liebling_ but alas it is a command and you must follow. But now, this is the list of the women you ought to take with you.”

“I...I suppose then that I need to inform them that we must pack and make some arrangements.”

“That you must do.”

“Forgive me, _rittmeister.”_ She stood up and turned to bow at the captain. Her lips were in a flat line. She was worried about leaving them both alone in one room. “I will see you later, sir.”

“Of course.” Erwin gave her a weak smile. “Thank you for your company, _frau Bratsche_.”

At the sound of a closing door, they were then alone.

“I’m not surprised you already have a nickname for her. Quick to be fond of her, I see.” Zeke snorted as Erwin gazed up to him, as if trying to remind himself that this was reality. “Well, I suppose you’ve always been good with words, haven’t you?”

 “I should say the same thing to you.” Erwin retorted back to the blond doctor calmly. “You shortened her name _and_ called her darling all at once.”

“It’s easier than always calling her Erzsebet all the time. And she doesn’t mind my affection. We’re rather close.” The doctor’s dark blond brow had risen in amusement. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“No, I am not.” The captain took a deep breath. But something on his tongue did not sit well with his reply. “I didn’t know her name before, she refused to give it. I needed something to polite to call her.”

“Well, you’ve succeeded in the polite part.” The doctor made a face which made his brows rise up in intrigue. “ _Bratsche_ , though?”

“The same shade of her eyes. You do know my estates are littered with _bratsche_ flowers. My mother liked them, if you could remember.” Zeke nodded at his statement.

“I apologize for not being able to greet you after you woke. As I said earlier, they needed more doctors at the front.” He says as he took to his pocket, taking out his cigarettes. “Of course, I don’t have the want to see you at all.”

“I prayed for the same thing however I suppose here we are.” Erwin replied back as the doctor handed him a cigarette. “I only smoke French ones.”

“Lucky for you, these are French.” Erwin took the cigarette from the blond doctor, who took out his lighter to bring flame to the cigarettes. Erwin brought his to his mouth. “I still have my contacts from there.”

Erwin’s gaze hardened. “Oh, you still have those troublesome friends of yours.”

“And why should you care?”

“I have to care,” Erwin says, puffing out smoke. “Because if no one else will, then the outcome will be as I had guessed. And it’s not a favorable one.”

Zeke looked at him with a smug smirk. “Oh? What a loyal soldier you are.”

“It has been my duty to keep order as I see fit, as honor sees it fit.”

 “You have always had the most laughable of words. No one is surely and truly innocent, you and I both know that.” Zeke laughed bitterly. “You have seen it for your own two eyes over and over again, have you not?”

“My views on the matter have not changed.” Erwin inhaled the smoke deeply once more, adjusting his position on the chair. His leg felt uncomfortable. “Your way will never be the most just thing.”

“You always talk about doing things in a just manner but greed and pride has spat on that since the war has begun.” The blond doctor glared at the man with a hint of distaste. “Your way will only bring havoc and darkness. The time is now to change that.”

“Do you know why your way has never worked?” Erwin asks the blond doctor as he raised a brow at him. “Because there are people who see more good than the wrongs you have been so obsessed with.”

“Oh, and you would know?”

“Yes.” Erwin sighed, drowning in the state of ash and smoke. “Because unlike you, I have seen it. And I haven’t closed my eyes to it, unlike you.”

Zeke laughed in his former friend’s face, the cigarette still trapped on his lips. “A doomed virtue till the end, I see.”

“So be it, then.” The clear blue skies glared at the clear blue sea, the pilot nodded at the doctor. “I suppose I owe you my thanks, at least this final time.”

“We are even now, Erwin.” Zeke retorted back to him, his hands tucked into his white coat’s pockets. “I owe you nothing anymore.”

“So it would seem.”

“I’ve read the medical reports on the hole on your head when I was washing up.”

“You read weeks of data in one go?”

“You know I’ve always been good at what I do.” Zeke gave a small smile at the squad captain. Though Erwin was no longer sure if it was genuine. “Now, the hole is closing, rather slowly. But it’s making progress. I’d advice that you to take more rest.”

“I suppose that keeps me on the ground, then.”

Zeke sighed. “Not necessarily. You could go back. I’ve seen nothing that hinders your ability to see or your ability to think. You still have perfect control with your nerves, yes?”

“I suppose, yes.” The pilot confirmed. He was quite sure that the noble doctor’s advice was a great suggestion for death. “Though, the only obstacle is Levi. I swore that I wouldn’t fly until it’s completely healed.”

“You will probably find that absolutely impossible in this war.”

“That’s true.” Erwin gave a small nod at the doctor. “We’ll see what happens.”

“It would be your choice in the end.” Zeke could feel his glasses getting more clouded by the smoke. “Besides, you’ll have Erzsi and her group of nurses. They’ll be doing fine in caring for you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Then I’ll sign the release papers as soon as they get it.” Zeke informed him as he turned his back for the doors. “You depart for the front as soon as the paperwork and the necessary arrangements are done, if I am correct?”

He nodded at him. “Yes, on a train. There are still equipment and personal belongings to move of course. But as soon as it could be arranged, of course we will be back. But knowing Levi, he would get it done quicker than anyone else.”

“All the better for me, I suppose.” Zeke took a small breath of the grey smoke. “I’m warning you now. You better not do anything to harm or upset Erszi.”

“I would never do anything to harm her or even upset her.” Erwin quickly rebutted. “Or upset her. I’m fond of her.”

“She is not Marie, Erwin.” The steps of the blond doctor’s feet moved away in small strides. “Remember that.”

“I know.” Erwin spoke in the quiet of the room. “She’s nothing more to me but a friend and a nurse. Nothing more.”

“Good.”

Then he was alone.

He took the breath of one last huff of the French cigarette.

He was no longer hungry.

 


	4. Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was little to no honor to this war.  
> I remember seeing men die at my command.  
> Hundreds upon hundreds, thousands upon thousands,  
> I felt almost like a monster, a butcher.  
> Levi often remarked that what we did had no honor.  
> You share those beliefs of his, I know.  
> You often tell me at every moment you could.  
> But you do not see me as a monster,  
> Something I have laughed at constantly.  
> In fact, you said I still had some shred of honor in me.  
> But at times, I find that hard to believe.  
> Knowing I've traded one hell for another.
> 
> -Erwin Smith to Nurse Erzsebet, 1917.

CHAPTER IV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _“  Honor  “_

**IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THAT ALL THE STAFF OF DOCTORS, NURSES, SURGEONS AND OTHERS WOULD EAT TOGETHER.** This had been made in effect from the very beginning since the war had broken out in this front a few years before. From what Erzsi had gathered in her time here, it had always been this way, may it be breakfast, lunch, supper and dinner, everyone was packed into the canteen together to eat.

The patients, who were made up of a diverse culture of soldiers and civilians in different wards of the building, would have eaten already and would probably rest and bond together with some games and conversations. This frees the staff to have their meals and their break from the constant work they do. After all, the staff of doctors, nurses, surgeons and care takers barely had times to themselves. Most of their time would be to tend to their patients, to give them comfort with their worries and pains both physically and mentally.

Not that Erzsi was complaining. It was all their duty to be devoted to aiding their patients. That’s why most of the people were here in the first place. Many of them hailed from all parts of the world to be here, even as far off as the coasts of the United States. It was quite a wonder to think that any single one of them even understood any of their fellow nurses or doctors.

In fact, many of them share one language and it was not even English, but it was French and she was among those who could speak it. Erzsi was not surprised at that.  Many governments still implemented the language as the language of business and governance. Not to mention there were many here were from various regions of France and Switzerland.

The others who could speak it used it as a second language or have studied in France and for those who did not speak the language; they were helped by people who spoke their own native tongue by translating for them. But of course as the staff often spoke to the soldiers and the civilians in their own languages or a language that they could understand. That was why she spoke German to the _rittmeister_ , not knowing if he spoke any other language but his native one.

Erzsi was rather thankful by the fact that she had listened to her language lessons when she was being taught by her tutor. She used to say that it would be no use to her. Only French, German, English and Hungarian were enough. But alas she was wrong about it in the end. 

She took a moment to take in the scene of peaceful harmony.

A small look of awe and joy.

Erzsi had decided that she was quite honored to have served with all of these people. All of them had been born from all different places, many places which are now at war with one another. They could have been joining the effort to fight and avenge things that they had lost and the things that had hurt them and their countrymen. Instead, they all chose differently. They chose to work together and save lives, make someone’s lives better than the ones that had already gone and perished.

But then she frowned.

Erzsi had tried to memorize each and every face as they smiled and laugh, as they spoke and moved. Their lives are just as much in danger as the ones who were fighting. She wondered how many of them would end up dead and gone for doing what they thought was right.

Her lips formed into a line.

She then turned to her table.

How many of them will she lose?

How many of them will be gone tomorrow or the next day or the day after that?

How many good people will die next?

She decides to eat.

She takes a pause.

Erzsi turned to try and spot a familiar face with blond hair and round rimmed glasses. But she did not find him.

“Where is doctor Jaeger?” She asked Mikasa curiously, noticing the oriental woman startled slightly from her sudden words. “I would have expected him to be here despite being tired.”

“He ate earlier.” Mikasa replied to her. “He said he hasn’t sleep in the past few days. There were quite a lot of people that needed medical assistance from where he came from.”

“I see.” She nodded at her and smiles apologetically. “I’m sorry for startling you, Mikasa. I was just worried for him.”

“It’s quite fine, I understand why you worry for him.” The young black haired woman offered a small smile. “He’s one of your friends here, isn’t he?”

She returns the soft kindness with her own small smile. “That he is. I do hope that he gets some rest. He deserves it.”

“Yes, he does.”

Their table was devoured by the conversation between the two other staff nurses with them. The purple eyed woman and the black haired woman listened intently to the other two. It was about the patient they had taken care of last night during supper had started fighting over something.

It had been one Russian soldier and a German one and were arguing about the amount of vodka they deserve as one of the family members of a discharged patient thanked them with vodka, which they gave to some patients as comfort. It ended up in a brawl, between a blinded man from gas and a badly injured soldier from the front.

It had been hilarious, not because of their disabilities, but because of the miscommunication that led from it as neither spoke the other’s language. Of course, they said that they handled the situation well enough that everyone got the same amount of vodka.

Though they had listened to their fellow nurses tell stories and talk, Erzsi and Mikasa did not speak any longer than they have to and merely nodded. Both of them chased the heat of the warm food, not delighted with the idea of eating something cold and uninviting. Of course, it isn’t all the time that they would get warm food but they do value it when it is there. To them, it was a small calling of home.

“The canteen hall is noisy today.” Mikasa exclaimed to the blonde haired woman a few moments later as she turned to the people behind their table, muttering and huddling together. “What is with them?”

“Oh, they’re curious about _rittmeister_ Smith’s men being around.” Petra von Rallenstein smiled at them as she dipped her spoon into the porridge.  “The other nurses are specifically most curious....there are many handsome men in the squadron after all.”

“Hmm, they’re annoying.” Sasha Blouse groaned as she took a bite of her sliced apples. “I want to eat quietly! To drown myself into the food!”

“What’s wrong with her?” Erzsi turned to the black haired woman in a whisper. “Usually she’s glad and chatty at lunch.”

“The patient she was taking care of before lunch kept asking her to do things for her.” Mikasa whispered to the white haired woman, who blinked. “She had to run around the hospital to satisfy him, I imagine she would grow tired.”

“Oh dear, I do hope she didn’t blow up in this face.”

“That’s not Sasha, you know. She’d stuff her mouth with food to forget about it all.” Erzsi laughed quietly. “I suppose she’ll be glad she won’t have to be here for a while.”

“Yes, that’s true.” The purple eyed woman nodded. “We’ll be in Przemyśl for a while, under the Jasta SAT 1.”

It came as a shock at high command would send a command to a privately funded hospital to give the squadron of Erwin Smith a few female nurses to come with them as they move to the city of Przemyśl to be near the Russian front.

There would have been nurses and doctors in there who were serving under the German and Austro-Hungarian jurisdiction after all. Erzsi was surprised to find out that _leutnant_ Hange Zoe was a doctor and studied in France and so was the official staff doctor as well as head engineer.

It made her very important to all of them, which is why Erwin had denied her of having her own plane in great fear that she would die. Of course, bases were not safe from attacks but it was better to keep her on land than keep her in an aircraft that could crush and burn her alive. This is why all they needed now were nurses, which the hospital had already granted by allowing four of them to go to Przemyśl with them.

“I still can’t believe we have to go to Pryzemsl though.” Petra says almost suddenly as she looked at her food, looking down. She must be thinking about her family in Vienna. “I’m already far from home. Must I be even further?”

Petra von Rallenstein had been missing home for a very long time as after all, she had volunteered to be a nurse since the war even began and was sent here. She had lied about her age when she was asked. But only few of them know that she had just turned eighteen.

Her parents had been worried sick for her when they found out where she was. She was their only daughter after all and their youngest child. However, they eventually relented when she said that she wanted to be of help to the people in the front.

Especially as her own two brothers, Gunther and Eld were serving in the Austro- Hungarian army against the Italians and her betrothed was sent to fight in the trenches of France. In spite of her feeling homesick, she decided to stay and do her duty. Something Erzsi had greatly admire her for.

“I’m sure that the war would end soon.” Sasha smiled softly at the light haired woman. Sasha had always been hopeful at the idea of peace. She after all would want nothing more than to eat far better food when she returns to her family. “Then we would see our families!”

“You are too hopeful.” Mikasa says in a mumble and Sasha heard her completely. “They all said the war was going to end in months. It’s been years, so I would not be so optimistic about peace.”

“It’s better than wallowing ourselves to the pit of despair!” Sasha pouted as she looked down on her plate. “That way, I wouldn’t have to worry about...”

Erzsi gave her a small sympathetic look. Sasha had not been hearing from her family in the other side of the border, the kingdom of Poland, in a few weeks. Sasha had been waiting patiently every day for news but there has been no news for her.

After all, she had a big family. Her mother and father were both a little older and probably could not keep up with the younger children. With many brothers and sisters, especially most being younger, she worried for their safety every single day.

“Mikasa, have you received a letter from them yet?” Erzsi asked in a whisper to the black haired woman beside her as their table grew quiet. “I was hoping that...”

Mikasa turned her gaze low as she shook her head. “No, I had not gotten anything yet. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Erzsi muttered in reply as she thought about him. “It’s fine.”

“I miss them too.” The oriental woman whispered in the silence as Erzsi sighed.

“Me too.” The purple eyed woman had felt her appetite leave her. She forced a smile to her lips as she faced her fellow nurses. “Cheer up now. At the very least we won’t have to have a headache from the many requests of the men here.”

“I suppose that’s something.” Petra gave a small smile. “And perhaps even some sleep?”

They all groaned in agreement.

“I think we all need that.” Erzsi smiled back at her as their spIrits began to lift up. “Now we better hurry eating. We are leaving in a few hours.”

The food had gotten cold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **ERWIN HAD BEEN CORRECT TO HAVE HAD ASSUMED THAT LEVI ACKERMAN WOULD FINISH EVERYTHING WITHIN TWO DAYS**.  A hectic day no doubt where rest had not been a popular demand. Not that Levi would entirely mind. Since this entire war broke out, none of them has had an inch of proper sleep. There had been times when Erwin and Levi would wonder if their habits on the bed had improved from just staying awake and staring at the ceiling to actually closing their eyes and having some sense of sleeps without the dreams.

However, they have failed to sleep more times than they can count and it was times like these, they can be thankful for because this is when they are kept busy by the great affairs of war. Otherwise, they’d just be wasting their time laying down their heads for absolutely nothing. At least in this fashion, they’re doing their duty.

But he supposes he had gotten Levi beat as he had slept for almost a month after his fall at the enemy’s bullet.

Erwin had known the dark haired man since the youth they once had. The way they had met had been quite a joyous gathering but even as a young boy, his friend had been too serious and stern, blunt and honest with such dry and uncanny humor, almost a mirror to his own personality for the most part. But he supposed that he had changed more than he had expected based on the captain’s observances.

It had been something that Erwin had hoped for his good friend than anything in the world.

After all he had been through, he probably deserved it.

But there was one thing Erwin had been glad had not changed about his dear friend.

That was his ability to get things done.

That is probably one of the best reasons why he had promoted Levi immediately in his command as soon as he had his own squadron despite some criticism within the officer staffs. The high command after all did not like his friend or even understood him. But Erwin sees something in him that no one does.

Levi Ackerman may have not been the best at making speeches or the best at making gentle words and gestures towards other people but he got the job done, knowing that it was of grave importance that he succeeded in getting results. Especially in such a time of great need. Especially in the middle of a great war that has so far affected everyone at all parts of this mad world.

And Erwin was not disappointed.

Levi had pulled through with his plan, as he always does.

“I don’t see the point of wearing these fucking pieces of medal.” Levi murmured with an edge of bitterness as he watched his captain put each and every medal on with great care. “We get these medals for being butchers.”

“Butchers are sometimes necessary for a brighter future, that’s why we exist.” Erwin replies quietly as he puts carefully wraps the medal’s ribbon across his neck, firmly tying it around. His plain field-grey great coat thoroughly going through his arms and shoulders. The red lined collar then hid the ribbon, showing only the Blue Max with its shining glory. Soon, he carefully adjusted his belt buckle through his waist, fitting it perfectly and giving enough space for him to breathe. “Isn’t that why we became soldiers? This is the greatest honor for all of us.”

“That doesn’t change what we are. We are still fucking murders.” The dark haired officer glared at his own medal with great disgust. “I don’t understand why I had to go receive these fucking things, especially from the Kaiser and his goons.”

"You didn't have to follow me, you know." Erwin whispered to his friend. "You could have had many choices without regret in them."

The dark haired man took a deep shallow breath. "Now who would keep you out of trouble, you stupid fool? You're not exactly good at keeping yourself alive with good decisions."

The blue eyed captain choked in a laugh. "I suppose so."

"I don't regret following you, you should know that by now." The grey eyed man's orbs shone through the sun's bright gleam. "But what we do, it's the most disgusting thing. They tell us not to regret because we bring honor to the fatherland. But you and I both know that is a lie. Regret can never be suppressed, no matter what you convince yourself to believe."

Silence engulfed them.

Levi had received quite a lot of honors from the years he had joined in the military with Erwin, though of course not enough in Erwin's opinion. But Levi had utterly and openly said his disgust about the matter of being honored for killing men who had just been forced to serve their country. Beaming on his own officer's uniform, Erwin could make out the figures of these honors. The _Eisernes Kreuz, 2 Klasse_ or the Iron Cross, Second Class for his service almost two years before in the beginning of the war. The glistening _Goldenes Militar-Veridienstkreuz_ or the Golden Military Merit a few months before he and Erwin had asked to be moved away from the Western front. And the most important of all, the _Pour le Merite_ known in German as the _Verdienstorden_ , given to soldiers who are considered to be greatest military personnel due to their merit, was wrapped on his neck, tightly like a rope on a pipe was only given to him a mere few months ago after his sixth aerial victory.

Erwin had been the one who had made sure that Levi always went to receive his medals in person, going with him to ensure that he had actually gotten it. Levi had nearly thrown the Iron Cross into the river when he received it and started to curse in German about how useless this war is. Erwin had managed to keep Levi from doing it again and making sure that he did not have disciplinary action for such words. 

But deep down, Erwin knew that this was not the way he would have wanted to receive praise too. Germany had been fine without wars. They've thrived in the past few years of building this new brotherhood of nations into just one unified union. Erwin however knew that peace isn't always the catalyst of the nation's greatness. The other was war. The Kaiser was a man who was ruled by ambition and had been more wanting of greatness unlike any other. He surrounded himself with men who uttered war and iron and blood but the blond haired officer knew that it was leading everything into turmoil. So many men had already died in this war, even just the beginning of it, he saw men die by the thousands for little to no gain.

But this was the world he had been bred into, the world many generations of his family had fought and died for, believed and lived for.

He understood from the beginning that he too must do what he can. He knows that in the end, all he could do was pretend to be delighted for it and accept it on behalf of those who had already been lost. It does not redeem him from the terrible things he has done but perhaps it may be the only way he could justify it to himself and his doubts. For Levi was once more correct. Regret can never be repressed because it will just be as present as the honor you wish to bring to your nations. Just as much as the blood and death and carnage that come with it.

All over his uniform had glistened shining mountains of medals for his service for many years both prior and during this Great War. Something many of his other distant family members had been proud of every time they meet at family occasions at his father’s estate after the honor is awarded to him. It had always been a bright affair for his family, considering that they had been a tree that grew out of the blood and death that had created the new German empire. Just like his fore-bearers, Erwin had brought honor to his family's name and they were proud of it. His lips felt dried as it pierced into a flat line. He could recall receiving all these honors and how he felt. He clearly recalls the feeling of receiving the first one up until the recent one.

Receiving his first medal for him had been a great honor; the recent one to him had only brought a sign of grave sorrow.

His first one had been awarded to him when he entered the military for the first time. The _Allgemeines Ehrenzeichen_ or the General Honor Decoration when he had been eighteen for a service the state thought had been worthy of receiving such a medal for. His second honor was at the great skirmish he had commanded against the French, the Military Honor Medal, or the _Militar Ehrenzeichen_ in the latter parts of the first year of war, the circular medal pinned to him with grace. His _Eisernes Kreuz, 1 Klasse_ or his Iron Cross, first class, smiled at him with great pride as it was the third honor he had received from his command at the front at France, this time against the British. And finally the _Pour le Merite_ wrapped around his neck, glistening in its prideful blue, which he received for his fourth aerial victory more than a few months before against the Russians here within the Eastern Front.

There he stood at the mirror.

He looked sick at his face.

“I think that’s more than enough.” Erwin exclaimed, finishing with his coat’s buttons. He digs through his grey colored trousers, finding his pocket watch. Something he had inherited from his mother. He looked to Levi. “We are running late.”

“High command always likes to keep time tables in order, don’t they?” Levi stood, taking his officer’s cap from the side of his chair.

“A quick action sometimes wins the war.” Erwin takes a look at his officer’s cap, field woolen grey with the heavy dark visor and the red cap band across the middle representing his position as an officer and two buttons with different colors shined, one in the upper grey and the other in the lower red band. “A very important lesson we have learnt and the Austrians have merely started to learn.”

His officer’s cap had been something he had been proud of before when he had received it a few years back. Of course, it was not the first cap he had received when he had joined the military prior to the war. But it was something that represented to him, in the beginning, of his love for his country. Time went on and the meaning changed entirely. Especially when he had worn it once covered in the blood of his own men. The first button shined the colors of the German empire, beaming and strong oriented with the black, white and red. The second one was to represent the colors of their regional states or kingdoms. In this case, both he and Levi shared the same ones, black and white, for the kingdom of Prussia. Hange had blue and white for the colors of the kingdom of Bavaria and Moblit had red and white for the Grand Duchy of Hesse.

Not that he can wear it right now.

He still was injured in the head.

Though, he would have not worn it at all.

“Tch, I suppose we’re lucky. The Austrians are having a harder time considering all their train tracks have different mechanisms when we only have one.”

Erwin gave a small smile. “Well, look at you being optimistic.”

“Shut the fuck up and take your stuff.”

“All loaded out of the room and into the car.” Levi gave a small nod as he carefully placed his officer’s cap on his head and led the way out of the chambers with Erwin following, his own cap resting against his arm. Levi can say he hates everything about this but Erwin wanted to point out loud at his desire to still look as punctual and clean as ever in his uniform.

Erwin had to admit, he was delighted to be outside to walk after he thanked everyone of the staff that had been attentive to not only his needs but for all the soldiers who are all here who are cared for with the best of their abilities.

Sure he had gone to the garden and the court yard to get some fresh air and the bright sun but he had been forced to sit down and had to leave a half an hour later to rest. But now, nothing was stopping him now from being a little active here and there. Despite the occasional headaches and the overprotective Levi, he thought this to be a small personal victory.

“Look at Jaeger and Arlert.” Levi says as they stopped by the black open window vehicle.“They’re with that oriental nurse.”

“Ah, nurse Ackerman.” Erwin nodded with acknowledgement. “Yes, I know of her. She’s very close to _frau Bratsche_?”

“ _Bratsche_?” The brow was raised in question. “Are you referring to your nurse? Erwin, she has a name.”

“Yes, I am aware of that.” Erwin wanted to avoid speaking about that. “But why are you asking me to look at Jaeger and Arlert?”

“The way she’s looking at Jaeger, don’t you think it’s as if she’s in love with him?”

It was his time to furrow his brows in question as he turned to look at the three. Eren spoke casually with a small smile and Armin spoke with great enthusiasm. But Mikasa Ackerman stood with great silence and a shy smile, her beautiful black orbs gazing at Eren with a hint of soft affection. He had remembered seeing all of them speak before in the many weeks he had stayed here. He would not have any doubt that they would have had some time to get acquainted.

But he was not aware of how nurse Ackerman looked at his squadron member in such a manner this quickly. A manner which he was no doubt could cause a breaking of many things. It was the same way he had looked at Marie before she had wed someone else. Perhaps he still looks at her that way. A part of him emphasized with her.  That is not what is meant for her, he thinks, just as Marie had not been for him.

He could pinpoint this sorrowful act to Zeke’s selfishness, Erwin thought. Zeke had always pushed what he had wanted onto others and did not stop until he got the results he wanted. Because of that, he left his brother to have a marriage he perhaps did not desire and lands and titles he had never wished for.

It was another reason he had hated the man. He was just glad that the bastard slept through the two days after his tiring work in the field. At the very least, Erwin could hope it would be the last time he’ll see him.

“That’s not something you declare something, Levi. It just might be of fondness or to some great extent, some kind of admiration.”

“That’s not what I see.”

“Even if you say that it’s hypothetically that option, then it is still not possible. Eren is the heir of his father. He comes from a highly influential family. There is no way he can break off his betrothal to Historia Reiss. That would be an idiotic move considering how powerful the Reiss are back in the homeland.”

“You and your nobility bullshit.” Levi mumbled as he walked away, informing Erwin that he was going to make sure everything was there.

He had wanted to speak with Erzsebet again, having not spoken to her in the two days that had been too eventful for him. He had wanted to apologize for burdening her with having to move in a dangerous zone near the battlefield in order to attend to him along with her fellow nurses.

She had a more important thing going on for her here in the hospital and not to mention how safer it is for her to stay here. It had not been attacked before, considering it was one of the very few hospitals that treated all nationalities of soldiers and civilians. Their ranks of nurses, doctors, surgeons and staff only perish when they are needed in the battlefield or near it.

Guilt and fear started to crowd in him for her sake. He is putting her life in danger by bringing her there. Erwin cared for her deeply, having developed a bond with her which he had with very few people. He did not want her to perish terribly because of him. She was a good and kind human being. She deserved more than this.

But he did not see her.

Not until they had all boarded the trains.

He had been sitting alone a few hours into the trip. Levi had gone to the other carriage to get some of his naps while the others have either spent some time to talk and engage with the people in the train. Erwin had not been in the mood however was not in the mood to bring his mask up to his face. He wanted to be alone.

It wasn’t until she had come that he had been lifted from his somber mood.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you, _rittmeister_.” Erzsi spoke softly as she closed the carriage door behind her. In her hand was a box of her medical needs. “I merely wanted to look at the wound and the bandages.”

“Oh, of course.” He nodded as he urged her to come. She settled the kit on the table. “And please call me by my given name.”

“It would not be respectful.”

“It would stop you from being so formal with me when we have become common folk with one another.”

Erzsi grinned as she began to inspect his bandaged head. “Then shall I call you the demon of the East?”

Erwin looked at her as she grinned even wider. It had been one of the many names the press had made for him, much to his delight. Hange and Levi had gone around before to tease him with it, at times even his many other pilots did the same when they all drank together to forget the day's work. He shook his head carefully and smiled. She deemed it necessary to change the bandage, to which he gave her free reign to do.

“It’s a great title, is it not?” She tried to find where she had tied the bandage before. “As if they are boasting that you had conquered the East.”

“A great miscalculation on their part, I do not conqueror.”

“Oh? And what do you do?”

“I only fly.” He looked out the window, gazing at the birds in the sky. His answer was what he wished he could feel was truthful. In reality, he was just as much a butcher as he was in the trenches of France. “That’s it.”

“That’s not how the capital sees it, though.” She removes the bandages completely, showcasing the healing crater on his head. She briefly points to his medals. “They see you as if you are the eagle on the empire’s symbols. Look at all these things they had honored you with.”

“Indeed....but at times, it doesn’t feel like that.”

“How so?” She takes a small piece of the cotton buds and opened a bottle of alcohol. She dips it in and dabs it, releasing the excessive amounts. Closing the lid, she carefully pats it through the wound. “You are perhaps more beloved than any other soldier or pilot in the empire.”

“I feel lost at times.” Erwin admits to her, the sting of the alcohol echoing. “It is always an honor to bring greatness to your homeland but....often times, I just wonder...”

“If it’s worth doing?” She tries to supply for him.

He sighs. “Medals are the greatest honor and yet sometimes they feel like chains.”

“I suppose I could feel the same.” His eyes raised itself, giving her a questioning look. “I’ve received honors before.”

He looked surprised. “Truly?”

She nodded, continuing to clean his wound. “I volunteered as soon as the war broke out. I received some from the governments. But I don’t like to wear them.”

“Because they feel like chains?”

“Because they feel worthless.” She finishes cleaning the wound and moves on to wrap a new clean bandage upon it. She gazed at him with an intense gaze. “I’ve seen too many things that make me question what all of these things are for.”

“I could say the same.” He whispers in response, invoking after the silence between them. “I suppose the only reason to wear it now is in honor of those that had gone and died.”

“If you say so.” She replied silently, knotting the wound properly. Although not too tightly. She had no intension to make him bleed to death. “There, all done.”

“Thank you.”

After sanitizing her hands, she began to clear her things and the other bandage. “Is there anything else you need from me before I leave?”

“Yes.” He nodded at her as she continued her movements. “I would like to apologize to you.”

“For what?” She ceased her movements to gift him a questioning gaze. “You did not offend me.”

“No, it’s not that...I... I would like to apologize for having to bring you and your fellow nurses on such a dangerous place. I know it is your duty but you all are going to be placed in such situations-“

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Erzsi took a moment to grasp his hand, placing hers on top of his. “The German High Command had asked this of us and we obliged and are willing to serve.”

She squeezed his hand. “It is an honor to be able to be able to do our job alongside you.”

For a moment, Erwin could only be mesmerized by the look on her face. The way her eyes shined made him feel something inside.

“If you say so.” He retorted back to her in reply, causing her to be caught of guard for a moment. But then she starts laughing and soon he does too. When they have calmed, he says, “I’m sorry for laughing. You were saying something so heartfelt but all I could say was that.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine. I just never expect you to say that to me in return.”

“But I did.” He grinned at her. “Perhaps it could be the first word of our new language?”

“A new language?” Erwin nodded. “Made out of phrases taken from known words?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time someone invented a language out of a language.”

“Very well.” She says, removing her hand from his. Erwin felt the loss of warmth, albeit not completely. She smiles at him. “How about we start when I finish clearing this all up?”

He gave her a big genuine smile. She felt the warmth in her bones.

“All right then.”

 


	5. Jasta SAT 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I was scarred by my experiences in  
> the deep damp trenches of France.  
> Thus when the opportunity presented itself,  
> I thought I'd put my flying experiences to good use.  
> I convinced high command that I could win the war,  
> By looking down from my plane and making certain  
> that we have the advantage against the enemy.  
> Our morale would surely soar high to the endless skies.  
> That's how the Sondermission und Aufklärungsflieger  
> Truppe was born through a hard won gamble I put together.  
> And for the rest of my life, I will be proud of it.  
> I will be proud of each and everyone of you.  
> You are honorable people who follow morality  
> over the cold butchery of the men in the trenches.  
> You are the good gentle soldiers of the sky.  
> You are Germany's wings of freedom.  
> And I am your commanding officer and that I shall be  
> for the rest of my days on this earth.  
> No matter where all of you end up, I will be there to  
> support you all in what you wish to do.  
> Für den Kaiser und für das Vaterland!'
> 
> -Rittmeister Erwin Smith, addressing his pilots. (1917)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to change the city of their new location from Lemberg to Przemysl because I decided to introduce Nile's character briefly here as the commander of Przemysl fortress and strategically sound in my head, it would be a better location than Lemberg/Lviv. Since he will be in the next chapter, it's kinda better to do a little hint this way. So, I edited that from the other chapters, so I hope no one gets confused! 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter :))

CHAPTER V

 

 

 

 

> _“   Jasta SAT 1 "_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**THEY FINALLY ARRIVED IN PRZEMYSL AFTER A FEW DAYS OF WEARY TRAVEL THROUGH THE BRIEF IMAGES OF THE MANY CITIES, TOWNS AND VILLAGES OF THE GALICIAN LANDS.** Everywhere they went there were scattered soldiers through the torn and battered villages, exhausted by the two years of war that had ravaged the poorest region of the empire to such a terrible state.  Galicia may have had many important cities and towns to the empire however much were undeveloped and poor. Erzsi could not help but feel bad for the disasters this part of the empire has had to suffer for the death of one man.

Though through it all, from the glass windows of the magnificent train carriage she saw that at that moment it was filled with quiet peace and quite a lot of smiling people waiting for them. Erzsebet was not expecting such a welcome but the soldiers from both Germany and the Austrian lands and Galicia’s civilians alike seemed to know that the man inside the train’s carriage was a hero of the united forces of both empires.

Many of Erwin’s staff had urged him not to go outside to great the people in fear that he would be assassinated by a Russian sniper but Erwin insisted that he must go out at the end of the train to at the very least give a few greetings to the soldiers and the people of Galicia, to keep them from losing hope and keep fighting on against the mass of the enemy and all the other threats that could come after the Russian bears.

The arguments went back and forth, especially from the _rittmeister’_ s greatest officers on board _leutnant_ Zoe and _oberleutnant_ Ackerman. In fact, the dark haired _oberleutnant_ was so riled up with Erwin that he started cursing. But Erwin did not falter and soon forced the train’s conductor to lower the speed of the train so he could address all the people.

And to her astonishment, they all waved back and smiled at him. They would ask for him to defeat the enemy and bring glory to the fatherland. Some urged him to avenge much of their losses to the Russians. Erwin was quite aware that words were wind but he would not dare allow the moral of the men to be brought down.

He would rather give them words of encouragement than to let them lose hope. Perhaps even if there is none for some poor soul out there mourning, he knew he had to give it. Hope was the only thing that kept the people of both empires to stand their ground and fight. If that was lost, they could lose more than their hopes and pride.

It’s perhaps all he could do for them at the moment.

Especially with him grounded from the air, he needed something to do. It would be a few more weeks before he could hope to even return to his cockpit. This means they would have to force aerial battles without him beside them in the air.

Erwin has thought about it but with the new recruits replacing the long lost experienced pilots he had worked with before, he could only instruct them from below and not above. He would be expected to work even harder to drill into their heads his teachings and virtues before heading up there alone.

The train picked up steam about half an hour later which calmed everyone down and allowed them to still arrive on schedule. After all, the schedule is another factor that wins wars. The earlier he arrives, the better.

When they arrived, they were welcomed by the army staff that was in charge of the defense of the city. Erwin shook hands with the staff officer in charge, _major_ Kruger and exchanged a few pleasant words with him before the _rittmeister_ introduced his staff officers to Kruger. But almost immediately the blond haired man decided to move onto the matter at hand and how well positioned his squadron was within the city and within the reach of enemy trenches. Kruger spoke very briefly but as he did he managed to allow Erwin to see the bigger picture of the situation and there were opportunities where Levi and Hange asked things which the dark eyed man responded to with great bluntness.

Erzsebet did not want to hear them talk of their warring business. There was already too much of that she has heard in the few years of her service. One could only be fed up with hearing it constantly. But there was one more thing that she was far wearier of: the journalists.

She did not hate them per say. They are people who help those from far and beyond to find out what is going on. Ignorance may be bliss but truth could not be ignored forever. That is what the journalists seek and she agrees with that. But the way it has been morphed into the terrible circumstances of this already long and tiring war.

The Hungarian woman pursed her lips as all of them were in flurry of competing voices showered through the presence of the magnificent most famous man in the empire, the light flashing over and over again as the machine captured the features of the handsome blond blue eyed pilot, smiling so kindly and warmly towards the crowd.

She could feel her stomach churn at the thought of the pilot giving a few words to the men as they wrote it down quickly into their crisped thick paper, no doubt using it to fuel the nationalist fervor to continue a war no one wanted but those in the height of the edge of great power. The truth had been manipulated for far too long into the dark miserable lies that the higher ups want the masses to believe, even if it is far from the honesty of reality.

“Are you alright, _frau_ Erzsebet?” The sapphire eyed young man asked as he carried the baggage through the pathway. Erzsi saw the concern in his eyes. “You seem a little distraught.”

“It’s nothing,” She replies softly as the young man notices where she was staring. “I’m a little weary, that’s all.”

“The only time that they didn’t surround him was when he was in the hospital.” Erzsi looked at him with a questioning gaze. “That was the only time he got a break from it all. High command didn’t want him to be seen in the middle of his pain.”

“But they’re bringing him back to the front too early.”

“I suppose the fatherland is desperate to get the people delighted.” Eren suggested as Erzsi tried to help him with the luggage but he prevented her from reaching it. She gave him a look. “I’ll carry it, mam. It’s my job.”

“Still...” He gives her a small smile and carried the luggage into the trunk.

“The _rittmeister_ has always been willing to do anything to help the fatherland, mam.” The young man continued his words from before. “He’s served the country for a long while now, mam and having only served a year and a half under him, it’s easy to understand that he’s completely the servant of the fatherland.”

Erzsebet felt her lips turn into a frown as she hugged her arms above her chest. “I see..”

_‘But how long would that last before it breaks him like any other man I’ve seen before?’_ The nurse thought to herself in silence. _‘How long can one keep that façade in his face until he’s had enough?’_

This was Zeke’s younger brother, a brother he spoke of with adoration and great trust which meant they at least got along despite the family’s rather troubling situation from within.  Zeke was a man filled with pessimistic feeling about this war, about the need of it. He could not see the sense in it. But seeing the young Jaeger now and listening him talk with pride about his commanding officer, the purple eyed young woman understood his affection for his German identity, for his homeland and for his people.

Zeke and his brother couldn’t be more different.

If anything their father’s blood and name was their only similarity.

The doctor had shown her photographs when he brought with him from home. And yet they both have different ideals, she saw. At first she thought he had his elder brother’s coloring. But Zeke had laughed and thought that it would not suit his brother. And perhaps he was right.

The luscious country green and the brown hair suited him far better than the pale cold blue and the gilded gold halo on his head. Perhaps that’s also another reason why Mikasa can’t help but stare at him whenever she could.

“You should stop drooling all over his image, Mika.” Erzsi tells her as she and Mikasa were loaded off into a military vehicle. They bid their farewell for a bit for Sasha and Petra as they were to be loaded on another car. Eren rode the other car as he was to assist Erwin. “It’s not polite to stare at him in such a way.”

“I..I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

“I know, dear dove.” The purple eyed woman took the dark haired woman’s hand and squeezed it tight. “But promise me that you’ll only be friends with him. Nothing more exceeding friendship.”

“It’s nothing but friendliness, I swear to you. You know I would never lie to you.”

“I know that.”

“What are you both talking about?” Hange Zoe peeped through the other passenger seat, stunning the two frozen with shock. Erzsi put her hand on her heart and started laughing. Soon, Mikasa followed suit in a soft manner. The _leutnant_ was left perplexed. “Why are you laughing?”

“You...You just shocked us, is all.” Erzsi admitted in between of her laughing fits. “Though we’re laughing about it now because I felt like I was going to have a heart attack!”

“Oh,” Hange rubbed her back and smiled apologetically. “My bad! I didn’t mean to cause your hearts to freeze.”

“ _Leutnant_ Hange, I already told you about that.” Moblit Berner took his position in the passenger seat. “The last time you did that, you nearly sent one of the Bavarian generals off to the hospital!”

“Ahhh, I know, I know.” Hange waved it off. “He didn’t know how to take my greeting, is all!”

“He was old _, Leutnant_! It was his retirement party!”

“Details, details.”

Erzsi decided that despite the woman’s eccentric and rather obnoxious self, Hange Zoe was a pretty good person. Hange made sure that both she and Mikasa were comfortable on their trip, offering to open the windows further should the weather grow a little too hot or bring it up if the wind got too cold.

Hange even asked about their experience in the train and what could be the faults that could be improved. Despite her rather reserved nature at times, Erzsi found herself enjoying talking to the head of engineer, finding out that she was quite the conversationalist and was enthusiastic at every topic may it be about her life or about something else.

Hange has had quite an exciting life for someone who has lived only twenty-five years. She was born in Bavaria to one of the many branches of the Wettelsbach family, who ruled over the land for many generations before then. But because of her mother’s status as a commoner, their marriage was not seen as a valid match and Hange and her father were both removed from the line of succession and took her mother’s last name for her own.

Both her parents were avid scientific enthusiasts and became renowned in salons and taverns for their theories and moved to Munich where her father started to become a professor and use his delight and knowledge to further the studies of scientific research while her mother became an assistant for a doctor. Being an only child, her father passed onto her so much knowledge which furthered her desire to learn.

And since she was rejected in German universities for being a woman, she decided to travel all over France in a long month and took all of their tests and decided on the university at Paris. Moblit and she met there and he became her assistant after graduating they traveled Europe to further the scientific research they conducted. Stopping at Prussia where they met Erwin and Levi.

“I do have one question about this though.” Mikasa exclaimed, raising her hand slightly as Hange turned to her. “Since you’ve spent so much time with _fahnrich_ Berner, does this mean you both are lovers?”

Moblit lost control of the wheels as Hange was thrown back into the back of the seat hard.

But Moblit got the car back on track, saving them from being hit by another car.

Erzsi slapped Mikasa’s hand. “Mikasa, you musn’t ask sensitive questions while the _fahnrich_ is driving! We could die!”

Mikasa sighed. “I was merely curious. They’ve been together for years and yet-“

“W-we’re just friends, _frau_ Mikasa!” Hange finally managed to say, her face red from embarrassment. Moblit decided to focus on the rode but it was obvious how red he looks as well. “Truly...just friends.”

“I see, thank you for that clarification.” Mikasa nodded and looked out the window, but then she smirked.

Erzsi decided she and Mikasa might have to talk later about not interfering in other being oblivious.

Levi gaze turned out of his side window and raised a brow as his gaze turned back inside. “Do you notice how Berner’s slowed down?”

“Hm?”

“He was a little bit faster in speed earlier but he slowed down.”

“He almost got hit by another incoming car, _herr rittmeister_.” Eren informed them, turning his gaze into the road completely. “I think something happened.”

“It shouldn’t be an assassin or anything dangerous, I should think.” Kruger exclaimed to them. “I ensured that not even petty thieves would ruin your arrival, _rittmeister._ ”

“You probably failed, _herr major_.” Levi replied. “Otherwise, there would be nothing that could prevent Berner from driving well. He’s good driver.”

“No, that’s not that.” Erwin dropped his chin onto his fingertips. “ _Oberleutnant_ , who is riding with Hange and Berner?”

“ _Frau_ Ackerman and _Frau_ Dawk.”

“Ah, that’s why.” Erwin smiled nonchalantly as Levi gazed at him questioningly. Eren was also smiling, though as quickly as it appeared it was also quick to fade. “ _Frau_ Ackerman has a mouth on her. She says things that often lead people to overreact.”

“Remind me to never get in a car with her.” Levi whispered to Eren. “Forget death by combat. It’s death by mouthy bitch.”

Erwin had to laugh at that.

He thinks their days would be quite fun with all of them along.

“I must apologize for the frenzy earlier, _rittmeister_.” The major voiced with a strict composure. “The high command thought that it would be good propaganda to ensure the empire that the great hero of the fatherland is alive and well.”

“By all means, I am delighted to do such a thing.” Erwin nodded his head. “It’s quite important that I fulfill such a duty of returning to the front.”

“Tch, it’s annoying.” The silver eyed man roughly retorted. “I don’t understand the need of them to keep using us to give false hope. Shouldn’t they focus on giving bread to the people in the cities?”

“I understand your reservations of the war, _oberleutnant._ But I suggest that you keep that opinion in private.” The two stoic men’s eyes met, an invisible battle engaging between them. “If such words are heard in the wide open, you could be sentenced in front of the firing squad.”

“I stand by my word. Go on ahead if you want to send me to be shot in the gallows. But know one thing, Kruger. I’m not afraid of dying. Could you say the same?”

“I’ve been in the game of war far before you, child.” Kruger’s eyes glinted with unwavering determination. “That prepares a man for death.”

“I think this is enough.” Erwin finally intervened, noticing that the young Jaeger boy felt uncomfortable in the unseen war enough that he might not drive properly anymore. The blond man turned to Levi. “We shall speak about this later, _oberleutnant._ ”

The young man glared at the blond nobleman and turned away, his eyes looking through the outside.

The quiet took over the car once more.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Kruger tugged into his military coat and revealed a small paper wrapped into half. “This was a telegram that arrived for you before you arrived, _rittmeister_.”

Erwin took it. “Who is it from?”

“It came from the _Kraukau_ office.” Erwin opened it to read quietly. “It would seem that the fortress is getting a new commanding officer to replace one of the retiring ones.”

“Oh, it seems we’ll meet again.” He tucked the paper away into uniform’s pocket. “It’s been quite a long time.”

Kruger pursed his lips. “Is the message not in your favor, _rittmeister_?”

“No, no it’s fine.” He shrugged it off, giving the man a small smile. “Are we almost there yet?”

“Oh a few more kilometers...”

Levi saw that smile.

That wasn’t his truest smile.

That was him saving face.

He’ll get to the bottom of it later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**EVERYONE HAD BEEN TIRED AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVED IN THE SAFETY OF THEIR BASE IN THE WIDE MAKESHIFT AIRFIELDS IN THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE CITY OF PRZEMYSL.** Erwin Smith had thought that this was the perfect location to have their squadron. For one, the entire city was surrounded by a long wide ring of fortresses named after the town. It was the pride of the multiethnic empire of house of Habsburg. This was the buffer zone of the Austro-Hungarians against the Russians and it is one to be feared in all of Europe.

A series of political crises and horrible wars involving the large empire of the Russians was what led the Habsburgs the decision to build the fortress. It was first small series of defense entrenchments before the earthworks were retired for permanent stone fortification that would be the jewel of the empire’s pride and it was no doubt just as much the face of the Galician pride.

The fortresses were a large ring of many large fortresses in a large circular formation around the city and within it there were smaller outposts protecting the city. When the war began, the series of fortresses were on full alert for the Russian onslaught. The Russians had tried to take the entire fortress, to force the Austrians to capitulate.

For almost a year it was sieged and for almost a year, the men of the Habsburg lands held out. It was a horrible affair, both within and outside the walls on both sides. Through illness and hunger, through the mounting deaths and casualties, the siege continued until the Austrians could take no more. The garrison surrendered to the massive Russian invaders.

The loss was a large blow to the Austro-Hungarian Empire and its people. There was not only a fear that the Russians would go through Hungary but also the fact that the morale of the empire fell when a fortress meant to house fifty thousand men was surrendered with a hundred and ten thousand men.

Erwin had been privy to the decision of the German high command to force an offensive through the Russian front and push them back in the far edges of Galicia, thus solidifying their army becoming the dominant force in the relationship between the two empires.

It was something that Nile Esterhazy had never come to terms with, prideful and proud of his nation as many of the fools of the higher ups were, of course he could not deal with being humiliated.

Perhaps it’s the reason why he took the opportunity to be the new commander of the battered and broken, now insignificant fortress in the place of the man who had surrendered it to the enemy. Despite the fact that this was now a part of a free independent Polish country that both empires made, the emperors had forced the idea of the Hungarian _oberstleutnant_ to be its new commandant.

But that was something Erwin thought could be to his advantage. Nile was willing to listen to his compromises and needs for his own flight squadron. He was sure that it would work out should he play his cards right. His squadron would have the protection of the fortress and its walls, its inner guns and mortars and its many large artillery pieces against the enemy and forcing them to fall to the might of the Austro-Hungarian and German forces combining together to hammer the Russians back into their own territory.

And there was the fact that the soldiers would never be lost through the sky. The river San flowed through the heart of the Galicia. It would be useful for not only navigation but maneuver tactics. If the pilots slowly cruise through the river without going too low to drop, they could force the enemy pilots to dive through the river or even the surrounding forests.

Erwin rubbed his tired eyes, his dried lips touching the cold uninviting wave of the whiskey filled glass. Downing the harsh reeling feeling of the alcohol, he looked out the window shattered by the busy day he has had and observing the city from his chamber in the old baroque building that withstood the harsh thriller of warfare.

He did not have the desire to join his squadron for dinner that night. He would have no appetite to after Levi and him arguing about the need of his _oberleutnant_ separating his personal thoughts to that of his heavy duty and the constant talk of the continuing their military objectives and strategic planning. The mountain of paperwork he had just finished getting through. Erwin was spent and all he wanted was sleep.

Beaten by his body’s betrayal, he decided to sit at the edge of his soft white wide mattress. He took in the loneliness, the quiet, the coldness of the dark empty night. Erwin Smith was not that old, in fact he was only in his late twenties. But he felt the weariness of war age him to a hundred, even a thousand more years.

Grounded from the freedom he owns within the sky’s unlimited blue whispers and the kiss of the wind’s unending love, he felt the heavy weight the burdens he tries to forget in the comfort of his plane. The uncertain hope he gifts his fatherland, the massive guilt of so many people’s death on his shoulders, the heavy pain of responsibilities and duties dulling his humanity. He did not know how he could stop himself from going mad from being down here, a fallen eagle without the use of his wings.

Erwin began to think of warm days. Those days when the war did not exist to haunt the lives of men and women, the old and the young, those were days he dearly missed. Days when peace was all the people needed in their lives rather than the blood and gore and the mad patriotism of the empires and their greedy desires. Erwin could not help but think of those sweet years of youthful spring. He felt himself crave to smile and for a moment he did, thinking of the woman he had loved with the young youthful grace that brought back the foolish days of his own boyhood dreams.

Dreams he knew he could never have any longer. Dreams that have been left in the past and the glorious past do not come to return unless a dreadful, hefty price to be paid. That woman was not his to think about anymore for she had never been his to begin with, for he swore long ago that a soldier should rather be unmarried lest he wished his bride to be a quick widow.

Erwin placed the glass quietly on the bedside table beside his bed. Lying down on his pillow, he felt agitated by the bed’s softness. Erwin had not slept in a proper soft bed in a very long time. It was as if he was sinking into the deep ocean, drowning in its cool embrace.

For some reason his mind wandered towards the soft purple eyes he had so dreadfully become fond of.

A soft smile appeared upon his lips as the thought turned into the beautiful reminder of home, of the violet flowers his mother had so loved. The flowers he had come to love as well. He felt warmth consume him, the beautiful smell of fresh lavender. The beautiful twinkle of silver moonlight swirling softly like the beautiful ocean wave on a kind summer night.

His eyes closed peacefully.

It was the best sleep he’s had in a while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**HE WAS QUITE GLAD THAT HIS NEW SOLDIERS LISTENED WELL TO THE SMALL BRIEFING HE ENTRUSTED MOBLIT BERNER TO GIVE THE YOUNGLINGS LAST NIGHT DURING DINNER**. Otherwise, they would not be able to keep up with his desired speed of movement. The great reason for his squadron’s success was their ability to keep up to speed with the time Erwin sets himself.

During his years in the military academy, he has heard many praises of his own professors who themselves were once soldiers, praise the indefinite success of the German empire being born to the speed and efficiency of their military’s movements.

Erwin had been in awe of this ever since the tales of his grandfather’s stories of the Prussian glory against the French and the Austrians because of their quick and ingenious use of their time by arranging their efforts on keeping up the speed of mobility and efficiency.

Thus when he became a young man with a given command, he had decided to also put to great use time tables to keep track of his soldiers and their duties. Erwin had been delighted with his soldiers, being distinct from the rest and being considered the most highest of examples of exemplary excellence within the Prussian and German ranks. That was an honor that he kept close to his heart and to this day still holds greatly with pride.

Erwin had not been a member of the aerial squadrons during the beginning of the war. His career beginning as an army officer through his policing services before the great battles of this world war even began. But he knew how to fly a plane before anyone else, his mother’s father sending one from across the sea to enjoy on his first great honor from the German Kaiser on a good duty well served.

But as the years went by in this war, Erwin had decided it was high time that the empire had its own units of airmen to serve as observers and reconnaissance servicemen. As he gained popularity within the empire, his request was granted to create his own _Jagdstaffel_ unit and choose his own men to bring. Desiring not to remain in the Western Front any longer, Erwin made a request to be sent in the Eastern front with his staff and men.

And within their one year, his squadron was the best in the empire.

This made Erwin expect much from his men. Only the best of the best were to be a part of it. Handpicked and selected by him and his trusted men. Though this time, the icy blue eyed man had no say on some of his replacements.

It was the German high command that gained the upper hand on decisions this time around, adding new pilots from not only the German empire but also from the Austro-Hungarian empire under the recommendation of the brave beloved Hungarian general, Dot Esterhazy who was Nile’s own father.

The man had been sent over to the Italian front, where Nile used to be before being sent here in the Galician front. Retired before the war even began, Kaiser Franz Josef personally asked the princely count to return to active service for this war and serve as one of his generals within his chief of staff.

Of course, the man could not deny the Kaiser but told him that he would neither fight the English nor the Russians as he had family ties there. The Kaiser granted this and thus he now led the armies against the Italians.

General Dot had a good eye for soldiers, considering he took personal charge of who goes through his command. Often he was forced to have ill experienced soldiers but overtime he makes them into strong hardened veterans with his leadership. Erwin had a high view of the old man and thus accepted the list of soldiers he had suggested would be a great addition to Erwin’s command.

And now they stood there in front of him.

Behind him were his well-disciplined squad officers and already seasoned young soldiers, who standing opposite the young green recruits mirroring their stance. In the middle was an empty space where Erwin stands to evaluate them, standing tall and proud in his uniform wrapped under his long dark fur coat from home.

Levi came first as his _oberleutnant_ in standing order with Hange followed suit as his chief engineer and his _leutnant_. Moblit looked a little tired standing next to Hange but stood as still as he could. Then Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert and Connie Springer standing still promoted a position higher a mere day before under Erwin’s orders.

“Introduce yourself, soldier.” Erwin spoke in his native tongue, his tone high and mighty. The young man was tall and well-built and he had the general military haircut, the color blended with dark charcoal and sandy blond. His eyes were piercing with determination, his uniform was well ironed and proudly worn. His leather boots tightly crisped on his khaki slacks.

“My name is Jean Kirstein, _rittmeister_!” The young man, who seemed no older than eighteen or nineteen, saluted with well precision.

“Where do you hail from, Kirstein?”

“ _Strasbourg_ , sir. _Elsass-Lothringen_.”

“Oh? You are from both?”

“Yes, sir!” The young man exclaimed as loud as he can, but he was by no means shouting. “I am half German and half French, sir. My mother is from the _Elsass_ region and my father is from _Lothringen_.”

“I see. And why did you decide to join the German army instead of the French?”

“Sir, with all due respect, I was born with the idea of German pride.” The young man exclaimed quietly. “Just because my mother is French doesn’t mean I waver to her side.”

“Then why do you not fight in the Western front? If your pride for your fatherland is as high as any good man in the trenches, then why are you not there?”

“The government, they...they distrust us. So they think it best that we should stick to the Eastern front or the Navy, sir. Thinking all of us would defect to the French. But not all of us are. I did not wish to be stuck in the stalemate on the ground, sir and so I asked for other options. They told me that your squadron was in need of men and I...”

Erwin’s face was showered with no emotion. “Then you realize that all my soldiers, all their lives can be ended within days, hours, even minutes. Are you willing to risk that, young man, to serve and die for your fatherland?”

Jean pursed his lips and saluted once more. “If it means that I will be able to prove that I am loyal to my fatherland, that’s good enough for me, _rittmeister_ , sir.”

“Then you have my respect.” Erwin placed his hand on the young man’s shoulder, who was astounded at the act, perhaps even uncomfortable. “Welcome to _Jasta SAT 1._ ”

The introductions were the same for all new recruits. Erwin liked to have even one moment to be personal to his soldiers. Even if this was all he has, he wanted to have the opportunity to know what all these young souls wish for and why they decided to live this life instead of a life that is safe and sound away from the dangers and terror of the cruel realizations of war.

The young soldier Marco Bott grew up with Kirstein, though he was through and through by blood was a German with parents who were from Potsdam. The young man announced his desire to die for his Kaiser and his fatherland. Erwin had thought if their situation was similar to that of his and Levi’s.

Marlowe Freudenberg was from Innsbruck, one of General Dot’s handpicked recruits, announcing that he had no fear in death for his fatherland and his Kaiser. Though Erwin wondered how long his resolve will last when he sees what happens in the Eastern skies.

Berthold Hoover had been from Brandenburg while Reiner Braun was from Vienna, though both had met during their schooling in Berlin and became great friends. Both had decided to join Erwin’s squadron because of the great trauma that the Western Front had both put them both through after a year of graduating from military schooling.

Dot believed that both would do well in the squadron, adding them to the list as both great shooters and great spotters. Though Erwin supposed he will have to see that for himself.

Though what surprised him was the woman from Bohemia, Annie Leonhard. Erwin had not been surprised that a woman could do something like fly a plane or shoot because he had seen Hange do both.

However, the list came from someone he thought would think less of the women in this country and his society. But Dot had told him that Annie was a good shooter with a rifle and had flown missions before in the Italian front, deciding to strongly recommend her for his squad and dismissing the fact that he thought women were better at home.

_‘I have daughters who shoot well beyond than my sons, Smith.’_ Dot’s drunken tone in the phone line told him, laughing hard as he had been drunk that night. _‘If anything they should be the ones in the war, not my sons.’_

Though, Erwin did not bother to ask about the daughters. Knowing the nature of the great general, he was fond with having many daughters and sons that he bothered not to count.

When all the introductions finished, Erwin began his own pointers for his soldiers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you all chose or were chosen for the honor of being in my squadron,” The captain began as he turned to a pause, staring at his soldiers. “You are all here because you have been called to your duty, to your contribution to the much needed effort for our fatherland and its future. The war has gotten bigger in a two long years, a great world war it is now called. But as it has gotten messier and heavier to carry, you have been called here to put an end to this folly.”

He could hear Levi’s mind cussing at him at this point.

“You carry the weight of being the most superior and most powerful flying corps in the empires we serve. You carry the weight of the beginnings and outcomes of battles and skirmishes. You carry the weight of the outcome of this entire war. The Russians are clashing against us in the field and now we have to begin clash against them in the skies. By getting on your planes, you are all doing your duty.”

Cheers from the men and the women came, but Erwin silenced them.

“You are all turning into the hope the fatherland needs at this very moment. When you get on your plane, you become the wings of freedom our great fatherland has given for other great peoples. Our wings grant the freedom of our countrymen, our wings grant the future of our fatherland. Your will to fight and your will to sacrifice for the sake of duty must be first and foremost being your first priority.” He saluted all of them. “You are our fatherland’s wings, so use them and let us all soar into a greater and more bountiful future together. Ladies and gentlemen, I, your _rittmeister_ , Erwin Smith, welcome you all as my comrades and my soldiers. Welcome to _Jasta SAT 1.”_

The soldiers cheered and clapped for the speech of their commanding officer. This was what Erwin was good at besides his prowess for the martial duty of war. He was good and able at gathering his soldiers into a patriotic fervor, to gather them into doing their duty no matter how terribly horrifying or no matter how deadly it is.

The words that come out from Erwin Smith’s mouth are like a forbidden incantation that drives all men and women to be bewitched, to be bonded to him like a puppet on a string. That perhaps is also why people fear him, even within the high command. Erwin Smith knew how to escape any situation, even with just a little inclination of words. That is why no one wanted him as their enemy.

Erwin silenced them again.

“I have to remind you though, my soldiers that you are all to follow the doctrines we have made for all flying men and women under my command.” The commanding officer exclaimed aloud, enough to be heard in the back lines. “ _Herr_ Berner, one of your commanding officers has explained most of them to you last night. And I will not make him repeat it all. Is that understood?”

“Yes, rittmeister!”

The captain’s glare became deadly. “Thus, I expect you all to know a thin line between being clever and being cowards. That is why to prove your ability in the sky, I expect all of you within the next four weeks to at least shoot one plane. Otherwise, your occupation in this squadron will be terminated.”

The new recruits received the news differently as they all looked at one another. Some had horrified looks and some had smirks on their faces, some were nodding, grinning and even giving determined salutes. Erwin acknowledged them all, lowering his head as his visor covered his eyes.

But his gaze was lost towards purple eyes.

“Officers, you may introduce yourselves.” Retorted the blue eyed man as his head turned to the dark haired second in command. “ _Oberleutnant_ Ackerman, please take charge.”

Levi saw what Erwin had been distracted by.

He releases a straight tight nod.

And with that, Erwin walked away to approach the lone woman with beautiful eyes as she read a book out in the fields.

“Why are you sitting here alone?” Erzsebet did not give him a gaze. “Hey, have you gone senile and deaf?”

“Hush, I’m reading.”

“Shouldn’t you be introducing yourself to the new recruits?” Erwin lowered himself to sit beside her as she flipped another page. “You are the head nurse.”

“Temporarily.”

His lips had quirked into a distant smile. “Temporary as it may be but still you are the head nurse. They should know who to go to when they injure themselves when they clean their engines.”

She sighed, leaning her forehead into the book. “If this is your way of driving me mad and away from my book, it is horribly working.”

Erwin laughed hard as she shook her head at him, a leaf gathered from the front page and placed into the page she was currently reading. Closing the book, she placed it on her lap.

“There, _rittmeister_. You have my attention. Now, what is it you need?”

“Well, I have gotten your attention. Must there anything else a man need in this life?”

“You know already know flattering me does not work.”

He gave a feign shrug. “It was worth a shot. At the very least, I told a beautiful woman that she is flattering.”

She once more shook her head at him, though this time she had a smile on her face. Erwin considered that a personal victory. “Is this what you do when you have nothing else to entertain you?”

“Anything you do is entertaining.” Erwin admits to her as he lets his legs lazily rest upon the grass. “I always have the urge to seek you out because of it.”

“That’s very kind of you to say but we both know that I am not as interesting as one would seem to think.” A long strand of her silver blonde hair slowly departs from her cheek as it danced against the wind’s currents. “My cousin Louis used to peg me as the uninteresting girl in the family.”

“That’s not true.” Erwin whispers to her ear as his fingers moved in to trap the strands of her hair back to the safety of the back of her lovely ear. She found comfort in his kind touch. His gaze upon her most interesting orbs grin look back at him, the feeling of electricity dancing through them exhilarating them both.

“You are no doubt the most interesting woman I’ve met.”

“You are just saying that to lessen my embarrassment-“

“Why do you not see what others see in you?” He wonders to her, almost sadly. “Why do you not see what I see?”

“Because people made me realize I am nothing but another woman and that there are millions more out there, just like me.” She takes the book in her right hand and carefully stands but Erwin’s instinct was to take her wrist in his hand. “What...”

“Erzsi!” The figure of a woman with dark hair came to view as Erwin finally let go of her wrist. It was Mikasa. A smile was warm on her face, a pure elated gaze still on her dark eyes. A welcome sight to Erzsi. “They finally wrote! Come on, we must read them now!”

Erzsi’s eyes beamed with joy as she returned Mikasa’s smile, though it was not its fullest. She turned to Erwin. “I bid you farewell, _rittmeister_.”

“And you too, _frau Bratsche_.”

She finally left him to entwine her hands with Mikasa as they ran back into the building, silent words escaping them.

Soon they disappeared from view.

He groaned and let his body scatter through the grass.

“She isn’t Marie, Erwin.” He whispered to himself. “Get a grip.”

But deep inside he knew she was not Marie.

She was the woman he called his _frau_   _Bratsche._

She was different.

But he didn’t know why he thought that.

He didn't know why she's on his mind.

The blue eyed man took in a deep breath.

What on earth was happening to him?


	6. Chivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Chivalry was all I could think of  
> When I thought of you, dear Erwin.  
> You had always been kind to not only  
> Those of your cherished friends but  
> As well as your enemies, whom I should  
> Think you would not only hate but also  
> Despise for what they are doing against us.  
> Still you hold no grudge, you smile at all  
> Of them as if you had been friends all your lives.  
> But I urge you to be cautious still and lower your  
> That medieval thinking of yours, dear Erwin.  
> For just like great knights before in the old days  
> Death will come for you so utterly horribly,  
> All because you value chivalry over war.'
> 
> -Princely Countess Marie von Battenberg Esterhazy, Graffin von Scholossenberg to Rittmeister Erwin Smith, Graf von Schmidt, (1915)

 

 

CHAPTER VI

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

> _“  Chivalry  “_
> 
>   
>    
> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **IT WAS EATING AT HIM INSIDE TO SEE ALL OF HIS MEN GET IN AND OUT OF THEIR PLANES WHILE HE SAT THERE UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING AS WEEKS PASS BY.** Erwin Smith had never really allowed much to get to him, not even as a child when he was made fun of by the local children for being too serious or for being too knowledgeable or just for the thick figure of his eyebrows. 

It was never really in his interest to let things get to him, that was what his grandfather had learnt and passed onto his father and that was what his father had passed onto him. There must be discipline and reason with every act. But it was as if those teachings have flown out of the window. 

Summer had been eventful in the Eastern Front as the August heat started to kick through the battlefields both on land and sky. Erwin had never thought that these two months would be the most eventful he’s seen the East in his time of service here.

And yet here he is, in his civilian clothes with a bandage on his head and tea at his disposal, while watching his squadron from the opened doors of his terrace as they once more get into their planes, readying for another day of combat as they climbed up the pilot’s sanctuary. 

He felt deep unrooted feelings watching them, disoriented and confusing. If anything, he wasn’t worried about his head but more of his own emotions. Despite his best efforts, they would not bottle down to the deep barriers of the uncharted oceans he had drowned everything he felt. It had always been easy for him to keep himself in check. After all, the truest thing he had control over was his person. And yet it perplexes him that he feels utterly unable to stop himself from slumping in this chair, wallowing in his own emotions as if wanting pity from the people around him.

He despised it.

From a far, Erwin could see the brilliant bright colors of the many diverse planes as they all lined up in a symmetrical line to ready for take-off as the sounds of their roaring engines came alive. 

There were various types of planes through the large field. Monoplanes, biplanes, triplanes from _Halberstadt, Fokker, Albatros_ and others with all had their own varied functions and duties. Some focused on reconnaissance, some in fighting and some on bombarding enemy lines.

The sound brought Erwin to the state of nirvana as the propellers moved in sync with one another, almost like the sound of the beating of hearts. There was a shine in his eyes, a swell of pride for both his young and seasoned pilots despite his self- contradictions.

These men were the most superior out of the air fighting men within both empires that could match that of the Russians. Perhaps even against that of _Oswald Boelcke_ , the supreme fighting ace in the West, and his disciplined command. And they, despite the mixed nationalities and allegiances, were bonded within the brotherhood and familiarity of the German aerial service.

The _Deutsche Luftstreitkrafte_ had been founded almost six years before the war had existed and years before aircrafts were completely made to serve and be perfected. Many had been skeptical about the idea of flight before the new era of technology dawned upon them and became reality. 

Germany was born and grew out of wars and battles where their might had been considered superior. In his mind, it would have been rather tedious to not pay attention to the needs of defending this young empire from the threats outside its borders. 

It was the right decision to form the aerial service and he was no doubt in this time, an important aspect of the war as it dragged further into the wearying years of tired soldiers and starving populations. If anything, they were the distraction the fatherland needed that very moment.

In the beginning, Erwin had been serving with the land forces but as soon as he got the opportunity early last year, he had transferred with his prior aircraft knowledge having owned one before the war had even begun. And then, they merely focused on aerial reconnaissance, gathering as much intelligence as they could to bolster the might of their army’s military expertise. 

But now they focused on other things that deserve their attention too. Their duties were not only gathering information but encountering a great amount of dueling with the other proud knights in the blue skies of Europe on two things: stealing information and keeping information.

Each battle could be won, lost or drawn within the limit of a few minutes, in some cases an hour or more. Each action, both mistake and correct acts, were what shaped the war for the Germans in whatever front they are to be in. It was the utmost importance that they are able to be able to complete their missions each and every time, of course no one is perfect. 

Erwin has had to pull from dozens of engagements against the enemies from his patrols and his flight missions. There was no need to waste his fuel and his life for something he thought was not worth it, a teaching he gives all the men and women who serve under him. 

So long as he manages to bring down the enemy scout, he can bring down the plane.

He’d rather the information is lost rather than to lose what his comrades had died trying to accomplish.

Bringing his lips to the porcelain edge of the cup, he sees his newly made plane. His old plane, another having gotten a few mishaps from his battle with his new Russian rival and his miraculous landing, was dubbed as retired from its use. 

Hange had suggested the idea of replacement considering that his plane had been kept in service for almost half a year. It was only high time for him to change his plane.

The plane had been tested for flight before it had been painted, almost two days before. It was to ensure that it was not only safe but kept up to par with the changes and modifications that had been made by Hange herself.

Erwin had been unfortunately sidelined by his own second in command to test it for him, his good friend giving him a good glare as if to make sure that his blond friend was keeping his side of the bargain. Erwin could only watch as the tests were conducted hour after hour.

He clenched his hands into tight fists.

In that time, his enemies grew stronger. That was a reason for which he crashed through the skies as if he was a green boy who didn’t know what he was doing. Erwin Smith was only lucky that his body had not betrayed him to fall to the fate of being burnt to the pulp. He had been too loose, too irresponsible and not to mention he had been as focused as much as he should be.

If he had been, he would have been able to gather himself with his men down there and smile at them as words of encouragements leave his lips. 

He would have been able to fly.

Erwin downed the last of his tea, having quite enough for the meantime. He couldn’t sit here any longer, he thought. He should be getting his gear on and readying his plane. But instead he sat here alone in the quiet sunlight as it beamed down to his balcony to eye his new plane. 

The beautiful smooth coat of sky blue was still drying after the coat had been added merely a day before upon his orders, gleaming with the _Balkenkreuz_ right at the body of the plane and its wings while beside it blue and white wings intertwined.

A magnificent flight from here, he thought. Though standing so far away from it, Erwin Smith could not help but lift his hand, longing to touch it as if it was going to disappear. So close and yet so far, he could only think. If he goes now, he could make it. He could fly. Erzsebet could bandage his head up tightly to make sure his wound would not open.

He frowned.

But then again he had made a promise to Levi. The only promises he has ever kept he thought were to his father, his men and to his dear friend.

He was not about to begin now.

“You’ve been thinking too much again, haven’t you?” He turned around, seeing the grey dress sway across the space as Erzsebet Dawk moved around to clear the space and settle her kit down. 

He took a step to her. “Let me help you-“

“It’s fine. It’s not that much.” She raised a hand as she settled everything carefully. She offered him a smile. “Having tea alone?”

He turned back and replied, “I don’t think they would have time to accompany me.”

“I wouldn’t have minded if you had asked me.” Erzsebet says to her, urging him to a seat. “I was going to come by to change your bandage anyway.”

“I...I didn’t think you would have the time to...”

“There is always a way to make time.” She smiles once more as he sat down. Her hands slowly unveiled his head from the used bandage. “I have a question.”

“Fire away.”

“Why blue?” 

“Hm?”

“Your plane.” She uttered softly. “Why did you paint it blue?”

He adjusted in his seat. “Why not? It’s a beautiful color isn’t it?”

“Well there must be a reason to it, shouldn’t there? Colors, they always represent something to all of us.”

“Oh? And it does to you?”

“My brooch, it was a gift from someone special. That person gave me a brooch with the same color filled with the most beautiful pearls strung with beautiful golden leaves attached too. It was made of jade if I could recall.”

He felt something ache inside of him. “Was that person a man?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She teasingly replied to him.

He stayed silent for a little while.

“My mother and I shared eyes. People used to say that I earned my father’s but his were blueish-green. Mine are purely blue as hers was.” She heard him utter silently; she could see his posture timed as if he was reminiscing memories in his head. 

“It was the most beautiful color in the world to me then. I was very fond of her and she died when I was very young...”

“So you chose that color in her honor.”

“I suppose so...There isn’t a day that I don’t think of her.”

She did not speak either after that. Perhaps she was thinking of something too, he thought.

“High Command was rather angry at me for it.” He said, laughing to lighten up the mood. “They said that the Office of Aviation was as horrified as General Hindenburg was.

“I could only imagine!” She had to laugh at that. He liked the way she laughed.

“It was quite a spectacle.” He had to smile at that. “Could you imagine the most vicious ruler of the military red in the face like a baby in a fit as I stated the facts?”

She only laughed harder.

But in a few moments, he quieted too.

“Though, I should think that they would be more surprised with something else.” He murmured to himself, hoping she had not heard him.

The German High Command had almost crucified him and his entire squadron when they found out that Erwin had decided to become a little too creative with his own plane a few months to celebrate after his first few kills almost a year ago now. 

Of course, Erwin never meant any harm by it. If he had decided to cause harm, he would have done something else. But he merely wanted to showcase his plane’s glorious reign over the skies. 

The higher officials of the army and the air service thought that it was stupid. He was only inviting the enemies all around him, he was pinpointing himself as the target.

But Erwin Smith did not want him to see a target, he wanted them to see the hunter.

And each time he always did.

This encouraged his men to paint their planes too, allowing them personal freedom to do whatever they wished to their planes so long as it did not affect their ability to fly and many important functions of their engines and weapons. 

In fact, the _rittmeister_ used his own salary to pay for the materials in order, which annoyed the chief of staff even further. He had no use for his salary anyway, considering he had more than enough money to his name. Though the higher officials were annoyed, they did not do anything else.

He was too well needed.

It was a very amusing concept, to decorate his plane into a bright green field with his family’s two intertwined wings of blue and white which had been his family’s arms for generations. Soon, the men under his command had painted their planes too in that fashion. It not only motivated them but it also united them under one banner, under one family, under one blood and kin.

The troops they supported down below had often fondly referred to as the _Der Flugel der Freiheit_ or the Wings of Freedom, which had become their squad’s common name in the newspapers, a far more likable name than plain old boring _Jasta SAT I._

If anything he thought his squad should not be the one to be mocked alone as they were not the only one who paints their planes. The blokes in the Western front should also receive demotions for decorating their own planes as well if high command was in the mood to be fair. 

Though he knows they were never fair, especially not to him or those close to him.

The _rittmeister_ was certain that they too would judge him once more for taking apart the plane of his enemy and taking its engine, replacing the _Mercedes D.II_ engine of his new _Fokker Eindeker_ and in its place was to be the enemy’s Russian _SPAD S.VII_ ’s engine. 

The _SPAD S.VII_ had belonged to the enemy pilot he had shot down a few months ago, the same day of his own fall. The army corps had found the plane crashed near _Rudno,_ destroyed save the engine. It was clear that had been Erwin’s prey as he had marked the man’s fall in his mapping journal. After the pilot had been buried honorably, what remained was given to Hange Zoe under Erwin’s authorization.

Erwin had been surprised when Hange had told him about the plane and the engine during his time in the hospital. He was not only surprised about the being told about it but also because Hange had managed to conspire with Moblit to steal an observer plane to leave the safety of the base.

Levi had been agitated enough to have the desire to kill Hange, knowing that herself that she was a valuable member of the flying corps. But Erwin could not help but stay silent, making quiet assumptions as he pushed aside his anger over Hange and Moblit breaking law.

From what he knew about it, these types of planes could not have been produced by the Russians yet as there was no information or sighting about it thus far. After all, this was the French planes that should be in the French mainland. There was no way that it should be here at all.

Erwin felt delighted to have a new formidable and extraordinary opponent in the skies because he was sure that this challenge was meant to be for him. 

The devil believes he could handle this.

But he worried about his men. 

That led him to wonder if their planes could even keep up at this rate.

They may have the tactics, but often times they forget those in midst of combat.

At the very least, improvement on their planes could possibly save them.

Erwin had been privy to the reports of the German and Austro-Hungarian manufacturers for a long while now as his position granted him enough oversight and by what he had manage to read, some of the engines in the made prototypes could not keep up with the flight and power demands and were not well suited in the planes made. 

It frustrated and horrified him all at the same time.

That’s when he blew up at Hange from his hospital bed a mere few weeks ago.

_“It doesn’t make sense as to why they would have such valuable planes here.” Erwin voiced out then, his voice coming out harsh from the lack of water. “Our spies have yet to inform us about something like this.”_

_“I don’t know about it, either.” Hange had told him in reply. “But you managed to shoot down one of them. There were only five of them, though.”_

_“They may be four now but you should be aware how far superior they are to some of our own planes.” Erwin retorts back. “Fokker, Halberstadt, Albatros. Do you think they could compete with it?”_

_“I...I don’t know.” Hange whispered. “The engine has yet to be attached to any plane. We wouldn’t know fully until we get it tested.”_

_“Exactly.” He gritted his teeth hard in frustration. “And not to mention that I get reports about how many planes of ours those four had shot down. We may have replacements but we’ll lose them as soon as we can.”_

_“Erwin, the replacements have been assured to us by high command as great pilots-“_

_“Those reassurances does not assure me that our men would be safe, Hange. More of our men will die so needlessly. How can you be so sure that the enemy’s planes won’t kill any of us in a slaughter?”_

When he had shouted that, he was certain that he saw Hange look so ashamed of her own self. Erwin had not meant to shout at her nor did he blame her. She believed in the great power and might of their nation but Erwin did not.

The blond haired captain had lost that great patriotic belief so long ago in the trenches and mud of Southern France.

He knew he had to keep going on for as long as he could, even if he despised it. Even after everything, he had to keep going on.

But in that moment, he couldn’t help but finally become a powder keg that exploded wildly into the horizon.

He was frustrated that he could not fly with his men. He was frustrated that his men were dying all around him without him having to lead them to it. He was utterly frustrated that his men were not being given enough by the high command, being thought of as mere fodder. 

He has had enough.

There was no escape, even from his hospital bed.

He apologized to her immediately after that, which she accepted, knowing that he was utterly and completely fed up.

Moblit admitted his fault and apologized for not only himself but for his boss as well a moment. Erwin knew that if this became military record, Moblit and Hange could face the firing squad. This was something he was not going to ever allow, something he would be willing to do anything to prevent.

Erwin feared for what could happen to them without Hange. Hange was one of his most valued officers losing her would put a halt to the extreme progress they have created thus far and not to mention that as she was his dear friend he would never desire to put her in danger.

But then again, he could see both sides. Because that gave them two things: an advantage and a disadvantage. 

Having Hange near enemy lines to observe and make assumptions would help them a lot with their ability to know the weakness and strengths of their enemy. But at the same time, there was the danger of her being not only captured but even killed.

Erwin weighed his options carefully and gave his answer: she would be allowed to observe in the skies with Moblit, with the latter flying while his boss did her job. They would be accompanied by escort and fighting pilots, two of each flying together as a pack to ward off enemy pilots that could bombard Hange and Moblit. 

And of course if they should need to shoot an enemy, Hange could use her rifle to shoot them down.

“I can tell there’s something on your mind.”

He tried to turn to face her but she urged him to stay still. “I do not have much in my mind.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“How would you know?”

She turned to face him, her hands putting the used bandage in a small bowl. “You think you are not easy to read but you actually are.”

He raised a brow. “Oh?” 

“My grandmother used to tell me that the eyes are the portal of human souls. And whenever I look at you, I always notice your eyes first. Your eyes, they always have different shines to them.” 

He frowned.

Has he been that easy to read all this time or was it only she who could truly do it?

She grabs the scissors, cutting the woolen bandage. “Now, something is bothering you. My ears are as open as an elephant’s.”

“Now that you mention it, your ears are as big as elephants-“She pinched him slightly as he let a small sound out. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You were insulting my ears.”

“You were presuming about my feelings.”

“But I’m correct aren’t I?” She says, grabbing a cotton bud to dip in a small container of alcohol. “You do feel something. So, what is it?”

He took a deep sigh.

“I....I have the urge to fly.” He admitted to her, causing her to pause as the tone of desperate frustration took over him. “I have been frustrated with myself about it for a long while now because I just sit here all day like I’m a sitting duck when I clearly am not.”

“Your wounds are not as healed as they seem to be. You are in no condition to fly just yet.”

“It’s better now, thanks to you.” She sighs at his softened tone as he praised her. “But I just feel so useless down here where I could use my skill to the fullest, not only to win but to protect my soldiers too.”

He didn’t think that she would understand what it feels like for him. He may have returned to work by giving orders and following orders but this is not what he should be doing, that he knows fully, while his men die without his protection. 

“Well, it’s not better as far as I am concerned.” She frowns softly. “ _Rittmeister_ , you are not useless. You are the one planning each act to perfection, you are the one making certain that your men have resources and the strength to carry their own duties. Being a sitting duck doesn’t mean you are not trying your best to bring out results.”

“That’s different.”

“How am I supposed to be a leader down here, unable to protect my men in the skies?”

Putting away the cotton, she started to wrap the bandage about his head. “Your men are well trained and proper to your standards. They’ll be able to protect themselves just fine.”

“My father used to say to my brothers that leadership isn’t always in the battlefield.” She gives him a small smile. “ _Rittmeister_ , you are doing more than enough considering your current status. You must allow yourself to first recuperate before even thinking of going back up there. Otherwise, you will not be able to give your best for your men, you know.”

He was stunned into silence by her words. 

“Your father must have been a drunken man, perhaps even a drunken wise man.”

She laughs at his words. “Oh, you have no idea how correct you are.”

“Why are you still calling me _rittmeister_?” He asked her as soon as she finished wrapping the bandage around his head. 

She gives him a confused look. “Because it is your title, isn’t it not?”

“But we have become good friends, yes? There is no need to call me by my title in private.”

“That would be improper-“

“I insist, in fact I even order you to do so.” He smiles at her as he rises, towering over her as she starts to clear everything away and clean her hands into a small white cloth. “Call me by my name when we are alone, alright?”

“I suppose then I cannot ignore your orders.” She returns his elated smile with her own, putting aside her medical kit. “Call me by my name as well, Erwin.”

He could feel the surge of warmth within him when she says his name, it was unlike anything else to hear it from her lips. “If you say so, Erzsebet.”

“Now, what do you have as your tea?”

“Earl grey. Would you like some?”

She grins as he offers her a seat. “My, so chivalrous. Yes, indeed. I would like some.”

In that moment of splendid tranquility, Erwin Smith suddenly forgot his frustration as he got enraptured by the warm conversation of Erzebet Dawk.

He didn’t even notice the planes leave without him.

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 **JEAN KIRSTEIN HAD NEVER FORGOTTEN HOW QUICKLY HE HAD FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE FREEDOM IN THE WIDE OPEN SKIES.** This was one of his motivations in becoming a fully integrated pilot in the air service, his desire to see what was beyond the clouds. To be a spectator to what could be so beautiful enough that humanity would surge forward to go above and beyond to build such contraptions to take them there. 

Perhaps the only thing he could agree about with that stupid officer Jaeger.

The first time he flew after his decision to join the air service, Jean did not know he was immediately captured by it. His childhood friend Marco had been the one that had flown before him, telling him of all his feelings about the thing he had dubbed a as a marvel to mankind. Of course he listened but he did not take it to heart. He was only doing this to prove his honor nothing more. 

Uncertain and a doubtful skeptic, Jean did not believe anything until he saw it himself. And when he did, it was as if his world had opened completely for the first time in his life. His heart wholeheartedly won by the beautiful freedom that lay beyond the white cotton clouds. A quiet place of relief that was opened to him, as if it was the kingdom of god was reaching out for him to bless him.

But he quickly realized that despite the freedom he had felt then had no place in the middle of a great war.

In the stillness of the beautiful tranquil existence of the blue sky he had come to love, Jean Kirstein could hear the loudness of the roaring engines as if it was a thousand hammers going against an anvil. He could hear the loud deafening echo of machine guns through the air as if it was the aftermath of a great powerful thunder. 

He had been in the _Jasta SAT I_ for almost a few months and the sight of all of this had never been easy, even after all the time that had passed.

The sight of his comrades spinning through the sky like magnificent eagles fighting against the prey made him feel nauseated, as he could only watch as most of them either won the duels to be the victors and the others to be the prey themselves with their wings plucked away from under them to never fly again in the vanishing flames.

Jean felt the wetness of his brows slowly cascade down his cheeks, his hand gripping the controls as tightly as he could while he pushed away from his exploding prey. Watching him fall like a bird on fire, he could only let out a small growl as he once more failed to go for the wings instead of the machine.  He knew that the kill would probably not count.

If he was being honest, it would have been easier if he had attacked all his current scores by the machine. That would mean an easy win for him if he played his cards right and bought enough time to go from behind and then ambush the enemy. But Erwin Smith, a man who was not even here, demanded some sort of ridiculous notion of honor.

Jean respected the man that Erwin Smith was. He was a hero of the empire even before he was a hero in the trenches. He spent half of his life within the disciplined arms of the military and at the center of political and nobility circles all his life. But this was war. There was no honor in war as far as he was concerned. If the Russians think they can just feel like killing one of their own, Jean Kirstein was very sure that he deserved the right to avenge his fallen comrades. 

That is what the rule should be.

As he flew on a more leisurely pace through a lower altitude, he felt his eyes meet that of Eren Jaeger’s. Eren had managed to bring down planes as cleanly as you would cut a turkey with a skilled hand with a butcher’s knife. Eren was one of the staff officers of the _Jasta_ , albeit even if he was just at the very end of that long list of hardened veterans, he has that sense of entitlement and arrogance which Jean did not like.

It was a nightmare come true for him when it was announced that he would be under Eren’s flying unit. He despised the idea of ever receiving orders from someone who was not only his age but also someone who was someone he could not get along with. But he made no complaints, knowing that he was just the new guy while Eren had been already established and known especially within the aristocratic circles.

Still, he decided that he would focus more on his duties rather than his annoyance with Jaeger. Though he did not see that the others within the unit were terrible. 

Armin Arlert was the mechanical engineer in the group and he was someone Jean liked to talk to, not to mention he was smart and was the one making sure his plane was on top shape. Connie Springer was another of their fighter pilots, someone the young man considered an idiot with bad jokes but he was good at maneuvering against the enemy in precarious situations.

Jaeger was a great pilot as well, that he could admit. Despite whatever they had between them, the kill count number between them was vast and Jaeger knows Galicia better than he could ever know as the future duke was assigned here since last year along with the _Jasta_ itself. 

Perhaps sometimes, he even envied him. Eren was already well established in life the moment he was born. Even before his brother had given up his title, the second son already had a better future than Jean could possibly have in his entire lifetime. He had the talent, the attitude and the charisma to survive even if he was naïve and boisterously annoying. 

“ _Scheisse!_ “ He mouthed as he and Jaeger spotted one of the planes they had been warned about flying above them, firing down at them. Jean forced all the strength he had to pull away, as did Eren.

The plane with the imperial eagle of the Romanovs glistening from above them with such ferocious speed, spiraling around the sky like a hurricane about to swallow them whole. There was no fear in the green eyed Jaeger as he pulled away into the combustive cluster of clouds high up in the clouds, forcing a horrified Jean to do the same. 

Jean had not seen anything like that since his move here in the Galician sector. Sure there were impressive and clever well delivered tactics by the Russian foes he had faced thus far. But nothing so bold and out of the open like that before had made him feel such piercing fear on a flight before. 

Jean did not know what he was doing now as he settled into a more leisurely pace up in the clouds. Wasn’t he told that if he had to choose from flying or fleeing, fleeing would be better if he was smart enough not to get himself killed? Wasn’t that the _rittmeister’_ s rules as well?

“There must always be a thin line between being a coward and being a victor.” Jean mumbled to himself repeatedly as his head turned around, hearing the faint sounds of roaring engines. “Assess the situation. If you cannot win, you fly away. But if you win, fly close and aim well.”

Soon, he could feel the engine getting louder and louder as he moved forward. Jean swallowed the lump down his throat. 

The foe reappeared with a smirk, eyes shining like molten gold. Perhaps it was his gear that hid the truest color of his gaze. But Jean did not like the smirk on his lips. They seem too smug to him.

Jean spun down fast, falling engines and shards of bullets rained all around him with smoke and flame. The enemy kept up with him easily, the proud young man unable to shake him off his tail. This pilot was not giving Jean any quarter or space to breathe, he wanted to see the young man become his play thing. 

Fire came from above as Jean could only watch the most familiar face in his life raining down hellfire as he moved quick, almost as if baiting the pilot to follow him instead. Jean bit his lip as he watched Marco spin back around when the pilot ignored him, firing more bullets down on him from a higher altitude.

The pilot’s smirk became a curled frown, his eyes narrowed as he flew to meet the freckled young man head on. Jean forced his speed to follow the sight of Marco Bodt who from his angle was about to be trapped, watching the enemy speed up like he did before, his spiraled move stabbing against the wind. His eyes widened when he realized what the man was about to do.

He was about to ram his own plane to Marco’s.

“Marco!” Jean felt his voice scream in desperation as he forced his plane to move even faster, not caring about his fuel supply. 

Marco’s face glowered in horror as he tried to raise his plane up.

Spits of fire came from the back of the enemy, ripping off the bottom half completely with the harsh impact. Watching him horrifically fall into a hurricane as his engine caught fire in such an alarming speed, Jean was about to puke when he noticed the one who had saved his friend’s life. 

Levi Ackerman gave him a small look as he released a signature ‘tch’ as he looked towards Marco who gave him a small nod as thanks. The _oberleutnant_ had been watching them carefully, knowing that they were as green as the grass, being new in this sector. As much as this was something Erwin had asked him to do, he too wanted to ensure the safety of their men too. 

He cared more than people cared to think.

Eren appeared out of nowhere as two more of the same enemy came at him, as the three’s stunned and clueless gazes became apparent. What the hell was he doing bringing more of these bastards, he thought, they already had a hard time with one and yet he brings two more?

Levi gave Eren a long angered stare as he took on one of them in a single combat duel, forcing the three of them to face this one. This was not something Erwin would be delighted to hear about. Jean’s look hardened as this enemy came for Marco, being he was in the front. 

He turned to Eren who nodded as they flew side by side, synchronizing to one another as suddenly two more Russian fighter planes appeared, following the lead of the one chasing the young freckled man.

Marco made the effort to break away or tried to find a way for him to be able to fight against them as spitting bullets landed upon his plane’s back ripping up the angel he had painted only a week before. He frowned as he tried to heighten his plane’s altitude but soon he was cornered and fires came from all sides. All he could do was try and maneuver his plane.

Eren immediately angled himself to shoot one down as Jean followed suit to do the same, bringing them both down as they spun around like leaves through the wind.. Jean found his engine being shot at, fuel fluttering out like water spilling out of like a sprinkling hose. 

As he screamed with anger from the top of his lungs, Jean shot him thoroughly  Immediately, both planes rammed into the other and both caught on fire as it descended like a magnificent meteorite, flames echoing from the tail of their planes. 

But one remained their problem. 

Marco, turning to find some breathing space, maneuvered to attack the enemy pilot as he flew above him. The enemy was skilled though, making a move or two to follow him and fired his machine gun to the body of his plane, hitting and letting holes go through which narrowly missed the young man.

Eren and Jean continued to follow suit, raining fire on the pilot but none of their bullets landed precisely enough to let the plane fall. But soon, both men found themselves in a stalemate. Eren had run out of bullets from his battles and Jean’s guns were malfunctioning, even though he had been forcing the mechanism to work once more. But alas, it was not.

 Jean looked at Eren, face filled with fuel blending with his tears as he knows that this means. Eren returned the gaze, grim eyes knowing too well that if their comrade does not find a way to get himself out of his, he would die.

As they could only watch now, Marco struggled to keep the pilot off him even after he returned the bullets back to him and wounding him in the shoulder. Smoke blew out of the front as the enemy pilot gritted his teeth, feeling the pain on his shoulder, flew away into the bundle of clouds. Marco could only cough as the smoke blew directly at his face.

Jean could feel the tears upon his face hardened as Marco started to strip off his gear and throwing them off. His safety belt disregarded immediately as he started to chant the Our Father as he tried to be calm enough to accept what could happen next. The freckled young man turned to look at both of them, a sad smile upon his face as if to say goodbye. 

Even then looking like the chivalrous knight he always wanted to be, Jean could not hold back everything in him as he and Eren together stayed with him as they flew downwards to the unknown.

Jean felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 **THE CHAMBERS FILLED WITH PEOPLE AS THEY BROUGHT THE WOUNDED AND DYING PILOTS INTO THE CLINIC TENTS.** Petra had found herself feeling guilty, wishing they had more to do than just giving out health reports as she stared at these men fully stunned with bullets. Some were already dead, in rows in beds in the silence as their crew quietly sobbed and mourned. Petra had been quite aware of how terrible war could be to any man or woman, she had seen it fully with her own two eyes. 

But somehow it felt different and she could not explain why.  But as she tended to Berthold Hoover’s forehead, stitching through the wound which had resulted from a bullet’s graze, she wondered if it was the lack of proper facilities or medicinal drugs that bothered her. 

Was it the fact that there were only four of them when back then they were staffed with at least a hundred or so? Or was she doubting herself and her skill to do her job as the massive influx of men wounded came through to ask for her aid?

Petra did not know the answer and she did not bother to as she finished stitching his head.

“You should be more careful next time, Hoover.” She exclaimed to him as she watched him stand. “You should know that you won’t be lucky all the time to just get grazed by bullets.”

Berthold gave her a small smile. “Thank you for worrying about me, Nurse Rallenstein. I appreciate it very much. I’ll try to be more careful next time.”

“Now go on. I don’t think you’ve had lunch just yet.” He nodded at her as he joined his friends Reiner and Annie as they headed towards the mess hall. 

Before she could call out for the next patient to come as she washed her hand in the clean water in a small basin, she could hear someone asking for space as he led someone inside with great care. People started to gasp and mutter as they saw who it was. Petra narrowed her eyes, causing them to widen as she found Levi Ackerman being brought in with his hand on his stomach to keep the pressure of the blood within.

“Dear god, what happened?” Those are the only words that could mouth as she and the young red headed man sat him down on one of the empty beds. 

“The _oberleutnant_ , he was fighting up in the sky and it was just terrible, frau Petra-“

“Shut the fuck up, Floch.” Levi managed to croak despite the pain. “Just fucking get to it simply. Some Russian bastard fucking shot me.”

Petra took to getting clean wet cloth as she started to remove his hand from the wound. “What?”

“Did you wash your hands?”

Still perplexed, all she could get out was, “Why are you asking this now, _herr_ Ackerman?”

“Lady, I’ve read historical books before and do you know what truly kills people?”

“Wars? Bandits? Murder?” She tried to make his hand budge.

He groaned as he refused her. “No, fucking disease. And I will be fucking damned if I get to die in the fucking center of fucking disease. So just fucking answer the question, did you wash your hands or not?”

“Yes! I did, _herr_ Ackerman. Now please, let me see how deeply the wound goes!” He managed to gather his strength to roll his eyes as he removed his hand from where the bullet was. Petra carefully wiped off some blood, feeling relief as she found that it was not too deep but deep enough to cause him some painful discomfort and blood loss. It was also lucky to miss vital organs which would have made it even worse.

“Okay, I’ll have to clean the wound up first, _herr_ Ackerman. Then carefully, I’ll have to remove the bullet. _Herr_ Floch, please hold him when I say so, otherwise he’ll fight me back.”

“No, no. I may have let you look at it but I’m not gonna let you remove it. Where the bloody fuck is _leutnant_ Zoe?”

“She still hasn’t arrived, sir.” Floch was the one that answered as Levi looked at him with a glare, causing the red head to cower. “I-I...I’m sorry, sir!”

“Look, this is not as fatal as it seems but if you don’t allow me to do my job now _herr_ Ackerman and letting it be dirty and rot would allow infection to settle in and that indeed will kill you. Your fear will of dying by dirt and germs will actually become real.” 

He frowned at her. “Does your rank really allow you to talk to me like that, brat?”

Petra sighed as asked Floch to put pressure on it with the cloth to prevent more blood from spilling out of him. She washes her hands. “It’s your call, actually living or actually dying? Which do you want more?”

He looked at her once more and pursed his lips. A sigh lets out of him one moment as he groaned through the pain and settling down on the bed on his own accord. She smiled at him as he watched her turn to get her materials. 

“You better wash your hands before you get your paws on me, girl.”

She turns holding a piece of a rubber belt. “Affirmative but first you might want to put this on your mouth. It might hurt.”

“I’ll just fucking scream like everyone else if it hurts.” He says to her. “Fucking hell, it already hurts bad enough. What more could make it worse?”

“The medicinal alcohol.”

“Pour me one of those.”

She raised her brow at him as she raised the distilled vodka up for him to see. “This is going to be of use to your wound, _herr_ Ackerman. Not for your lips to taste.”

“I’ll go without the vodka in my wound, water should be fine so hand it over.” She nods and gives it to him as he forces himself to half sit up with his hand firm around Floch’s shoulder, smudging his uniform with blood. 

He uses his cleaner hand to lift the bottle of vodka a little higher than his lips and downs it. Once he finishes, he hands it back to her and lets his strength force him down to rest his head on the pillow. 

“Alright, let’s get this over with so I can shoot the bastard who did this to me.”

Petra did not hesitate and as promised, Levi Ackerman screamed as she did her job.

By the end of it, Levi Ackerman had to be sedated with morphine.

Petra estimated that he’ll be out of the battlefields for now.

The _oberleutnant_ will not be pleased to be awake later.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**THE SCREAMING WAS STILL GOING ON AS BOTH JEAN KIRSTEIN AND EREN JAEGER FOUGHT OUTSIDE OF THE TENT AS THEIR FRIEND’S LIFE HUNG IN THE BALANCE.** It had been hours since their mission had finished Mikasa thought and yet there was still more casualties to look after. Out of the fifty that had fought out today, twenty five of them had been confirmed only to be slightly or mildly injured, fifteen of them have been seriously injured and ten more have been confirmed dead. 

Marco Bodt had been lucky enough to be considered as seriously injured as his friends had managed to help him force a landing into the river which stopped the fire from spreading too much in his engine. 

Both pilots Kirstein and Jaeger managed to get across the river and back to base without the Russians noticing, leaving behind their plane as they carried their friend back to safety. They had managed to get the young man back in time for Mikasa to be able to treat him and assure both men that the man would be alright. Mikasa though had to tell them that one of his leg would have to be amputated if it does not heal just like she expected.

Jean had been so thankful for her being able to do something for his friend, embracing her as the tears rushed to her face. She was perplexed since she was only doing her job but having thought about it, _herr_ Kirstein was a friend of _herr_ Bodt. 

If anything, her helping someone’s childhood friend would mean a great deal to that person’s friend. She thinks she would feel the same if something happened to Erzsi and someone helped her, Mikasa would be in that person’s debt for the rest of her life. Her lips fell into a flat line. She mustn’t think about anything bad happening to Erzsi.

“Jean, you shot the poor bastard to pieces, have you no honor?” Eren Jaeger hissed as he pointed towards the tent, causing Mikasa to sigh as she stared at the bed with the white sheet covering the dead. “You have broken the rules!”

Jean Kirstein had found the bastard who had shot his dear friend when the afternoon rounds came. He had been so furiously intent on killing the man that he shot the poor bastard to pieces. 

“So what if I broke the rule, huh, Jaeger? That fucking bastard nearly killed my best friend and I am paying him back for it! This is war, Jaeger and if you don’t get that very soon, you’ll end up being killed!”

“You are naïve, aren’t you, Jean?” Eren angrily retorted back. “We may be at war but there is still a way to have some good in the world, to have some chivalry by sparing our enemies even though they do not do the same for us. This proves we are better than them, that we won’t let our rage get the better of us by being butchers!”

“We are already butchers, Jaeger. Are you too blind to see that, you idiot? You still shoot down men like they’re something to hunt in the wilderness. Like this is some sport. I don’t like what I see, Jaeger. You are all brilliant pilots but you all have the wrong attitude here!”

“Our job is to shoot the planes, not the man for fuck’s sake! Most men in the flying services are trained well enough to force a landing even after we damaged their wings or punch bullets through their fuselage. We disrupt their information trade or their aerial support. But we never, ever kill the man! What part of that do you not understand?”

“Will you shut up already?” Mikasa finally decided to emerge from the tent, pushing the two men away from one another. She gave them one look after the other. “There are patients that are in need of rest, including _herr_ Bodt. They do not need your stressing fights.”

Eren and Jean looked at her, feeling guilt swallow them whole. 

“If you want to fight, take it away from my medical tent and go and fight it off in some far flung field because this will not solve anything between the two of you.”

“I...I’m sorry, Mikasa. I didn’t mean to anger you or cause you distress.” Eren whispers to her as she places a hand upon his own. He squeezes it tightly as Jean’s jaw tightened. 

She turned to Jean and gave her hand to his own, squeezing his tightly giving him warmth. His features softened at her act. He looks down. “I’m sorry for letting you hear such things come from me, Mikasa. I didn’t mean to cause harm.”

“Just don’t do it again next time, alright?” She gives them one of her small rare smiles and nods towards them, taking her hands from them. “Now, both of you. You better get some rest. I’m sure you need to have some food and some rest. Tomorrow is another busy day, is it not?”

“Jaeger, Kirstein.” Moblit Berner calls to them as he walks to them, still in his piloting gear. “The rittmeister wants to see you.”

“I think busy just came right now.” Eren whispered as Jean hissed under his breath. Eren turned to Moblit. “Where is the rittmeister?”

“In the tent beside this where we are.” Moblit points to where he had just come from. Eren and Jean gulped. “He could hear both of you clearly. Both of you want to talk, don’t you?”

“I’ll take my leave then.” Mikasa patted their shoulders encouragingly.

“Oh, frau Ackerman, frau Dawk would like to speak to you later.” Moblit says as he walks away. “I’ve got to go, leutnant Hange is excited to do some work.”

Thank you, herr Berner. I’ll be sure to pray for your soul too.”

Moblit only laughed, but Mikasa was sure he might have been crying.

Mikasa went back to her medical tent a little while later.

Eren and Jean swallowed the lump on their throats, gathering strength.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 **“FUCK, REALLY?” LEVI ACKERMAN EXCLAIMED IN A LOW TONE AS ERWIN SMITH SAT IN FRONT OF HIM, SIGHING.** Erwin Smith had been friends with the dark haired man for almost all his life and he had known well enough about his inability to accept thing easily, even if it was good or bad news. He supposed it’s one of the worst things his friend has yet to get rid of.

“What do you expect me to do? Let you continue to fly while you’re injured this way?”

“Yes, damn it!” Levi exclaimed aloud as he tried to sit up but the pain still was present in his stomach. “That fucking nurse from earlier that removed the bullet lied. It still fucking hurts.”

“You kept moving around.” Erzsebet Dawk exclaimed as she stood beside the _rittmeister_. “She couldn’t get it out properly if you kept screaming like a sissy.”

“Try having a bullet in your stomach, damn it. Maybe you’ll understand.”

“This is my point on why you can’t fly your plane until that wound is well again, Levi.” Erwin rubbed the temple of his head. “You’ll be removed from active duty until you are healed and that is final.”

“Erwin, no way in hell am I gonna be a sitting duck-“

“Nurse Rallenstein will be your nurse.” Erzsi snorted softly as she saw Levi’s horrified look.

“Oh, she’ll take good care of herr Ackerman here. She’s a swell nurse.”

“Fucking hell, I didn’t agree to have a torturer as my care taker, Erwin.” He frowned. “I can take care of myself, you know that don’t you?”

“But you won’t have to because you will be cared for.” The _rittmeister_ exclaimed, giving the man a small smile. “Besides, you know that we will need you soon in the field. Who knows, maybe the Kaiser will send you some good food and a medal for bringing down the enemy’s best.”

“Oh fuck off, you bastard.” But then Levi paused. “Wait a second, did you say _‘we’_?”

“There is no other way.” Erwin exclaimed calmly as Levi shook his head in disbelief. “My head is nearly healed. Frau Bratsche has already agreed to my decision.”

She sighed. “I do not agree with it but judging by your wound closing, you still need a few weeks or so. But considering you’ll be taking tests to see if you are good enough to go back to the skies, it might take a month or so.”

“I can’t believe this.” The dark haired man grumbled as he sunk deeper into his bed. “Who is going to lead in the skies while the wait happens?”

“Moblit.” Levi took a breath of relief.

“Oh thank fuck.” 

“Only because Hange will be busy with something else, Levi. It just happened to be the arrangement.”

“No, it’s the right arrangement. God knows what happens if fucking four eyes leads our pilots. We might not have any more pilots after that.”

“I think that is all good then.” Erwin smiled as he stood up from the chair. “Get frau Rallenstein to get Levi some food. Is stew what we have for dinner?”

“Yes, I already went to eat myself earlier.”

“Ah, good. That’s Levi’s favorite food. Bring some tea as well, earl grey and don’t put anything inside. This bastard is a purist.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Just because I’m a fucking purist, doesn’t mean you should discriminate at me like that.”

“No, you should be discriminated for judging other people for putting milk or honey in their tea.”

“Because that’s not tea, Erwin. That’s just some perversion of it.” Levi grumbles back at him as Erwin and Erzsi laugh. “It’s not funny, damn it.”

“I’ll go get Petra and-“

“ _Rittmeister!_ ” Marlowe Freudenberg exclaimed suddenly, entering the room as he tried to catch his breath. “I...I have come with news.”

Erwin’s posture grew tense as his brows furrowed as Erzsi looked curious herself beside him as well. “Yes, soldier. What is it?”

“A car had just arrived.” He exclaimed to him, finally catching his breath. “It has the coat of arms of the house of _Esterhazy_!”

Erzsi’s eyes slightly widened as Erwin nodded and turned to Levi. Levi sighed. “Fucking hell, he just arrived?”

“I think I should go.” Erzsi nodded as Erwin smiled at her. “I’ll see you later.”

Erwin nodded to both of them and left through the tent.

He saw Jaeger and Kirstein surge forward, eyes wide and body pale as he came out. 

Erwin lifted a hand forward as both tried to approach him. "We shall speak tomorrow men. I have urgent matters to deal with. Will that be alright with you both?"

The relief in their faces was more than enough to solidify that they were quite alright with it.

Erwin walked alone in silence from the fields to the building.

Heading towards the outside, he nodded at the guards.

The driver got out and opened the door.

Andras Alexander Nile Louis von Battenberg Esterhazy de Galantha, princely count Esterhazy de Galantha came out of the car, meeting face to face with the friend he had not seen in years.

A smile echoed on his lips. “Erwin, it’s good to see you again. Or should I call you _Oberstleutnant_ now?”

Erwin’s face remained dignified and hard to read. He put on a smile. “I’m quite surprised you’re bringing news I have no idea of.”

“Oh? Then I am the first to bring it to you, dear friend?”

“Yes, just as I am the first to bring you the news of the birth of my second daughter.” Nile smiled and Erwin returned it. “I’ve come as soon as I arrived in Pryzemsl to congratulate you.”

“Shouldn’t I be congratulating you as well on your new child?” Erwin asked as Nile laughed, hugging him which the man had returned without reservation. “How is your  darling wife?”

“Marie is fine.” Nile explains to him. “The child will be baptized in Berlin, you know Marie’s father. He never likes Marie away from him. Since you’ll probably be going to Berlin as well, I should hope you would be her godfather.”

“I...” He did not know what to say. “How about we speak about it inside, a good cup of whiskey along with us?”

“Just like the old days, huh?” He nodded and smiled. “Lead the way.”

Erwin Smith was not certain where the night would go.

But he knew that sooner or later, he would have to go to Berlin.


	7. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘There were very few people I could hope   
> To speak with that would not judge me for   
> The details revealed in our conversations,  
> Nor judge me outright for my lowly origins.  
> But nevertheless, I found someone other than   
> Erwin who would be willing to have such interesting  
> And challenging conversations with me, which I admit  
> Has kept me more alive in this war in a very long time.  
> There is so much death and violence when really one   
> Only truly ever needs a bottle of vodka and the best   
> And wittiest of banters that could be had in this life.  
> Maman, do not worry for me too much, for Erwin and myself  
> Are of very healthy and of sound mind and I am resting  
> Well enough thanks to this certain someone, albeit a little extreme  
> She is but she is kind and wonderful enough.  
> Hugs and kisses to you, Maman.  
> Your loving son, Levi.  
> -A paragraph from the letter of Oberleutnant Levi Ackerman to his mother Kuchel Ackerman (1916)

 

 

CHAPTER VII

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _“Conversations”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**THE SUNSHINE HIT HIS FACE TOO WELL AS HE SCHEMED THROUGH ANOTHER SHEET OF PAPER, HIS HAND TIED TO THE PEN WONDROUSLY SIGNING HIS NAME DOWN THE EDGE OF THE PAPER.** Erwin had not been a stranger to penning a letter of grievances and condolences, it was something he had done all his life. Before he even joined the military, there were many in both side of his families that were either dying of childbirth, illness or old age. Some had even died in some skirmish in Germany or England’s colonies. He had never forgotten to write to them expressing such loss sometimes he did not even have for those family members.

Unlike many of his family members, he had not cared to remember most of their faces nor their names during family gatherings. It was only a nuisance to do so, there were so many of them sharing the same name that he had decided he would just politely smile and nod at them.

Family, he thought laughingly. They don’t even know who he completely is. If not for his status in the army and as a _Graf_ , they would not even bother to care learning what his favorite meal was.

But there was something about the idea of him writing the letters of condolences about the soldiers he had come to cherish more than his own family. Every single one letter he signed, he felt a though another dagger had been stabbed into his chest along with the thousands that had already pierced it.

Erwin knew these people better than he knew his family members. He knew their birthdays, their cities and villages, their background. In spite of his desire to keep to himself, he still talked with them about their families and how wonderful their homes are. He ate and drank with them in their own posts even though there would be food prepared for him that befits his rank.

He participated in their little shenanigans around the trenches and the camp, even though they should be doing some work that day. He would listen to them talk about their dreams and their troubles, managing for one moment to treat him like a regular soldier just like any single one of them. They made him feel like a regular human man, not like the god above the skies those old senile men in Berlin make the world think him to be.

And that is why he grieves in the solace silence of his own loneliness, allowing the soldier to break into the sorrowful and guilty man. He grieves their losses, even though he thinks he has no right to when he was the one who had sent them to their deaths. He grieves even though a leader could not be seen to mourn nor break for there are many who rely on him to have strength.

He grieves even though there is no point in it because all those wonderful souls he had come to know would never be able to come home to be with their own beloved families to grow old and to find what fulfillment and satisfaction they could find in this cruel and unforgiving world.

Finishing the last letter as he let the ink dry, he placed it among the others that had dried already. Soon, he decides to fold them himself and wrote the names of his fallen comrades and their addresses. A part of him had wished that he could be giving these letters himself like he had been able to two years before when he had gotten home for the new years following his injury. Thinking it dishonorable enough that he had gotten their loved ones killed, the least he could do is tell them in person.

But there would be no time for him to do that, having announced his return to active duty much to the delight of both the high command and the Kaiser himself. Even if sending these letters and the fallen soldiers’ remaining belongings back to the grieving families, he knew that it would never justify completely of the ones they had lost.

A knock came onto the door. Erwin’s lowly gaze started to shift upwards, his body stiffening as he leaned backwards to the chair. When the door opened slightly, he sees Moblit Berner come in, a brown envelope upon his left arm.

“ _Fahnrich_ Berner.” He greeted as the dark sandy blond saluted to him, murmuring his boss’ title. “Please be at ease.”

The man’s stature started to loosen as his left hand placed the brown envelop on the _Oberstleutnant_ ’s desk. “I’ve come to give the results of _Leutnant_ Hange Zoe’s findings from flight observation later this week, sir.”

“I see.” Erwin takes the envelope from the man carefully as he placed it in front of him. “You made sure that it was a proper report before you sent it to me, yes?”

“I have, sir....I made sure that the colorful language of the _Leutnant_ is properly assessed for reporting.”

Erwin nodded thankfully. “Good. We don’t need another fiasco about her style of reporting. Not especially if it’s going to be read in the capital too.”

“Of course, sir. We strive to never let that happen again.” Moblit promises to him.

“Is that all, Fahnrich Berner?”

“Actually sir, do you remember the situation I had brought to your attention about Jaeger’s unit?”

Erwin nodded. “Yes, I do. What of it?”

“I think it should be resolved now, sir. The sooner you make them both understand why you made rules, the better.”

Moblit could feel his bones starting to feel cold at the stare the _Oberstleutnant_ was giving him. “I see. You are right, Berner. The sooner the better. Have them come to my office immediately.”

“They are already outside, sir.” Erwin halted his process of opening the report. “They came willingly.”

The blond haired man sighed, setting aside the report and putting his hands on the table. “Very well. Let them come in. Thank you for your advice, _Fahnrich_ Berner.”

Moblit saluted to him as he left through the door. Erwin could hear mumblings through the corridor and then it stopped. Erwin Smith could see the Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein come through the door with a salute to him as the door closed by Moblit himself as he soon disappeared after.

“Please, there is no need to be stiff and proper now.” Erwin exclaimed to the young men as they looked at one another. “Be at ease and sit down, gentlemen.”

Silence plagued them as Erwin took a silent breath.

“You must be wondering why you are here, yes?”

“Sir, I know we messed up and disobeyed your rule.” Kirstein started to rumble. “But honor doesn’t do us much in war, sir. If I didn’t do what I did, my friend would be dead by now-“

Eren glared at him. “Jean, don’t interrupt the _Oberstleutnant_! He isn’t done speaking and you’re rumbling about that already-“

“It is fine, gentlemen.” Erwin eyed them both as they became silent. “You are not here to be reprimanded.”

The young Jaeger looked perplexed as Jean’s mouth opened slightly. “Sir, Then what.... Then why are we here?”

“I’m here to tell you a story.” Erwin exclaimed to them as he moved forward. Jean narrowed his eyes at him. “A very important story, one I have yet to tell. All I ask you to do is to listen.”

The two men, uncertain, reluctantly nodded their heads in obedience.

“It was then the beginning of the war.” Erwin detailed as the memories flashed through his head like it was only yesterday. “I was already in service even before the fighting begun, so I was made an officer the moment the declaration of war was announced through the streets of Berlin.”

Erwin Smith had been living in Berlin for a long before his entrance in the military. His family has kept a home in the very heart of the city as his father had businesses on the front and political meddling on the side. His father had then decided to move away from the city after his mother’s death but considering that he was assigned in the capital as one of the many young officers of the 1. Garde – Infanterie – Division soon after graduating top of his class from the military schooling at Potsdam, the young nobleman decided to stay in his family home there. Though he had various servants and Levi’s presence there, it had been a lonely existence. Especially that for most nights he was working with his older and more superior officers as he rose through the ranks swiftly.

“As members of the 4th Foot Guards, we were all certain that we were all going to be sent to war immediately. After all, we were in Berlin. The Kaiser could decide to mobilize us sooner than the rest of the empire. But we were all hopeful in the end. We grew up being schooled in the greatness of Prussian might and we were determined to show it to the world, especially against the French that we were the best. “

His look turned softened, remembering the faces of his comrades. They all were young men themselves who had spent their years of schooling in the martial expertise of Prussian pride, of German strength and brotherhood. Even if Erwin had been someone who had kept to himself at times, he still engaged them in conversation and shared liquor with them. At the very least, knowing those he was to serve with and how determined they were to be men of Prussia would be proud of was something he believed he had to do.

“And we were deployed.” Jean noticed the sudden grimness of his superior officer’s gaze. “And in a span of a few months, we turned the world into a damn slaughter house.”

If the two men had not been here, Erwin would have been drinking to forget no matter the hours now. Because he could never forget what he had seen nor had done in the battle fronts of the early days of the war, not for one bit could the truth ever be denied in his head. People call him a demon, a monster and so much more that it was the truth in his head.

The smell of the raw earth as it exploded into the air like a raging hurricane, shrapnel was cutting through flesh so easily that at times nothing remained on the soldier’s body but bone and dried blood. The loudness of the thunderous bombardment echoing in their ears so loudly that Erwin thought that it was the heralds of death singing havoc into the earth to announce the end of the world.

The scent of the blood trickling down like it had rained blood, creating small pockets of reddish puddles so thick that one could think it to be spiced wine thrust into the blend of never ending mud. The sight of officer staff like him lying to their men to tell them by the ear as they shake through the bombardment of the forests that had been stripped to a void of death all men wish to avoid lest they wish for death.

But the most horrific was after the battle had finished, when the quiet had walked through them like a welcomed ghost...one would not believe what they would see.

Not even Erwin could with his own two eyes accept the reality.

Not until he had to.

“My unit ended having the most casualties in battles like the Frontiers and the Marne.” He exclaimed to Jean and Eren, whose faces were filled with such intense emotion. “It was the moment I woke up, thinking of nothing but shame. Thinking nothing but the worse of me knowing that I helped kill not only the enemy but all of my men too. And so terribly most of them died. It was the worst things out of your worst nightmares.”

Eren Jaeger looked shattered as he watched one of the most important people he had admired so much on this earth so battered and broken in contrast to the brilliant and calmly collected man he sees every single day since his service begun under this JASTA squadron. The more he listened, the more he started to wonder. What is the truth about Erwin Smith?

“I saw all my friends die, gentlemen. I saw people I thought I saw in the streets get hit by bullets through their skulls. All those men, they had some families, right? Friends, sons and daughters...people they will never get to see again because we are stupid beings, gentlemen. We are utterly and terribly stupid, despite calling ourselves civilized and proper. But there is nothing proper with war. Nothing has ever been proper with killing people.”

Jean Kirstein could see the cracking emotion within the eyes of his superior officer, the raw and tender emotions battling each other and raging as if to win supreme within the blond man. The way he looked at them had been grim, obvious that the memories of two years before were still present to him. But after all that had been told to him and Jaeger, how could one still be the same after all that? How could one still manage to go on alive?

“Do you now see why I made those rules?” Erwin quietly questioned the two young men who nodded without any other word uttered. “There are enough butchers like me in this world. There is no need for more.”

Without a word of anymore farewells and partings other than martial respects, Erwin was left alone once more.

Standing up to stare at his plane as it sat still, he was wondering if he was ready to fly to day with the memories of the past haunting him.

He needed a drink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**ERZSEBET DAWK HAD NEVER EXPECTED TO FIND HERSELF HAVING A CHANCE TO A WALK TO WITNESS THIS SIGHT ONCE MORE.** Erzsi had never been a stranger to the busy sight of any place, much less a busy city. After all, she had grown up in the most chaotic household, where bustling movement had been the cry of the people. Something she had always admittedly found to be of liking and something she always looked forward to when her family would go on trips in different places to visit other family members or just find some pleasure in some different scenery other than the halls of their home.

Which she was in no doubt made her feel the excitement course through her veins.

She would be an adventurer, like her dear papa.

Each and every place she had been in had been a magnificent masterpiece of chaotic wonder for her, thinking of all the people who had lived and passed by in each and every block of the street. The shops that she had seen with the rich vibrant paint in the wondrously huge store signs whilst vendors of produce and services awaited outside the confines of the artistic building complexes calling the attention of potential patrons as they got along with their own lives.

Erzsebet lived for that beautiful mess.

However since the war had begun, she had seen less and less of the beautiful mess she adored and had only seen the sight perhaps no one truly liked to see, the carnage and destruction that only one could see in the pages of books. Erzsi pursed her lips, daring not to think much further of it. Especially knowing that today is her own free day away from work.

As she took in the wonder of the city of Pyrzemsl and the old intricate buildings that surrounded it, she had recalled how adamant she was on taking a break from work especially knowing that Erwin Smith was returning to active duty that day. Erzsi had been filled with worry when she had been fixing his bandage for him, being careful not to tighten it too much as if could damage his head and his hair. But he had assured her that he would be fine without her aid that day.

_“I already told you, frau bratsche. You should not be worrying about me, worry about having an umbrella on this day.” The oberstleutnant exclaimed softly as she was clearing up the old bandage from the previous night. “God knows what could happen to the weather today.”_

_“If you are worried about me walking around in the weather then do not fly at all, you fool. You’ll sound like a hypocrite.”_

_He sighed as he downed his tea. “Then what else am I to say to you, Erzsi? You have barely gotten time for yourself ever since this war begun. This is all you have been doing for what, almost three years? Worrying isn’t something you should do on your day off.”_

_“We can’t all be like you, oberstleutnant, who can come home back to your home without your family preventing you from coming back to the front to do your part.”_

_The blond man pursed his lips in a line. “I know but still, one day will do you well. You are growing wrinkles everywhere from worrying too much.”_

_“I cannot help myself, Erwin.” She sighed as she washed her hands candidly through the basin, glaring at him for commenting on her wrinkles. “You should know as well as I do that this is why I’m here at all. Falling at it, it would be disastrous!”_

_“Let yourself be removed from that now. It’s only for one day.”_

_“One day is quite too long.”_

_“I had to wait months to get back to my plane; one day isn’t going to kill you. I’ll even have someone accompany you.” Erwin smiled at her as she sighed, drying her hands on her white towel. “Try to release yourself from your duties today. That’s an order.”_

_She frowned. “Must you pull rank at me?”_

_“If my orders aren’t going to be heeded in the personal level, might as well pull my rank.”_

_“God, have I said how much I hate your smug smile?”_

_His smile turned into a deep smirk as he poured himself some more tea. “Once or twice.”_

_“Just be careful, alright?” She tells him softly as she took a seat opposite him, as she had done for a few days now when they shared breakfast. “No more getting shot in the head at. It’s going to be ridiculous to treat the same wound twice.”_

_He laughs at her softly and nodded. “If you say so.”_

Erzsi sighed, smiling softly as she fixed the tip of her red brimmed hat with her gloved hand. The burden of every single day’s work had been lifted off her shoulders. That made her smile deepen at the thought of being free from the expectations of others even for one day, something she had struggled with all her life. It was perhaps only right to let him win against her this time. If Erwin had not pointed it out, Erzsi wouldn’t have noticed how overworked she had become all this time. God knows what would have had happened if she had continued to force herself to work even further. Perhaps it would have driven her even madder than before as she poured herself into work to cope with the day to fay reality of the war. She didn’t have to and she shouldn’t have had to.

The fact that she had not taken her liberty of enjoying her days away from the carnage of the battles had been such a pointless notion. Even soldiers, despite staying in their posts on holidays, still tried to enjoy themselves there.

Sleeping in, taking a long walks through the fields, talking with their comrades or even just visiting the villages and cities in the surrounding areas. They were thing she had dreamed of doing for the past three years. And yet she had deprived herself of the same liberties she had been entitled to for such a long time. She let herself curse at her stupidity.

And she had Erwin Smith to thank for it. Of course, she did not take kindly to him pointing out the fading sight of her own beauty from the worry and weariness that had resulted from duty’s call. But she perhaps could thank him for knocking some sense into her.

“The day seems so wonderful.” Erzsi whispered to the wind as Connie Springer walked beside her, dressed in full uniform, stiff and vigilantly alert. She felt her lips pout. “Though it would have been nice if you were not too stiff, _herr_ Springer.”

Connie turned to look at her and sent her an apologetic smile. “Very sorry, _frau_ Dawk. I had been personally assigned to be your protective detail by the _Oberstleutnant_. I do not want to fail him by not being alert.”

“The city is ours, isn’t it not?” She looked at him with a raised brow.

“Yes, _frau_ Dawk, it is.”

“And not to mention that the commander of the fortress is a friend of the _Oberstleutnant_ , isn’t he not?”

Connie blinked, remembering the way the _Oberstleutnant_ spoke to the countly prince when he had brought up some ice for them. “I suppose so, _Frau_ Dawk. But I am still supposed to be on duty...”

“Then I can be assured that we are fairly safe.” She smiled at him, taking his hand. “The Russians cannot make an assault here any longer so long as your fellow soldiers are here. So stop being stiff, now! Enjoy the day with me.”

Connie did not have any choice but to oblige as the older lady pulled him as they ran through the beautifully paved streets of the city. Connie Springer had never been outside the camp premises before. That was the certainty he could boldly tell.

After all, he was new to the idea of Galicia for he had only been here for months after his piloting training back in the homeland and not to mention he was not one to go out of into the city without permission from the chain of command.

The only time he saw some of it is when he would be ready to board the train to go home on holidays to meet with his family. Unlike his friends who went out and partied on their day away from the front, he would be staying behind preferring to work on his plane with his mechanic.

But it had been certain that accompanying the head nurse as she pulled in through the unfamiliar city, he was aware that would all change.

And it did.

Erzsebet Dawk had been adventurous all her life and there had been a desire dwelling in her even as a child to go through place to place, from building to building, from room to room and street to street to seek out anything interesting roaming about waiting only to be found.

A trait she is the proudest to inherit from her father, was her genuine curiosity.

And this city had not been an exception from it.

She went through the small art galleries in the city marveling at the works of local artists and speaking with them about their craft. The purple eyed wonder went through music store to music store, fiddling through the large collection of violins, flutes, violas and much more.

They went through the city square where people made speeches in favor or in opposition of the war. Eating at salons where educators, local politicians and small folk all came together to debate on things like petitions to the old Kaiser or laws and mostly the war and the offensives that had been won by Germanic brotherhood and Russian division.

Connie had felt unsettled by some conversations, growing up in a proud monarchical family such as his own as he heard such liberal ideals flow through as if they were not under a Kaiser Franz Josef. They talked as if they were like the French, who overthrew their kings and queens for the sake of republican ideals. Though he was unsettled, he did not voice his ideals knowing that it did not matter if they agreed to disagree.

But it did give him a surprise to know that Erzsebet Dawk participated in the conversation, sipping cups of tea every so often after the conversation die down into calm rather than spit fires of fervent beliefs flying above them like mortar fire. Despite being a woman who they did not know, the men of the salon found themselves listening to every word. As did Connie Springer.

“I noticed something different in you earlier, _frau_ Dawk.” Connie exclaimed as they walked through the lively streets filled with people rowdy and loud. Erzsi looked at Connie with perplexity in her. “It was as if you were blessed by god himself, the way you talked. You had people’s attention in an instant, even my own despite some of your arguments.”

“It was just an interesting conversation to me, _herr_ Springer. The more interesting it is, the more I would be inclined to participate.” She gave him a small kind smile. “It had been a while since I had such a delightful conversation like that.”

“I would have thought that you and the _Oberstleutnant_ would converse like that, _frau_ Dawk. Considering how smart he is and now finding out you are the same I should wonder that you both would have a delightful conversation too.”

She halted her walk, looking at him with a surprised gaze. “I...I suppose so. But I like to think that it is different.”

Connie’s brows furrowed. “Different how, _frau_ Dawk?”

“Those men there, they didn’t think I could do something. I felt it in the way they looked at me, no matter how charismatic I may be, my words were not something they valued as much as their fellow man.”

“Their eyes?

She nodded as she whispered to the youthful young man. “But when I converse with the _Oberstleutnant_ , he...he thinks much of my words. I could see that in his enigmatic eyes...”

Connie’s eyes widened slightly. “Are you saying that you –“

Her own orbs reflected his emotion too, a blush starting to take over her porcelain face. “Oh no, dear god – No, that’s not what I am trying to point out, _herr_ Springer!”

“I...I am sorry for my words, I may have spoken out of turn –“

“N-no, it’s fine...I know you don’t mean to bring up such a conversation.” She says, placing her gloved hand to hide the reddened side of her face, an embarrassed smile on her lips. “Unfortunately, I am not very lucky as you and _fraulein_ Sasha.”

It was Connie’s time to blush at the mention of the dark haired woman’s name. Connie was a very open man with things involving him. Why would there be need to have secrets if honesty is something that is obtainable? But when it came to Sasha Braus, he found himself to be closed lipped about.

Connie had first met Sasha when he had been sent to the hospital along with Eren to accompany the _leutnant_ Hange Zoe and the _oberleutnant_ Levi Ackerman to see their boss after he had been cared for in the hospital.

He did not initially think much of the young woman until she had offered to share her food with him. Connie had been late that day to breakfast, entirely missing it due to being up all night because of the banter between soldiers he bunked with.

The food had not been in the most delightful in the presence of physical form but having eaten it, it felt like heaven is where he had ended up in. From then on, their closeness grew and soon enough they had ended up kissing as soon as he landed from his plane a few days before as she had finished treating a fellow soldier.

Of course, everyone saw it and heard about it as gossip through the camp.

Connie could only blush at that, looking away as Erzsebet laughed. He looked back hearing the sorrow within the merry laughter.

“Besides, that would not be possible in this life...”

She continued walking away without another word and in fear of losing her in the crowd, Connie quickly chased after her deciding that he would not invade her privacy further. As time passed, they began to converse in small talk and ended up buying certain things as presents and gifts for their friends and family. Connie was certain he blew his salary into the sea by purchasing way too much.

Erzsebet halted as the sight of a large glass window, gazing at something exquisite. Connie took to her side to have a look. It was a beautiful moon shaped emerald gem stone, encased within a gold casing and a leather strapped tie through it. Erzsi had been transfixed in the glistening greenish dew that shined through it, reminding her of Erwin’s own eyes.

“It’s beautiful.” Erzsi whispered as Connie muttered back in agreement.

“This would be the perfect gift to the _Oberstleutnant_ , I’m sure.” Erzsi turned to look at the young soldier. “But he forbids any one from making a spectacle for celebrating and gifting on his birthday. Quite a terrible thing, if you ask me. Birthdays should be celebrated wonderfully!”

“When exactly is the _Oberstleutnant_ ’s birthday?”

“On October the fourteenth, _frau_ Dawk.” Connie smiles at her. He had never told her his birthday despite their many conversations before. “Quite near isn’t it? When he returns from Berlin, he would no doubt return to work immediately regardless of the day.”

“I’m not going to let that happen, we should be celebrating his birthday. Especially knowing he is far from home.” She says determinedly, her brows furrowed defiantly. “ _Herr_ Springer, I know this is too soon but will you check the bakeries here?”

He raised a brow. “Yes, _frau_ Dawk but what for?”

“We’re going to need some cake from them. If there should be a party, there must always be cake!” She declared to the young soldier who still looks reluctant to leave. “Do not worry, I shall be staying here. I have to buy the bolo tie. I think it would make a great present.”

With a look of assurance, she waved him farewell as he sprinted to the nearest bakery. She turned to the store and placed her hand onto the handle, opening it slightly to avoid making too much noise. But the bell still made a hell of a loud cry as she entered the space inside.

“Welcome, _urocza pani_!” The white bearded Polish man smiled at her warmly as she closed the glass door behind her. “Please come in.”

“Thank you.” She replied back just as warmly in Polish. She points at the item behind her by the window. “If it would be alright, I would like to look at the green gem bolo tie you have there on display.”

“Oh of course!” The old man walked through the empty pathway and into the glass viewing as the bells rang. The old man warmly smiled at the new arrival. “Welcome, please come in!”

“Thank you.” The new patron exclaimed in Polish, Erzsi turned her head at the familiar tone of the voice. Rugged and tired as the same man she knew who had always complained about it. Then he had noticed her purple eyes. His own eyes lit up. “Erzsi!”

“ _Herr_ Jaeger!” She smiled as he walked towards her and embraced her, which she had returned. She let go of him, though their hands were still intertwined. “Oh _herr doktor_ , how have you been?”

“I have been well enough, though it would have been much better if I had some sleep and if you called me by my name.” He tells her as she rolls her eyes at him, smiling. But he then gazed at her with a questioning look. “I did not think to see you here in town. Especially alone.”

“It was my day off today and after some urging to enjoy myself, I decided to go.” She explained. “And I am not alone. I had a companion. He went to check something for me, that is all.”

“Oh, that’s swell then. Finally, you are taking some breaks.” He smiles at her. “I should hope this companion of yours has some military experience, enough to protect you.”

“Oh dear _herr_ Jaeger, you know very well that I can defend myself.”

“You should be calling me Zeke and I still worry despite it all, if you must know.”

“Well alright, Zeke. I thank you for your worrying.” She gifted him with a warm smile. “Though I have to wonder, dear Zeke, our base of operations is far from here, is it not? How did you end up here?”

“I was sent a personal request by a friend to treat his wound.” Zeke explains to her as the old man urges them to the counter with the bolo tie. “He was having some headaches, turns out there was a bullet in his head and he had never noticed.”

She gasped as she walked towards the counter. “Truly? How did he survive?”

“By sheer dumb luck, I suppose.” Zeke could only sigh. “I managed to remove it and thanks to some experimental practices I’ve done before, he is still very much alive.”

“Oh thank goodness he is alright, your friend.”

“I am quite thankful too, considering he lent me his chauffeur. The poor man is tired so I managed a halt here in the city.”

“Then I am in luck to see you here, dear friend.”

He smiled at her. “Indeed but I am quite luckier to see you here. You see, we are nearer a court house –“

“Forget about it.” She smiled smugly at him as she faced the old man, conversing with him in Polish.

In the end, she had bought it.

“Who did you buy such an expensive item for?” Zeke wonders as they went out the store, pulling out his cigarettes from his pockets. “You never buy anything expensive for yourself.”

“I’m giving this as a gift to someone.” Zeke raised a brow. “Someone in the Jasta is having their birthday soon.”

“I see.” He nodded at her, putting the cigarette over his thin lips. Slowly, he let the flame gather to the white roll with his lighter. “By the way, I managed to send your letters home.”

“I never have thanked you enough for risking your neck just to send my letters home.”

He smirked at her. “ _Liebe_ , I would do anything to make you smile. I thought you knew that by now?”

 “I still do not consent to wed you.” She smiles at him, causing him to laugh as he inhales the smoke.

“You break my heart then, _liebling_. Perhaps I would not wed because you say no all the time.”

“That is your problem then.”

“I suppose that is true.” He nodded at her, passing the cigarette to her. “Go on, I would know you avoid it on duty unless you are stressed. But you are free today so might as well.”

She sighed, taking it from him and putting it in between her plumped lips. Taking it all in, she removed it from her lips seconds later as smoke poured out of her mouth. She raised a brow. “Huh, the flavor is different.”

“I ran out of French cigarettes. These are the best I could find.” He takes the cigarette back from her. “I’ll try to grab hold of some in the black market.”

“You better.” She says softly as she turns her head from left to right. “ _Herr_ Springer isn’t here still. I wonder which bakery he went to.”

“Depending on how fast he runs, he should be returning soon. The nearest bakery is a bit far, mind you.”

She purses her lips in a flat line. “Maybe I should have just gone with him.”

“But we wouldn’t have been able to go see one another and have this wonderful conversation.”

“I suppose that would be true. Though, I wouldn’t have wanted to see your face.”

“And why not?”

She grins. “It annoys me.”

Zeke fakes a saddened gasp. “Oh how you wound me, madam! I thought we had something special!”

“We do have something special, but not that.” Her laughter rings across the street, something that was not like other lady’s etiquette. “You know if you are free we should have dinner –“

She never got to finish her sentence.

For his lips was against her own.

Zeke pushed her through the bricked wall, almost dropping the bag as his height towering over her as he continued to kiss her while being careful with her head.

He glanced through the back and found that it had passed.

Zeke broke apart from her.

“I’m sorry about that.” He spoke ever so calmly about the situation. He grabbed the bag, checking the item. “It’s not broken. I would have bought you a new one if it was broken.”

She was in shock.

“Why did you kiss me?” She questioned him quietly as she looked up to him, meeting his gaze. “That was so sudden and I...”

“I didn’t think you would have wanted your brother to see you.” Zeke explains to her as he stepped on his already dropped cigarette. “Or would you have wanted him to see you?”

“I....” She still could not mutter out the words to say as he handed her the paper bag.

“Here,” He took to his suit, taking the white handkerchief and started rubbing it on her lips. “Your lip stick is a mess. I should hope you brought some lip stick with you.”

“I...I did bring some, yes.”

“Reapply some later.” He tells her, an apologetic smile on his lips. He wiped the side of his lips as well, knowing fully there was some red there too.

“ _Frau_ Dawk!” Connie Springer called to her as he ran, panting as he did. Stopping a few feet from Erzsi, he took some time to gather his breath. “I....I found...I found the bakery and...they said we just have to make the order...So I got their information and address so we could just....”

She offered him a small smile, albeit it was forced. “Yes, I’ll just call them. Thank you for heeding my request.”

“It was nothing... _frau_ Dawk.”

Connie recognized him as one of the doctors in the hospital then. He greeted him as such and Zeke returned it. Zeke announced, “I think it would be best for me to leave. I would not want to take up more of your time.”

“Of course, _herr_ doktor. We wish you safe travels.” Connie replied.

 “Young man, you best make sure _frau_ Erzsi here is safe and sound back to the base, yes?”

“Yes, _herr_ doktor.”

“Good.” He nodded at him and faced Erzsi. “Goodbye, _liebling_. Write to me, huh? I hope you a safe trip.”

“I hope the same for you.” Satisfied, Zeke gave her one last smile and left.

“You ran into _herr_ Jaeger here, huh? How random.” Connie whispered as Erzsi pursed her lips, touching it with her fingers. He looked at her with a wondering look. “ _Frau_ Dawk, are you alright?”

She immediately dropped her fingers and smiled at him. “I am fine. I’m just tired, is all.”

“Then perhaps we should return to base.”

Erzsebet had never head a better idea in her life.

“Yes, yes we should.”

She did not know how to feel about Zeke Jaeger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**IT WAS THE ECCENTRIC FEELING OF FREEDOM THAT MADE HIM FEEL LIKE A BUBBLY BOY AGAIN.** It made him feel young again, to feel the sky against the very edge of his skin. The soulful harmony of the cloud filled sky as the sun light pierced through so beautifully like the hands of the all-powerful God.

 

Though he was not much of a religious man, whenever he was up in the sky to seek the wilderness of the deep open blue he could not help feel something within blossom like a desert flower alone in a small pond of lone water. The raw emotions of wonder if the almighty hand of the lord above had decided to ignore the mud, blood, gore, chaos, death and turmoil of the deep trenches in the west for the sake of the wonder that could be had in the glory of the sapphire gentleness of the mellow skies.

 

It was truly a sight to behold, a sight that very few have ever seen before with their own two eyes from this vantage point. He couldn't feel nay luckier that the burdens and the chains that enraptured upon his neck from below have been shattered as the plane's magnitude flew higher into the serene new wonders of humanity's horizon.

 

Erwin could only feel so small to the grandeur of it all. Why would he not? He was just human, a tiny speck of dust in this vast and never ending world. He could be replaced, after all there will always be another man that could equal his expertise and his abilities. He was expendable just like any other soldier out there in the battle fronts of the Great War.

 

But unlike him, the sky and everything with it performed a magnificent ensemble of harmonious music that he could never fathom to create or even understand, let alone hope to immortalize it with his own human hands. Its glory was too great for him, he realized. There was no way for him to feel to be equals with it in his entire life.

 

But regardless of that, he supposed that he was willing to enjoy it while he can. Being a realist, Erwin Smith knew it more than to be just a possibility that sooner or later he would fall prey to the harsh cruelty of not only the enemy's guns and flames but also the cruelty of this world. Nothing was fair in this life and Erwin knew that more than anyone else on this earth.

 

Regardless of his higher status in life, Erwin had to fight hard to make his existence feel the sweet fruit of fair affection of destiny. If there was anything he could do now as he sat there, looking down at the calm that one could never expect from war, Erwin resigned himself to appreciate the clarity of the fresh breeze upon the touch of his skin and the unfathomable beauty of the sight before him.

 

Hange had once told him that pilots were like gods. They soared above the sky dictating the outcome of battles, greedily making any situation to turn in their favor regardless the cost of lives, the resources and the morality of each and everyone around them.

 

Erwin had never agreed with her though.

 

He was no god, but rather he was only a hunter watching his prey as he laid the trap.

 

And his prey was planes, not the men. There was no point to savagery or cruelty when there was no space for mercy.

 

Time had been kind to him around this time as he managed to pass his return flight tests in days rather than the usual weeks. Erwin could only be thankful at this point that he was back to do what he could sooner than he would have hoped. Not only was he able to release himself from the confines of the base but he was also letting Moblit Berner breathe after having to take command of the forces due to both him and Levi being forced out of commission due to their injuries.

 

He had already been handling Hange and her research, there was no more need for him to be stressed even further.

 

Though he supposed everyone is delighted with his return to the skies, not only he. The High Command was happy that there was once more powerful leadership in the East, equal enough to take on the aces of the Russian air service. The Kaiser would stop complaining about the Russian war machine and that a new chapter of the Austro-German alliance would begin, securing more victorious exploits for them.

 

And of course, the people of the empires would be delighted to see him back on his aeroplane. They expect much of him for after all he had managed to settle the bar high with his magnificent discipline, his awe-striking tactics and his wonderful charisma that gathers all his men together as one fighting unit that showcases the proud superiority of German pride.

 

Erwin realizes that he could not disappoint them.

 

Perhaps he never will try to.

 

Even if he was pretty sick of this war, he will continue to fight for them.

For it was all he could give in the end as a man of his land.

Erwin turned to look through the misty air of combusted clouds, spotting his men steadily compact a few meters apart to avoid their planes from running towards one another. The formation was perfect as always he thought. No man was further than his comrade or was farther.

He could feel a smile on his lips. They had been learning from him well. A swell of familiar pride dawned onto him, the same feeling as when he had first started this over a year before.

It had been so long since he had begun the Jasta and in that time Erwin could only think with such lamentation and pride of all the things that they had managed to accomplish in the span of a year and a half, the many of his squadron who had come to be lost and the many they had not only hurt but also denied peace in this land and any other land.

Erwin knew that even if there was glory to all of it, the blood stains just as easily through that glory, wiping away the trace of what was only good about it knowing that there had been so much wrong to this.

The deafening sounds of storming machines began to gather through the once peaceful skies as the Russians found them, giving them a wind of bullets. Erwin cursed under his breath as he gathered his hand to move his plane through the open space, barreling through like a shooting star through the deeper sky.

Eyes hardened as he watched the pilot beside him dead as his machine goes on, as more shots fired through its engine fire engulfed the front, only to spiral out of control and fall hard against the winds to crash into a fellow pilot. Nothing remained of them but the broken parts.

The blond man’s lips flattened into a calm line, pushing forward to fire his own storm of bullets towards the two enemy fighters in the chaotic madness, shooting down one of them as fast as he could to avoid getting flanked and soon after the blue eyed man he chased the other.

Erwin let his bullets to the chase, gathering his plane’s speed to match his prey’s own machine who spun magnificently to his left into the kingdom of clouds, forcing Erwin to follow. Erwin stopped firing, finding himself without an opponent but he knew the prey was still there. There would be nowhere to go but the skies.

Then he heard the engine.

Erwin spun away, avoiding the enemy pilot’s wings as he tried to ram his own plane towards his own, wishing to finish the fight immediately. That was good move for sure, the blue eyed man thought quietly. But then again, the result would lead to both of them dead.

He was certain that the pilot too wanted him gone as much as Erwin wanted him gone. Though he would not stoop to the pilot’s level, he was certain that he could bring him down just as well. Excitement coursed through his veins as he removed his leather bounded googles. Erwin felt his lips perk into a small intrigued smirk as the enemy returned the gaze, removing his own goggles revealing the same eyes that had shot him down. The enemy pilot immediately returned the smirk.

“It’s just you and me then.” Erwin exclaimed as he prepared himself for the ride. “Come at me, prey.”

If he had been in a different position, Erwin would have marveled watching how he and his prey were flying. Both of them were using every inch of ground, every fuel they could surge through the engine to battle one another as if this had been another tourney in the old medieval quarters of large stone halls.

A great magnificent battle between two knights as they prepare to deliver the blow against the opponent in the name of honor and chivalry, a great spectacular melee for all the spectators to watch and be struck in awe about. And there was no doubt in Erwin’s mind that everyone that could be watching them was in awe of the battle of two modern knights fighting with their planes.

Both of them managed to deliver blows to one another as Erwin thrust his bullets through the wings his enemy and he retaliated with punching bullets through Erwin’s back damaging the newly painted violet flowers on it.

But by then, Erwin was certain that he would run out of fuel soon and he could see it in the enemy’s eyes that he too would need to land soon.

Erwin surged forward into the embrace of the sky as the enemy followed, both of them lowering altitude through the sky finding a place to land to that would not cause them both of their deaths fleeing the grips of the battle that Erwin could hear through the thin air.

The enemy pilot landed first, into a wide golden field of wheat which had been fully grown. Erwin started to wonder why no one has decided to do some harvesting. Soon, Erwin followed but unlike the successful attempt of his contemporary, he failed his plane falling through a small ditch forcing his plane to land terribly to be stuck through it by the engine.

The _oberstleutnant_ let out a loud curse, causing great amusement to the enemy who opened his canteen to drink from it. He paused to remove the holster of his pistol.

Erwin Smith forced himself out of the cockpit, jumping over removing his gear.

“Damn ditches,” The Russian pilot exclaimed, swallowing his drink. Erwin’s eyes opened slightly as he heard the man speak fluent German. “You know I’ve gotten myself stuck in some of those once or twice, so you aren’t alone there.”

“You speak German.” It was not a question. Erwin saw the man offer up his canteen to him. Erwin took it from him unafraid, drinking some of the contents. Erwin fully recognized who the man was. “Didn’t you shoot me down a couple of months ago?”

“Sure did, Blondie.” The man winked at him, laughing. “Though you did make force to land today. I’m utterly out of fuel.”

Erwin sighed, returning the canteen. He didn’t like the new name on him. “It’s only fair. You shot me down and landed perfectly. A few holes, a dead fin and no fuel on you won’t make it up to me but I suppose that’s what I got now.”

The man once more laughed. “I suppose then that we are equals now.”

“Hm, I’m not very certain about that.”

“Mike Zacharias.” He offered his gloved hand to Erwin’s, introducing himself.

“I know, I heard a lot about you.” Erwin exclaimed, shaking his hand with his own. “Erwin Smith.”

“Oh, I know more about you.” Mike smiled at him, drinking water through the canteen. “You are all over the newspapers in Russia, you know.”

“I suppose they hate me?”

The Russian lifted his canteen in a toast. “Hate is a strong word, the appropriate one, but too strong. Though, all the ones I read were written underground. The Tsar likes his propaganda.”

Erwin snorted. “What a coincidence, so does the Kaiser.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. They are cousins, aren’t they?”

“Well, this whole affair is a family feud, isn’t it?” Erwin wondered as he removed his scarf, tying it to his waist. “I’ve faced much family members enough to know that.”

“I’m guessing that you speak of the Western Front?”

“Well, I have to speak of something somehow.” Erwin retorts as he looks around. They are in the middle of nowhere, an abandoned field without anything to help them. No signs, no roads. This has never happened before. “What do you think we should do now?”

“I guess we can try killing each other with our pistols.” Mike suggests with a grin. “Imagine what they’d write about you and me on the papers. It would be fantastic.”

“Sorry, I didn’t bring mine.” Erwin replies with a smug look. “I didn’t think I’d need it at all today. But feel free to use it on yourself. I’m sure one less pilot to fight would be delightful.”

“You know, they portrayed you to be much kinder in speech.”

“Don’t delude yourself, that’s all propaganda.”

Both of them decided to walk together away from the field, trying to find out where they were and where they could take shelter as they stood in the ground separating their own forces. Perhaps even finding some friendly forces that could help them return to base. The need for shelter became more important however when the rain started to pour down.

Soon, they found a small ditch with a roofed metal shelter.

Sitting beside one another in a large crate, the silence engulfed them as the raindrops continued to dance all around them. There was no sound of engines or rainstorms of bullets, only the breath of their lungs and the sound of the pouring rain. The platinum blond man sighed with annoyance, putting his officer’s cap over his head.

Erwin decided to end that all the silence.

“Your plane is new, isn’t it?” Erwin began to say to the Russian. “It’s a French plane, isn’t it?”

“You’ve got a good eye for knowing things, don’t you Blondie?”

“I would appreciate if you didn’t call me that.”

“Yeah, it is a French plane.” Mike nodded at him. “I bought them all from France.”

“I was right then.” Erwin smiled with satisfaction. “Considering that there was no news about your manufacturer getting a license to produce those types of planes, I wondered if it was privately bought.”

“You may know that we didn’t really pay attention to the air service too much until the war began.” Mike commented in response, lifting his right leg to rest on his left knee. “I had to do as much as I can for my men. The planes weren’t that expensive, especially with the backroom deals I managed to make.”

The Prussian raised a brow questioningly. “Did you ask the Tsar or high command for permission to even do that?”

The Russian took to his pockets, revealing a cigarette box. Handing one to Erwin, he replies with a grin, “Nope.”

 

Erwin and Mike looked at one another for a second before both men falling plague to laughter as Erwin slapped his knee.

 

“Why are you laughing?”

Erwin managed to stop shaking. “Oh, it’s because I never thought I would have so much in common with my great rival! Talking with him as if he was my closest and dearest friend.”

Mike shook his head and gave a soft smile, letting the Prussian put the cigarette on his lips. He took out a lighter, putting alight the roll on his new friend’s lips. “Well, I should say the same.”

“To be fair, the people in high command are cunts. Cowardly cunts.” Erwin retorts, huffing the cigarette’s intoxicating scent. “Making us fight like butchers. If they want to fight wars, they could do that on their own.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Mike nodded, lighting his own cigarette. “I was already retired from the military before this war.”

“I didn’t take you to be someone who was retired.”

“Never let the postures I make fool you, that never leaves a soldier even if they retire.”

“Where’d you serve?”

“The first one was in China, the so called Boxer Rebellion. My father was my commanding officer.” The Russian lets out a breath of smoke, recalling the story. “Ironically, I had just graduated from schooling a few months then.”

Erwin looked perplexed. “How old are you, Mike?”

Mike looked at him. “I’m thirty nine, I’ll be forty this November first.”

“You’re older than me...” Erwin could not believe the fact that this man was older than him. Mike could only laugh at his face. “You look younger than I do!”

“Already told you, don’t judge looks.” The man reminded him, waving the cigarette in the air. “Though, I think it’s because I retired after the war with the Japanese. The military turns you old, you know.”

“I really can’t believe this...”

“Retire while you still can. I’m telling you. It’s not good for the facial muscles as you grow older.”

“I’m not sure if I can retire at this point.” Erwin sighed, huffing the cigarette. “I’m already way into deep to give up.”

“It’s never too late to say no more, you know.” Mike retorted back at him. “You just need the right encouragement.”

Erwin raised a brow. “Oh? And what was your biggest encouragement?”

“My wife.” He admitted to his companion. Erwin noticed his features soften at the mention. “I quit the military to patch up things with my wife.”

“Let me guess, you never really expected to get married and so dedicated your life to the military but when you fell in love, you found yourself trapped?” Erwin guessed, looking into the dark skies outside the shelter. Mike looked surprised.

“Yes, that’s what I was going to say. Did you have a similar situation at your end?”

Erwin gave a small nod. “I suppose you could say that. Though I didn’t choose her. I choose the military.”

“You idiot.” Mike sighed, removing the cigarette from his lips. “You loved her, didn’t you? Why didn’t you pursue her? You would have a career whatever you do. But you won’t have the woman, your other half, beside you.”

“I did something when I was eighteen, a year into my career in the Foot Guards in Berlin. It was apparently so good of me to do it that they awarded me with a medal.” Erwin whispered, ticking away the burning end of the cigarette to the ground. “It made me realize in that moment, there would be no escape from this life. This was always supposed to be my life. I couldn’t put her through the torture of being in danger because of it.”

“Love would have found a way. You shouldn’t have let go.”

 

“Sometimes it does not and that is why we let go.” Erwin replied solemnly, a sad smile on his lips. “Besides, she already has her own family now. Her husband is a good man.”

“Good man, my ass. He just might be a rich man who can buy her anything she wants, security included.”

Erwin gave a small snort. “There’s that, I suppose. Though, I’m quite surprised you managed to keep your woman, knowing how stupid you seem now that I have met you.”

“I suppose I was.” Mike allowed himself to smile sadly. “You would have liked how she looked, you know. Unfortunately I don’t have her picture. I left it on my other officer’s coat.”

“You seem gloomy about it, as if she had died.”

“She’s very much alive, thank you very much.” Mike loudly responded to the man, mocking joy. “She’s just not in Russia.”

“Oh, she left you.”

“Terrible way to put it. A better way is we decided to separate.” The Russian pilot turned to gaze at the wet muddy ground. “There was much that happened between us through our marriage, good and bad. She was a little younger than me when we married. I was dedicated to my career and she tried to understand it. But as time passed, it was all too much. She decided to go back to her homeland and I haven’t heard from her since.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“It was too late when I realized, you know? It was quite dumb of me even though I boast to having experience under my belt. But I really knew nothing in the end and I lost her.”

Erwin patted his shoulder. “I’m quite sure that you will still have the chance to be with her when this is all over.”

“I don’t even know if she will take me back.” Mike laughed sadly. “But I’ll be alright with anything as long as she’s happy.”

“This conversation should have some alcohol in it, shouldn’t it?” Erwin suggested as Mike nodded, smoking the cigarette as he tried to remove the sorrow within him. “I think I should bring alcohol with me next time.”

“I agree, I think I’ll put vodka instead of water next time.”

“Who the hell puts water in his canteen knowing he’s going to die? Isn’t it better if it was vodka?”

“Shut up.” Erwin’s laughter rang out through the shelter. “How about you, Mr. Too Patriotic to Quit Even for Love? There are some women here and there. I’m quite sure that after that youthful blunder you made that you would learn from it and find some other woman.”

“I’m too busy for – “

“No, don’t give me that bullshit. There must be someone that captured your attention by this point!”

Erwin pursed his lips in a tight line before sighing. “There’s this nurse....”

“Ohhhh, getting to the juicy story!” Mike excitedly huff his cigarette, letting it rest on his lip. “Tell me more, sir!”

“I’m not even sure if it’s love yet, calm down.”

“But you feel partial and attached to this nurse, yes?”

“I suppose.” Erwin admitted as he too took a huff of the cigarette. “I...I don’t think I felt this way for the woman I once loved. And I’ve only known this nurse for months.”

“How’d you meet her?”

Erwin furrowed his brows downwards, pointing to his head. “How do you think?”

Mike gasped. “I aided in the forming of this romance? I’m honored.”

“God, you are weird you are.” Erwin sighed. “But I suppose you could claim ownership of that. If you hadn’t shot me, she wouldn’t have taken up to take care of me in the hospital. And I don’t know, I think...I think there is something between us that is just so unique, so special. It’s unlike anything else.”

“Describe her to me.”

“Why must I – “

“Just do it, man.”

Erwin let out a moan. “Fine. She’s...she’s beautiful. She has blond hair, usually she fuzzes so much with it because it’s not properly hidden in her nurse’s cap and she would force comb it straight to make it proper. She has the most unique eyes, vibrant ringlets that when shining against the sun you could see the midnight sky thorough daylight, a shining midnight sun I used to think. She has the most beautiful laugh, you know? Of course, she cackles like a pig in the end but I find it heinously adorable –“

“You’re in love with her.”

“What?”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? You’ve just given me small bits about her just now and you detailed things about her. You’ve been noticing her more and more, her habits and her attitudes. Every little detail, even in her cackled pig laughter.  I used to do the same about my wife and I still do. You are head over heels for this nurse and you doubt yourself. I thought you’ve fallen in love before.”

“I already did fall in love before.”

“Then when you were describing your first love, why didn’t you elaborate at the smallest detail of her that you liked or the things you missed about her? Just because she’s married doesn’t mean you’ll love her any less, right?”

Erwin blinked. “I...”

“You love this woman, I’m certain of it.” Mike assured him, finishing the cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stomping on it. “If you don’t believe me, uncover it for yourself by all means. But this is the truth I see.”

Erwin looked over to his cigarette, thinking about what Mike had said, putting it through his lips and inhaling the last of its intoxicating smell before dropping it on the ground.

Silence came to them as the rain slowly came into a halt.

Both men decided to go out of the shelter, stretching their body parts as they stood, firmly on the ground seeing the slow sight of sunlight patch through vibrant clouds. Erwin put back his officer’s cap, as it had been resting on his lap through the hours that had passed. Mike sighed, digging his hands into his long fur lined coat.

“You know, those cigarettes of yours,” Erwin began as they walked out of the trench. “They’re pretty good despite the strong flavor of it.”

Mike gifted him a prideful smile. “Thank you, I pride myself in making good cigarettes.”

Erwin’s eyes widened slightly, “Don’t tell me...”

“I own factories of it, I’ll drop down some on you and your men when I patrol again.”

“I’ll shoot you down for the conversation then.” Erwin nodded, finding his composure. “Perhaps for whiskey as well.”

“Oh, I suppose I’ll get some good treatment in your prison camps.”

“Hm, it depends on how you act at the time. Perhaps I’ll even have them make an airfield to stop your boredom.”

“How confident are you with not my desire to run away at that point?”

“Very.” Erwin smiled at him. “So, let me get more holes into your wings.”

Mike laughed hard, nodding. “I’ll note that then, Blondie.”

Erwin rolled his eyes, causing the Russian to laugh even harder.

“Despite the terrible nickname, I don’t think I’ve ever said this in a very long time to an opponent but thank you.” Erwin says as he lifts his hand up. “I’m seeing more humanity despite this war. That’s why I’m quite thankful for you and I meeting here properly, Mike Zacharias.”

Mike took his hand and shook it. “The pleasure is all mine. You showed me a beautiful sight today, even if it wasn’t the sky. I appreciate that, Erwin Smith. I hope you and I meet again one day.”

“I’m hoping that it would not be in the skies any longer.” Erwin admitted as they parted hands. “It would be a shame to lose a new friend that understands.”

“Indeed, it would be hard.” Mike agreed. “So, don’t die yet, alright?”

“I’ll try.” Erwin says softly. “Alright, I suppose we should part ways here for now.”

“Yes, we should.” The princely pilot nodded turning to the east, where the Russian lines sat in the quiet that day. “I’ll be heading this way, then.”

Erwin points to the west. “I’m sure I’ll find some soldiers ready to aid me.”

“I’ll come back for my plane.” Mike informs him as he turns his back. “I’ll be sure to tell the soldiers to leave your plane alone so you can retrieve yours.”

“Thank you.” Erwin says in reply. “That’s a new plane, after all.”

“So is mine!” Mike shouted, hand waving behind him. “Oh by the way, the war is going to be over sooner or later. Don’t be stupid this time, please. Hook up with that nurse!”

“Why do you say that?” Erwin shouted back.

“If you keep bitching about her, I’m pretty sure she’s doing the same!”

And with that, the Russian soldier uttered no other word and continuing on.

Erwin Smith snorted at the sight of his retreating form, himself heading towards the west.

Mike Zacharias was probably the best thing that has happened to him in a while.

Save of course, Erzsebet Dawk.

As he walked off, he started to wonder.

If he truly did love her, will she think the same?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**THERE WAS RELATIVE QUIET IN THE MEDICAL TENTS THAT AFTERNOON, SOMETHING THAT HAD BEEN WELCOMED AFTER THE CHAOTIC NATURE OF THE LAST TWO AERIAL MISSIONS.** Mikasa Ackerman hadn’t had the pleasure of sleep in the last two aerial missions as casualties amounted highly for the pilots as they faced more elite Russian counterparts in the skies over the border of the Russian empire and that of Galicia within itself.

Though she had to admit that she had not been one to flinch at the sight of blood and gore, the torn apart shreds of human flesh in itself, she was always stricken by sadness at being a witness to their suffering.

Mikasa Ackerman had never seen anything else that resembled the idea of hell than the things she had witness thus far in this war that had made not only the world but her as well to feel so weary and tired. Every day, she wondered what sort of emotions would pour out of her that day.

What would be the type of screams they would shrill through their lips as they were carried into the safety of the barracks? What would be the next body part of the poor damn soldier be injured or battered to the point of death would she try to fix that morning, that day, that night?

The sight of that every day for the last three years almost was the thing that made everything unbearable more than she would have hoped. Every other nurse suffered from that too, she knows that perhaps even doctors too have become sick to their stomach in only knowing this.

That is why it was a great relief to her when she found out that today was only a reconnaissance mission, she thought that perhaps if the soldiers in the sky were a tad bit more careful....then perhaps there would not be one soldier dead from this risk in the sky. Perhaps the peace she had started to relish above anything else would continue to be preserved.

Though this did not mean that there would be no more work to be done that day, there was much to be done more than one would think in this quiet day. Mikasa was in charge of making certain that the injured yet living soldiers within the tent she was in were all well fed, groom the beds and the men within them if needed and that they were receiving a dose of medicine to help them in their further healing.

It wasn’t as bad as one would imagine, though. Mikasa was in charge of operating only half of the forty men that had survived the past adventures from before and she was lucky to have gotten the more mellow natured ones who were polite in conversation and kind in their actions.

Sasha Braus on the other hand had her hands full, considering she had been given the care of the other half who were loud and obnoxious and often creating dramatic scenes which of course with the help of soldiers were broken apart. It is not to say that they were not also polite or kind but they were just truly a big pain to deal with most of the time.

Of course, the quiet could not last forever.

Marco Bodt started to play a harmonica.

“That’s a lovely tone you are playing there, _Herr_ Bodt.” Mikasa says softly as she washes her hands in the basin. Marco smiles at her, blushing at the compliment. “That’s _Fur Elise_ , is it not? Beethoven?”

Marco nodded at her. “Yes, indeed it is, _Frau_ Ackerman. He does have some beautiful pieces despite the drama, doesn’t he?”

“I suppose so,” Mikasa smiles softly at him, drying her hands. “You play very well, one of the best versions I have heard.”

“T-Truly?” He blushes even more, fumbling the harmonica with his fingers. “Well, I don’t think that it was more than an amateurish attempt to play something, Frau Ackerman.”

“Nonsense. Anyone can play beautifully if they try hard enough. And most certainly, that is even better than when my elder brother attempted to do so.”

Marco’s eyes grew wide. “Y-you have an elder brother?”

“I have many elder siblings,” Mikasa reveals fondly as she took to the table to take the syringe into the bottle of medicine. “They were much older than me though. That’s why they played music together all the time. I was a bit clumsy with it, now that I think about it.”

“I never really had any siblings before....What was that like?”

“It was never terrible.” The black haired woman smiled as the memories flashed through her head. “They always played with me despite the fact that they were already older. They made sure I was always laughing along with them, singing along to the music our mother would play. I never had a bad day with them around.”

“Ah, I feel rather jealous that you had siblings!” Marco pouted slightly as Mikasa went beside him, taking his arm and holding it firmly while the other held the syringe. “Though I suppose I had Jean growing up.”

“Both of you grew up together?”

“Yes, we did.” Marco nodded. “Our homes were right beside one another. That’s why our parents became close friends and in the end, we did too!”

“I see.” Mikasa nods. “Hold still, I have to inject the medicine now.”

Marco nodded and without complaints calmed himself as Mikasa wiped the spot of his skin and soon after injecting the needle through, pushing the medicine through the body. Marco hissed softly as Mikasa retracted the syringe, putting it away as she gave him a small pat on the shoulder.

“You took that like a champ.”

“It was painful, you know.”

“Well, most men scream when they get the syringe on their buttocks. But you took it well.”

Marco Bodt has got to be Mikasa’s favorite patient thus far. It was of course not because she was attracted to him or anything. It was because she found his tranquil nature a beautiful force to have within the confines of this rowdy, loud, masculine encampment. He was a refreshing breathe of fresh air, at the very least to her.

He always talked with such a soothing tone of a voice as if it was an angel giving the good message of god, always polite to anyone he saw within the camp and never allowing his careful language to be broken. He was always apologizing even though the mishap was not caused by him and was always making sure that people around him were alright, questioning even Mikasa when she would be going around the tent to treat the men with whatever service they needed at that moment.

It made Mikasa wonder how this angelic soul managed to befriend a more rough nature soul like Jean Kirstein.

Though Mikasa Ackerman supposed that opposites do attract all the time.

She had only need to look at herself and Eren Jaeger.

Mikasa Ackerman could only let her lips shut into a shuttered line as she thought about what Erzsi had told her time and time again. It would only break her heart to try and pursue anything with Eren Jaeger. It was only so foolish to even think about loving him knowing fairly well that it would never be.

Eren and her were different, born from a different world and a different point of view. Eren was born into the lavish beauty of wealth, the epitome of power. He was well respected and beloved, handsome and fair. The whole of the world knew of how easily he could do anything and people would still love him. He was essentially the epitome of human perfection.

But she, she was too different. Only one look at her and people are suspicious, people are horrified and filled with anxiety and uncertainty. She was born to a family that did care and love for her but she was born a bastard, child out of wedlock who people did not see even worthy of the love her family poured down onto her with the greatest of warmth and truest of devotion.

Mikasa was only lucky to be born but Eren was born lucky.

And yet she still loved him.

She still ached for the day she could tell him as much. Aching for the day she could hold his hand to hers and embracing it with such a tight touch filled with utterly full of her love. She kept longing for that day even though that day would never come. Even though the light of god’s good grace would not shine down on her.

Not to mention as well that he had someone waiting for him to come home.

As a member of the German nobility, he was first and foremost subjugated to the traditions of the old order. Even as a second son, Eren truly had very little freedom of his own to do as he wished if he wished not to embarrass the name his father and grandfather had worked so hard to rebuild after the disastrous bankruptcy his great-grandfather had caused. But especially now as the heir of his family’s legacy due to his brother’s desire to not have any affiliation with the traditions and order he had seen as backwards and outdated, Eren was stripped of what freedom he had left and would be forced to do things he did not want to even act on.

Especially in his choice of who to marry or even love.

Mikasa was powerless of that.

“Make way!” The voice so familiar to her, Mikasa immediately guessed it to be Armin Arlert. He was panting heavily as he had someone around his shoulder, groaning in pain. “ _Frau_ Ackerman! _Frau_ –“

“Yes, what is wrong?” Mikasa asked as she stood up from her sitting form in Marco’s bed. Marco’s brow furrowed as he watches the moment unfold.

Armin turned to the dark haired boy on his shoulder. “Eren, he injured himself gravely while he was trying to fix the propeller earlier. I...I accidentally opened the engine movement when I was trying to see if the synchronization mechanism was alright in his guns. You have to help him!”

Mikasa’s eyes widened, immediately lifting Eren’s head only to see it in grave pain. Turning her head to his injured hand, a large gash ripped through his arm which showed the inside of his flesh. “Oh dear god, we must lay him on that empty bed. Quickly!”

Armin with Mikasa’s help, pushed Eren carefully towards the empty hospital bed as the poor man fussed against the pain terribly. Mikasa tried to estimate how much blood would have poured out the young man, but she knew it would not be impossible to think that it could be enough to force him into certain shock that left him pale and in grave pain. She would need to clean this wound up properly to prevent the infection, stitch the wound up carefully to avoid any other mishap.

“Armin, he’ll be fine.” Mikasa exclaimed as she tried to comfort him, noticing that he kept staring at the blood on his hands. He felt utterly guilty, she was certain. Immediately, she threw his arms to the basin, rubbing it thoroughly to remove the blood stains. Then wiped it on her apron, drying his hands completely. “Please calm down, I will do whatever I can to make sure he will survive.”

“Eren is in pain..., It’s all my fault, Mikasa! Eren could die, couldn’t he? He could bleed to death or he could be infected –“

Mikasa pulled him to sit by the same space she had sat by Marco’s bed. She turned to the young freckled man. “ _Herr_ Bodt, will you do me a favor and make sure Herr Arlert here calms down?”

“Of course,” He nodded as Mikasa walked away, finding a clear basin of water and the materials she would need. Marco put his hand over Armin’s. Armin turned to look into his brown eyes. Marco smiles with the allure of calm . “It is going to be fine, Armin. It’s not your fault. It was an accident.”

“But what if – “

“She is going to make sure he is fine.” Marco added, looking at the boy on the bed. “She would not let him die. That’s not how she works.”

Mikasa Ackerman got to work as she dipped the medicinal alcohol over the basin of water, throwing the small white cloth in. Scrubbing it thoroughly, she immediately pressed it against the large glaring pool of blood that was the flesh of the man she loved, causing him to moan loud in pain. Mikasa’s eyes were filled with worry as she took her hand over his neck, making sure he was still breathing.

“..W..what...” Eren Jaeger murmured in the deluded state he was in, his eyes narrowed as the pain took his sight terribly. The sight was battered with blurs but as he tried hard enough, the image started to form into the epitome of the woman he had become so terribly fond of. “M...Mika...”

“Yes, it is me. You don’t have to force yourself to speak.” She whispered to him softly, almost like a beautiful lullaby. Her hand over his cheek, the warm of her touch made him feel as though the pain was nothing more than a pinch. His unscathed hand went to overlap her own, squeezing it tightly. “You will be alright, you will be alright. I swear it.”

Mikasa Ackerman was willing to do anything for Eren Jaeger.

Even ruin her moment of beloved peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**IT HAD BEEN A FASCINATING FEW DAYS TO BE A WITNESS TO THE DAILY LIFE OF _OBERLEUTNANT_ LEVI ACKERMAN WITH HER OWN TWO EYES. **People had always talked about the illustrious right hand man of the popular and well renowned Erwin Smith. Much of it is good and much of it was bad. But Petra von Rallenstein had always been sure to take everything in life with a grain of salt and not judge too quickly without having to see the situation at hand before her own two eyes.

Of course, that had not always been the case for Petra, growing up to be a little vainer than what she used to be. Even she was a woman who had judged her own fiancée with very harsh criticisms with not only his looks but also the way he acted despite his great station in life. But having started to open the gate of what could be when her loving man had told introduced her to a more open view of what life could be. And thus she had started to see more of the shades of grey life was always supposed to be.

Levi Ackerman was one of such with a reputation and a story that should be taken with careful thought. After all, none of them truly knew the whole narrative of who he is truly to those who knew him, who he is to Erwin Smith. It was bad enough for many people that he was a commoner who had latched himself to the reins of power through the blond haired man.

And of course he never one to really truly have an effort to make a softer side of himself known to all the people around him, which caused him to earn a crueler and rougher standing from the glaring eyes and the loud mouths of the people not only of the imperial court but also the general public and his own men within the military.

His ideals on strict discipline and overdone desire of cleanliness, his cold gazes which were as cold as they were sharp, his quiet demeanor reminding more one of a statue than a living breathing being. The way he had managed to earn the respect and fear of people around him through the threat and use of his martial prowess despite the disadvantage of his shockingly short height.

It was unnatural, Levi Ackerman was nothing short of like a different creature who was created by the devil of this earth that was Erwin Smith.

This was something that Petra had noticed that the dark haired man had not been inclined to tolerate, nor did he care about it all at once as well. However, the only comments that the _oberleutnant_ had cared to answer with his tough blows and his sharp words were that which disoriented the image and the pride of Erwin Smith. Petra had heard rumors of those certain acts before. About both young and old getting the hard well balanced fists of the right hand man so hard that they form a large bruise over half of their faces, the feeling of the tough excruciating pain of what his precise kicks ever their stomach that creates pockets of dark folds onto the skin that takes weeks to heal.

The amount of many broken bones from the fingers to the very toes were so horrific that Levi Ackerman was known to be the Bone Breaker for his very precise movements towards structures within the human body.

The very thought of him doing such things caused Petra such horror in her head, just imagining if all the stories were even indeed true. The amount of brutality that could be told about him mounted so well that it was a wonder why the noble blue eyed _oberstleutnant_ had fought hard to ensure that his right hand man remained by his side, knowing fully well that too much violence makes the image of the entire military look as though they were no better than the people they considered uncivilized and uncultured.

She had never thought to ask him as she sat there, watching him silently read over the chair uncomfortably still. He wore his officer’s cloak over his civilian clothes of a long sleeved shirt in the shade of white while his pants were as dark as his own hair, a heavy dark leather belt locking them tighter together through his waist. Perhaps she felt rather embarrassed, she felt afraid even to ask about it.

Petra could speak loosely when the pressure of work piled up, the fever of the high coursing through her veins as the thrill rushed through with each passing patient that would either need saving or fixing or even a final absolution.

But that was not going to happen knowing that she was not able to, intimidated by the idea of what had been carved over her head about the silver eyed man.

Petra did not know him well enough to know what he would do to her if she displeased him.

“You should just stop staring and speak up already.” Levi Ackerman exclaimed, causing her to look at him with wide eyes. He was not even looking at her, remaining fixated on his book. “It’s getting creepy, you just sitting there and staring at me like some ghost.”

“I.....”

“Where did the woman who screamed at me like I was the idiot, huh?” He adds, finally closing his book and placing it on the desk. He took to his coat’s pocket, revealing a box of cigarettes. Taking one, he puts it between his lips, lightening it carefully on the edge of the roll. “She was definitely a feisty one, wasn’t she?”

“....You mustn’t smoke here, _herr_ Ackerman.”

Levi could only snort, “It is my room. I’ll smoke if I want to.”

“It’ll make the pain in your stomach hurt even further, _herr_ Acker –“

“Just fuckin’ call me Levi. The formality is killing me more than the roll will kill my lungs or my wounds.” He says, huffing the smoke like it was the very breath of his body. “I don’t mind if you talk to me without the honorifics. Just don’t stutter or choke on your words.”

Petra swallowed the lump at her throat, Levi sighs. “I’m not going to bite you...yet. Just speak. It’s getting to me how silent you are.”

“I was not aware you would like to speak, I thought you preferred the silence, sir – “

“Just Levi.” He corrected her, putting the cigarette against his lips once more. “And how would you know that? I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone how much I like to be talkative.”

“I...I did not know that, s – Levi...”

“Well since we are having this conversation, you know that now. Of course, if this drags on for longer perhaps you’ll find out much more about me.” His grey eyes steadily focused on her face. “Of course, it’s obvious in your eyes. You are very curious about me, aren’t you, girl? Well, this is your moment. Ask away.”

“Are you certain that you would not get mad at my questions, no matter how pointless or stupid?”

“I could use the entertainment, so why not?” Levi flashes a small smirk, causing the knots to form in her stomach out of the sudden move of emotions. “Go on, I swear I won’t get mad.”

Petra took a deep breath, nodding at him. “Alright, here we go.....How.....how tall are you?”

Levi paused for a moment, turning his smirk into a small frown. “Out of the many questions you probably have right now, you choose that question?”

“What? I only did as you said! You said any question. And I’ve been curious about this matter, if you must know.”

He took another a deep breath, taking in the heavy scent of the intoxicating cigarette as if he was a frustrated boy. “One hundred and sixty centimeters.”

Petra put her hand into her mouth as Levi took another huff of the roll.  She looked at him as if asking permission. The dark haired man pursed his lips into a flat line before finally giving her a firm small nod.

Petra von Rallenstein erupted in a fit of obnoxious laughter.

“Oh dear lord, I was definitely wrong about my guess!”

“What? Did you think me shorter than that?”

She wipes the joyful tears falling from her face. “N – no, I actually expected the opposite! I thought you were a little taller! I mean, you are a little bit taller than me, after all.”

“Well, that’s something I’ve never gotten before.” He admitted to her as she stopped her act, raising a questioning look at him. “I’ve never been thought to be taller before.”

“Then this is a first?” He nodded. “I would have thought that you would smile at that then.”

“Tch, that’s not what you’ll get though.”

She sighed. “Well, I suppose I tried to gain something.”

“Just keep asking your questions before I change my mind.” He says, his lips still occupied by the roll of cigarette. “And no more height questions. It gets me quickly.”

“Then how about – “

“I know what you were going to ask and I can’t believe that a lady like woman like you would even consider that option.” Levi raises a finger warningly. “I can’t believe how wanton women have gotten these days.”

“I was not thinking about that!” Petra’s eyes widened slightly as embarrassment made her face as red as her own hair. “And I am not a wanton woman!”

The same smug look came upon his face. “Hmm, keep telling yourself that.”

“I will!” She says, red faced with embarrassment as Levi snorted loudly. “I swear....”

“Ask your question already.”

“Fine!” Petra sighed, crossing her arms against her chest. “How...How did you meet the _oberstleutnant_?”

“That is a long story.” Levi whistled as he removed the cigarette from his lips. “Not to mention a very old one.”

“I’m willing to listen to it.” Petra quickly allows a small smile on her lips. “If you would be so kind to tell it to me, of course.”

“We’ll need some alcohol.” Levi exclaims as Petra blinks at his words.  He points to a closed wide cabinet. “Open that one for me.”

Petra does as she is told, though still reluctant to believe she had heard what he had said. Opening it wide for him to see, she was stunned to see the various array of unique scotch, whiskey, vodka, wine and such the like lined up in the most appropriately clean manner. Petra was certain that the glass casings were shining on her face, even after she moved aside to let him look.

“This shouldn’t be what you are drinking now.” She exhales, looking at him worriedly. “You’re already smoking. Drinking would do you worse.”

“It’s a long story. I’m well within my rights to get drunk.” He merely replies to her worries. “Now, get two glasses.”

“Levi –“

“Pick silver ones, it looks like medieval goblets.”

“Levi, this is not gonna do us any good.”

“Just pull the goblets, Petra. This is a rare opportunity where I let people hear something of me. Far rarer is the fact that I granted you the right to ask me questions. If anything, you should be celebrating with a cup.”

Petra lifted her arms up with exasperation. “Fine. Fine, have it your way.”

“Good.” He says as he watches her grab the goblet like silvers. “Okay, there is something below there, a wine from seventeen forty eight, owned by Frederick the Great himself to celebrate the victory against the Austrians. Der...Der Grosse Konig was the name, I think?”

The red head’s eyes turned wide like saucers as she knelt down to look for it. “How do you have such a thing like this?”

“Erwin.” He merely states as she continued to search. One she had found it, she held it in her hands as if the bottle had been the most precious thing on earth. She put it on the table to meet his gaze. Returning to close the cabinet, she took a stool and placed it opposite him. “I was actually saving that for the end of the war but it seems it’s not ending any time soon.”

“Then why put it out now?”

“I think the Old Fritz would like to hear my story while he is a ghost and you and I are drunk.” Taking the bottle, he uncorks the mouth of the bottle with his thumb and index finger working together easily which stuns Petra as the loud echo sounds loud with the cork flying off to the ceiling. “Don’t tell anyone but that’s my hidden talent.”

“Breaking the ceiling?” She offered as he snorted.

“Ha ha ha, no.” Levi replies, urging her to put forward the goblets. When she did, he poured some wine for both of them. Pausing when it was half way the full limit, he put the bottle aside in the quiet yet safe corner of the table. She sits on her stool.

“This feels rather forbidden.” Petra whispers as Levi carefully slides the goblet for her hand to meet. “I’m supposed to be on duty right now.”

“Let it all go, I’ll take the fall for it.” Levi says in reply, intoxicating himself with another huff of grey smoke. “Not that those bastards could fight me for it anyhow. So feel free to drink as much as you’d like.”

“That was not the reaction I was hoping to get from you, considering how strict you act.”

“You’ve been in a long conversation with me enough to know that isn’t true, brat.”

“I am not a brat!”

“No you’re a pervert.” He bluntly remarks as she slapped her hand on the table. “Don’t get too offended. It was jest.”

“A jest I took seriously!”

“I’ll start the story now.” Ignoring her reply, he put the cigarette aside for the delicious abundance of sin the wine was in the silver goblet. “Are you listening?”

“Y-yes.” Petra nodded, smelling the strong essence of the wine. It has been fermented for almost two centuries after all. There was no doubt it would be strong. “I think so.”

Levi Ackerman paused to drink, looking grim and sighed.

“It was a very long time ago, we were just children then.” He started to say. “Formally, we were introduced in a party. It was a fun occasion, because it was. Nobles always tried to have as many fun occasions as they could have, knowing they already had much money for it in their pockets.”

“Not all the time.” Petra defended as he raised a brow at her. “There are times we have fun, certainly. But not all the time.”

“Well if that money you had for those fun times were combined, they’d solve poverty.” Levi retorted in the blunt manner he usually always had but there was an air of calm to it. Something Petra had never known to exist before. “Many people wouldn’t have died any longer from the starvation they had to endure while the rest of you drank your champagne.”

“I was dirt poor, as any other boy out there living in the far flung edges of the Prussian heart land, along with my mother.” He continues on, his memory of the bitter life he had endured in his earlier life ever so present in is head. Petra furrowed her brows, trying to comprehend everything he was saying. “It’s quite obvious from the way I talk anyhow. That’s something I never lost despite the fact that I’ve come to rise the ladder.”

“Where was your father?” Petra questioned, confused. “Shouldn’t he be with you and your mother?”

“God knows where the bastard is.” He responds, looking out the opened view of the window pane. There was a nest of birds chirping, their tone vibrant from across the room. “The moment he finished with my mother, he left as soon as he could and put the coin in her hands.”

Her orbs shattered with the abundance of surprise. “You don’t mean to say...”

“My mother was a whore, yes.” The crude manner he said it further surprised her. “What? My mother doesn’t deny that fact. She shouldn’t and nor should I. That kept both of us alive. Why? Do you see a problem in that?”

“No, It’s not that...I...the way you said it.”

“The truth is always better than the lie, Petra.” The way he said her name made her feel warmth at the soothing motion of the tone. “Now, where was I? Oh, yes. My father was not around. There were people that told her not to keep me. Of course, it was the best advice, she was a whore. It would ruin her career.”

“But she kept you.”

“She kept me.” He reiterated with a soft nod. “Of course, that was too much a risk. But for goodness sake she birthed me well despite being alone and there was no pain or so she claims. But what was important was that she was no longer alone. So there my life began in the dim room of that small flat, with no windows that spared both of us the sun.”

“I can already tell your mother was a strong one.” Petra offered him a small grin. He could not help return it to her. “I could just imagine the suffering and the pain she had to go through.”

“She is a strong one, she always will be.” Levi agreed, drinking another sip. “But I think we should skip all the other boring parts and get to the part where I met Erwin.”

“Where did you meet anyway?” Petra asks once more, tasting the wine. Releasing a small unpleasant sound due to the tough flavoring the wife offered. Levi eyed her as if to ask if she was alright. She nodded, swallowing. “Yes, I am perfectly fine. Continue, please.”

“We first truly met in the market.”

Petra looked perplexed. “I thought you met at a ball.”

“I said we met there more formally. I think that is what Erwin remembers as our first meeting or what he tells people, I don’t know. But we meet in the market when I tried to mug him.”

Petra choked.

“You tried to mug the _obersleutnant_?”

“Don’t be judgmental. My mother got sick and she couldn’t work, so I decided to try and mug someone. Plus Erwin did look like he was ready to be mugged. He was putting out this magnificently made pocket watch. Made out of pure gold. You could live well enough for the next few years with that. I could buy my mother medicine then.”

She now felt bad for overreacting. “At least tell me the reason why first. I feel bad for judging you unfairly when I react.”

“Does it look like I care if you judge me? I could care less what you think.” He took the cigarette once more, his breath lighting the end with golden orange rage.

“Still, it wouldn’t feel fair.” Petra argued to him as he shook his head, the smoke trailing behind.

“That’s the point, nothing is fair in life. Just react to it as your brain wishes to.” Petra sighed but nodded at him. “Anyhow, I managed to corner him in a narrow alley. It was actually the funniest sight to me.”

“Why?”

“I was holding up this knife in the air, certainly ready to aim it at him. But the bastard just stood there calm, asking me if I was alright.” Levi would have laughed once more as he did then uncertain if the youthful blond had been stupid or brave for trying to distract him then. “He was distracting me, trying to get my attention off killing him.”

“Did it work?” The red headed young woman exclaimed as he gives her a mysterious smile.

“What do you think?”

“Well, he is alive....so you wouldn’t have managed to stab him.”

“True but then again, he didn’t know how to dodge then either.” Levi says nonchalantly, taking a sip from his goblet. “I cut his neck deep enough to leave scarring.”

Petra gasps. “No!”

“Oh yes, I did.” Levi raised his cup to her, a wicked smile on his lips. “But that’s not where everything starts.”

“Tell me more, Levi! Don’t leave me hanging!” The young woman exclaimed as she watched the right hand man lean backwards to his chair’s back rest. She might be a little drunk from the strength of the wine. “Come on!”

“Alright, alright.” He retorts to her, before slamming the desk shocking her. She giggles, causing him to snort loudly at her. “Scared you, didn’t I?”

“You did, you did!” She says between the fits of her laughter.

“I should finish the story before you get too drunk.” He clears his throat as she waited for him to speak, sipping another trickle of wine. “So, Erwin manages to stall me for long enough as I cut his neck for a soldier from the Foot Guards regiment to find us. His father comes along a few moments later, accompanied by another guard.”

“Erbear was smart enough to stall you.” Petra giggles. “Hurray for him!

“I can’t wait to tell your sober self you called the fighting ace of the east that.”

“Just continue telling the story!” She cries as she drank the last of her wine. Looking at the empty goblet, she turned to him next with a wobbly smile. “More wine please?”

Levi sighed, taking the wine bottle and pouring some for her. “I always knew how stupid Erwin was but the first time we met was his finest hour.”

“Hm? How so?”

“He convinced his father that some thug hurt him and cut his neck and that I saved him.” Levi could feel still remember the disbelief in his head when Erwin had declared those stupid words. “Of course, his father believed him. He was after all a good boy.”

“He saved your life after you tried to mug him and possibly kill him? Erbear was such a strong willed soul for a kid.”

“It was because of his first great lie that my mother and I are still alive today.” Levi says solemnly, taking the drained roll of cigarette and stubbing it out onto the mahogany.

The grey orbs he shared with his mother battered with a great surge of emotion as he remembered how Erwin welcomed him into his home. With his neck bandaged up from the incident Levi had caused, Levi Ackerman could not help but wonder then why Erwin had lied. He still never did and perhaps he never would.

It was what it was.

Erwin would probably answer that.

“His family took us in. Paid for my mother’s medication and care and in turn my mother became Erwin’s other mother. It was also because of that, I turned into Erwin’s friend instead of his enemy.”

“Wow, I never thought that Erbear would be that kind, showy of emotions almost.”

“That was a long time ago.” He sighs, downing the last of his wine in one swig. He breathes in deeply. “Are you satisfied? With hearing my story?”

“I suppose I am.” She giggled, moving her goblet around. “That was a good story, Levi.”

“That’s the last time I’m telling people stories or entertaining questions.” He let out a shrug. “I don’t even think you’ll remember this when you sober up.”

“I don’t think so!” Petra giggled with a salute. Levi couldn’t help but give a small smile at that act. “Oh, you smiled! You should smile more, you know! You look handsome.”

“That is enough for you.” He says, taking away the goblet from her despite her protests and emptying it. Then he took what remained of the wine and placed it back into the cabinet. “I still intend on saving that for the end of the war.”

“Ohhhh? And who do you intend to drink it with?”

Levi touched his lips and closed his eyes, remembering that night.

“Leviiiiiii!”

“Nothing,” He says to her, holding the place where his wound lies and stood up carefully. “You stay here, alright? I’m going to find a soldier to make us tea.”

“Hmmm, okay!”

Levi placed his hand over her head and gently patted it. He gave her a small smile once again. “It was a nice talk, Petra. I needed it. So thank you.”

“It was nothing!” She saluted again, before being engulfed by more giggles.

Levi then started to walk through the halls slowly, a hand on his wound. The wound was not as painful as it had been days before thanks to Petra’s careful and thorough care for him. But of course there were still moments where he could feel the pain screech angrily at him and not to mention he worried that the stitches would reopen the wound if he was not careful.

Levi Ackerman was determined to return to the skies again after that talk.

It reminded him of the reason why he joined here in the first place.

It reminded him of his goal in life from the moment he had seen the blue skies reflect in his eyes.

It reminded him that he was willing to do anything, willing to go anywhere and was willing to do further and beyond.

If it meant his devoted heart would be of use to Erwin Smith.


End file.
